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How to win friends and influence people

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David Martin
  
For a commuting story with a difference, have a look at
http://www.cyclingplus.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=22092
for a bit of entertainment.

----
And the Winner is.. posted by Flyingdutchman

riding to work this morning. going the all-raod route
rather than the bikepath way (quicker and had a conference
call to make)

Plumber-type in 4WD and HUGE trailer full of bricks
lumbering along. changes lanes half a dozen times as if he's
in a FIAT500, no indicators, no giving way (nor looking!).

I ride up to his window and ask in the nicest possible voice
"i think yuor indicators may not be hooked up on the
trailer, mate"

"!$@# off, you !$@#", he replies.

Im determined not to get into a biffo, so says. Sorry, its
just you changed lanes several times, cut people off, almost
hit me repeatedly so i thought you must have been driving
assuming that the indicators were working!

More of the ("!$@# off, you !$@#") same follows...

Im just smiling and wave. "Have nice day, sir" Well, that
was it. He cracked it!!! Chased me (as much as he could in
peak hour LOL) shouting with head out window. I forgot
about him soon enough, stop off at newsagents (to see if
Feb C+ has teleported to the southern hemisphere yet!!!).
Walk out, and there is plumber-boy, red faced, still
shouting ranting at me.

a minute or so of him spewing forth. Im not biting. Im just
smiling. Its really winding him up too!

"You have everything to lose here, you realise" i say.
What the !$@# are you talkin about? Im gonna kick your
head in!!!"

"I doubt it buckaroo. Im half your age, twice your size,
probably twice as fast (i lean forward and go "BOO" in his
face and he jumps a mile. LOL) and besides, I can I.D. you!
You havent got a clue who I am!!"

"How the !@$# do you know who I am????"

"Just a minute", I says. Get out my mobile and ring (the
number on the door of his truck LOL). His phone rings, he
answers begrudgingly not realising its me... "Hello?
Barry speaking"

"Hello Barry, I think your trailer isnt roadworthy" Im
fighting back the urge to wet myself laughing at this stage

"You little !@$#".

Someone taps him on the shoulder "excuse me sir" He pushs
them away without looking behind me. He's a nice shade of
puce(?) by now... "excuse me sir" again

Barry wheels around, "Look you !$@#...."

Mr Plod smiles, Barry visibly shrinks, Im pissing
myself by now!

"Having a good morning then are we?" says Mr Plod

Barry grumbles, Mr Plod looks at me, Barry looks nervously
at me to see what Im going to say. "Im fine Sir" Barry here
was just going to give me a quote on some plumbing, werent
you Barry?" Barry smiles nervously, nods. Mr Plod wants a
reason to get him now, it appears. Walks around truck.
"Youre parked in a clearway, driver. And these indicators
dont appear to be working". I pipe up "We were just
discussing that. we think the plug has come undone. I nudge
Barry and tell him to get in the truck. I plug in the
dangling lead to the trailer and shout out "OK, brake" The
lights glow. "Left" etc until its shown that all is well
with Barry's truck/trailer.

Mr Plod smirks at me as Barry gets outta the truck again.
"OK just get going then, gentlemen"

Barry is back to a nice fleshtone now. "Thanks mate. Im
really sorry for being a !$@#" "Forget it. can you do me a
favour tho?" "Sure, what?" "Next time you see a cyclist,
please give us a break"

"Sure matey. you wanna lift somewhere?"

"Nah, youre too slow" i grin...

Drivers. Cyclists just looking for a place to happen!

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