OT: Update on Gram's Cancer...........................................

Well it had been a pretty uneventful month until as you know Grandpa
died. Gram has been tooling along. She does not get out of bed at all
now. They do keep her turned ever 2 hours. She decided by herself she
was going to stop the Neurontin.. Bad Idea!!! She began hallucinating
and seeing people on the ceiling. I encouraged her to take one a day
and give up the cold turkey stuff. She is pretty confused in the
mornings and thinks she was moved into a new room during the night but
then clears up in a couple of hours. She has the "smell" I dont know
if any of you have "smelled" cancer before but it's foul. The doc
asked me to bring a bag of kitty litter in and we filled a couple wash
basins and very nonchalantly slipped them under her bed. It works to
absorb some of the odor. She is having a lot of "new" pain. Her hips
are bothering her quit a bit but her biggest complaint is the right
upper quadrant pain. The doc suspects the cancer in her R lung has
also metasticized to her liver. Every time I leave she asks when I
will be back. My visits are longer now. I have asked her a general
question if she feels scared and insecure. She says no and said if I
am referring to dying she is not afraid to die. She likes to hold my
hand and every day I leave we exchange "I love yous" as I never know
when it will be the last one. She has always been a strong cry for a
minute and carry on woman. She has really softened. She loves the
visits and sweet talks. Her appetite is fair. Her requests this week
were a glazed donut, watermelon, bologna sandwich made with Miracle
WHip, romaine hearts and mustard on white Wonder bread! Of course I
give her anything she wants.
The other day she was real bad with a fever and confused! I came home,
took a shower and bawled my eyes out in the shower while Pops and the
girl were gone. When I got out, I looked in the mirror as I was drying
my hair and WHOA!!!! I blew the blood vessels in my right eye and it
turned bloodshot!!! I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
know how this story is going to end.
Just thought I would share with you
Laureen

"Laureen" <TheBennetts@olypen.com> wrote in message
news:c4cae1ce.0408051441.6e2cd609@posting.google.com...
> Well it had been a pretty uneventful month until as you know Grandpa
> died. Gram has been tooling along. She does not get out of bed at all
> now. They do keep her turned ever 2 hours. She decided by herself she
> was going to stop the Neurontin.. Bad Idea!!! She began hallucinating
> and seeing people on the ceiling. I encouraged her to take one a day
> and give up the cold turkey stuff. She is pretty confused in the
> mornings and thinks she was moved into a new room during the night but
> then clears up in a couple of hours. She has the "smell" I dont know
> if any of you have "smelled" cancer before but it's foul. The doc
> asked me to bring a bag of kitty litter in and we filled a couple wash
> basins and very nonchalantly slipped them under her bed. It works to
> absorb some of the odor. She is having a lot of "new" pain. Her hips
> are bothering her quit a bit but her biggest complaint is the right
> upper quadrant pain. The doc suspects the cancer in her R lung has
> also metasticized to her liver. Every time I leave she asks when I
> will be back. My visits are longer now. I have asked her a general
> question if she feels scared and insecure. She says no and said if I
> am referring to dying she is not afraid to die. She likes to hold my
> hand and every day I leave we exchange "I love yous" as I never know
> when it will be the last one. She has always been a strong cry for a
> minute and carry on woman. She has really softened. She loves the
> visits and sweet talks. Her appetite is fair. Her requests this week
> were a glazed donut, watermelon, bologna sandwich made with Miracle
> WHip, romaine hearts and mustard on white Wonder bread! Of course I
> give her anything she wants.
> The other day she was real bad with a fever and confused! I came home,
> took a shower and bawled my eyes out in the shower while Pops and the
> girl were gone. When I got out, I looked in the mirror as I was drying
> my hair and WHOA!!!! I blew the blood vessels in my right eye and it
> turned bloodshot!!! I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
> know how this story is going to end.
> Just thought I would share with you
> Laureen

What a difficult time you're going through! You and Gram are in my thoughts
and prayers. Take care of yourself!
Em

Laureen...
Being (well, about to be in your case) the survivor of a loved one is
just the pits...no 2 ways about it. The loved one makes a transition to
a realm of peace and comfort leaving behind the survivors to deal with
the loss and the pain of that loss the best they can as mere mortals.

What I'm about to write isn't a comfortable subject for many people but
for some, like myself, it is and, I believe, it's the highest gift of
love. That is...the act of giving a loved one the verbal permission to
let go, to make his/her transition; assuring the loved one that the
valuable lessons and love you received from him/her during your
lifetime will stay with you for the rest of your life and allow you to
have the strength to move thru this time of pain and sorrow.

I've witnessed the results of this gift of permission far too many
times to not believe in it. Again, it's not for everyone...definitely a
YMMV situation. Just a thought...

At some point the pain of your eventual loss will be replaced by the
pleasure of so many years of wonderful memories. Til then, you're in my
prayers.

Aloha...Sue (who is currently going thru what you're going thru)



In article <c4cae1ce.0408051441.6e2cd609@posting.google.com>,
TheBennetts@olypen.com (Laureen) wrote:

> Well it had been a pretty uneventful month until as you know Grandpa
> died. Gram has been tooling along. She does not get out of bed at all
> now. They do keep her turned ever 2 hours. She decided by herself she
> was going to stop the Neurontin.. Bad Idea!!! She began hallucinating
> and seeing people on the ceiling. I encouraged her to take one a day
> and give up the cold turkey stuff. She is pretty confused in the
> mornings and thinks she was moved into a new room during the night but
> then clears up in a couple of hours. She has the "smell" I dont know
> if any of you have "smelled" cancer before but it's foul. The doc
> asked me to bring a bag of kitty litter in and we filled a couple wash
> basins and very nonchalantly slipped them under her bed. It works to
> absorb some of the odor. She is having a lot of "new" pain. Her hips
> are bothering her quit a bit but her biggest complaint is the right
> upper quadrant pain. The doc suspects the cancer in her R lung has
> also metasticized to her liver. Every time I leave she asks when I
> will be back. My visits are longer now. I have asked her a general
> question if she feels scared and insecure. She says no and said if I
> am referring to dying she is not afraid to die. She likes to hold my
> hand and every day I leave we exchange "I love yous" as I never know
> when it will be the last one. She has always been a strong cry for a
> minute and carry on woman. She has really softened. She loves the
> visits and sweet talks. Her appetite is fair. Her requests this week
> were a glazed donut, watermelon, bologna sandwich made with Miracle
> WHip, romaine hearts and mustard on white Wonder bread! Of course I
> give her anything she wants.
> The other day she was real bad with a fever and confused! I came home,
> took a shower and bawled my eyes out in the shower while Pops and the
> girl were gone. When I got out, I looked in the mirror as I was drying
> my hair and WHOA!!!! I blew the blood vessels in my right eye and it
> turned bloodshot!!! I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
> know how this story is going to end.
> Just thought I would share with you
> Laureen

In article <c4cae1ce.0408051441.6e2cd609@posting.google.com>,
TheBennetts@olypen.com says...

> Just thought I would share with you

{{{{{{{{{{ Laureen }}}}}}}}}}

--
Saffire
205/149/125 - 5'1.5"
Atkins since 6/14/03
Progress photo: http://photos.yahoo.com/saffire333

Laureen, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
267/195/135

-See your life situations as simply opportunities for greater growth.-

Laureen,

Both you and your Gram are in my prayers. I can't imagine how hard it is to
be in your shoes right now. Take comfort in the fact that she has some
lucid moments and is not afraid.

Wishing I could say more to comfort you,
Linda
296/208/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html

"Laureen" <TheBennetts@olypen.com> wrote in message
news:c4cae1ce.0408051441.6e2cd609@posting.google.com...
> Well it had been a pretty uneventful month until as you know Grandpa
> died. Gram has been tooling along. She does not get out of bed at all
> now. They do keep her turned ever 2 hours. She decided by herself she
> was going to stop the Neurontin.. Bad Idea!!! She began hallucinating
> and seeing people on the ceiling. I encouraged her to take one a day
> and give up the cold turkey stuff. She is pretty confused in the
> mornings and thinks she was moved into a new room during the night but
> then clears up in a couple of hours. She has the "smell" I dont know
> if any of you have "smelled" cancer before but it's foul. The doc
> asked me to bring a bag of kitty litter in and we filled a couple wash
> basins and very nonchalantly slipped them under her bed. It works to
> absorb some of the odor. She is having a lot of "new" pain. Her hips
> are bothering her quit a bit but her biggest complaint is the right
> upper quadrant pain. The doc suspects the cancer in her R lung has
> also metasticized to her liver. Every time I leave she asks when I
> will be back. My visits are longer now. I have asked her a general
> question if she feels scared and insecure. She says no and said if I
> am referring to dying she is not afraid to die. She likes to hold my
> hand and every day I leave we exchange "I love yous" as I never know
> when it will be the last one. She has always been a strong cry for a
> minute and carry on woman. She has really softened. She loves the
> visits and sweet talks. Her appetite is fair. Her requests this week
> were a glazed donut, watermelon, bologna sandwich made with Miracle
> WHip, romaine hearts and mustard on white Wonder bread! Of course I
> give her anything she wants.
> The other day she was real bad with a fever and confused! I came home,
> took a shower and bawled my eyes out in the shower while Pops and the
> girl were gone. When I got out, I looked in the mirror as I was drying
> my hair and WHOA!!!! I blew the blood vessels in my right eye and it
> turned bloodshot!!! I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
> know how this story is going to end.
> Just thought I would share with you
> Laureen

(((((((((((((((((((((((laureen)))))))))))))))))))))))))

you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers!

Laureen wrote:
<snip>
I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
| know how this story is going to end.
| Just thought I would share with you
| Laureen

Hang it here, Laureen. It's the toughest times in our lives that mold us,
give us strength and help us grow; and you need to be the strength for your
Gram right now.

This is the quote that headlines my website; it's thought-provoking and has
given me a lot of hope -- perhaps it will do the same for you:

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an
invincible summer"
- Albert Camus
--
Peter
270/215/180
Before/Current Pix:
http://users.thelink.net/marengo/wei...htlosspix.html

Hi,
On 5-Aug-2004, TheBennetts@olypen.com (Laureen) wrote:

> Well it had been a pretty uneventful month until as you know Grandpa
> died. Gram has been tooling along. She does not get out of bed at
> all now.
Snip
> I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
> know how this story is going to end.

As it will for us all someday. Just a question of when and how.
Enjoy your time with Gram. There'll be time to cry when she's gone,
but now is all the time for laughter she has left.
My thoughts are with you all.

Take care of yourself,
Carmen

{{{{{Laureen}}}}}

I'm so sorry about your grandfather and Gram. My prayers are with you and
your family.

~Carol Ann
www.lowcarblosers.com ~ Home of the FREE Monthly Weightloss Challenge

http://tinyurl.com/33uk7 <---Recent Pictures of Morgan born 3.24.04



"Laureen" <TheBennetts@olypen.com> wrote in message
news:c4cae1ce.0408051441.6e2cd609@posting.google.com...
> Well it had been a pretty uneventful month until as you know Grandpa
> died. Gram has been tooling along. She does not get out of bed at all
> now. They do keep her turned ever 2 hours. She decided by herself she
> was going to stop the Neurontin.. Bad Idea!!! She began hallucinating
> and seeing people on the ceiling. I encouraged her to take one a day
> and give up the cold turkey stuff. She is pretty confused in the
> mornings and thinks she was moved into a new room during the night but
> then clears up in a couple of hours. She has the "smell" I dont know
> if any of you have "smelled" cancer before but it's foul. The doc
> asked me to bring a bag of kitty litter in and we filled a couple wash
> basins and very nonchalantly slipped them under her bed. It works to
> absorb some of the odor. She is having a lot of "new" pain. Her hips
> are bothering her quit a bit but her biggest complaint is the right
> upper quadrant pain. The doc suspects the cancer in her R lung has
> also metasticized to her liver. Every time I leave she asks when I
> will be back. My visits are longer now. I have asked her a general
> question if she feels scared and insecure. She says no and said if I
> am referring to dying she is not afraid to die. She likes to hold my
> hand and every day I leave we exchange "I love yous" as I never know
> when it will be the last one. She has always been a strong cry for a
> minute and carry on woman. She has really softened. She loves the
> visits and sweet talks. Her appetite is fair. Her requests this week
> were a glazed donut, watermelon, bologna sandwich made with Miracle
> WHip, romaine hearts and mustard on white Wonder bread! Of course I
> give her anything she wants.
> The other day she was real bad with a fever and confused! I came home,
> took a shower and bawled my eyes out in the shower while Pops and the
> girl were gone. When I got out, I looked in the mirror as I was drying
> my hair and WHOA!!!! I blew the blood vessels in my right eye and it
> turned bloodshot!!! I so dont want to say goodbye but...... we all
> know how this story is going to end.
> Just thought I would share with you
> Laureen