Summary of Lance Excuses
View Full Version : Summary of Lance Excuses
"Mike Jacoubowsky/Chain Reaction Bicycles" <MikeJ@ChainReaction.com> wrote
in message news:h56yc.357$3s2.90@newssvr27.news.prodigy.com...
> > > > She has been very specifically placed in LA's life
> > > > by Ullrich. When Ullrich powers away from LA in the
> > > > Tour, upon LA's arrival on the
mnt
> > > > top finish, Sheryl will be standing there waiting on
> > > > LA; however,
she
> > > > will be in the arms of Ullrich and on his other arm,
> > > > LA's former
wife.
> > > > His kids---all wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys--
> > > > running around Ullrich calling him "Daddy"!!!
> > >
> > > So Lance retaliates and snags Catherine Zeta Jones (T-
> > > Mobile
> spokeswoman,
> > > for the few who don't know). Who's the fool now?
> >
> > And Michael Douglas has Armstrong whacked in the legs.
>
> ...thus completing the cycle. Eddy gets punched in the
> liver (supposedly hastening the end of his career) and
> Armstrong has his legs whacked.
Still,
> as the ad says, Lance would "get more." I've heard of
> worse trades.
Good legs and Sheryl. Whacked legs and K. Z-J. Now there's a
moral delemma.
>From: Jamie Hyatt y2jamie@earthlink.net
>From: Jamie Hyatt y2jamie@earthlink.net
>Since Sheryl has come up, my theory is this....
>
>She has been very specifically placed in LA's life by
>Ullrich. When Ullrich powers away from LA in the Tour, upon
>LA's arrival on the mnt top finish, Sheryl will be standing
>there waiting on LA; however, she will be in the arms of
>Ullrich and on his other arm, LA's former wife. His kids---
>all wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys--running around Ullrich
>calling him "Daddy"!!!
>
>Mark my words...this will happen...
God Damn, Keyboard! Bill C
10. French people hate me
The real one, Lance would like to maintain a high level of
interest in the TOUR.
-WG
"Shussbar" <cryspat99@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20040610213109.24904.00000442@mb-m21.aol.com...
> 10. French people hate me
You mean like they also hated Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault
and Laurent Fignon? In fact, the only reason they liked
Anquetil was because he was screwing everyone's mother or
sister or daughter.
"Tom Kunich" <cyclintom@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3Zayc.1348$Wr.1295@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> "Shussbar" <cryspat99@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20040610213109.24904.00000442@mb-
> m21.aol.com...
> > 10. French people hate me
>
> You mean like they also hated Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault
> and Laurent Fignon? In fact, the only reason they liked
> Anquetil was because he was screwing everyone's mother or
> sister or daughter.
>
>
LOL Geez Tom you don't hang back!
Best Regards
Marty Wallace
Originally posted by Trg
The dog ate my EPO.
:D
LANCE accidentally got a look at Michael Rasmussen:
tp://grahamwatson.com/gw/imagedocs.nsf/photos/04dauphineSt4-
002000
and was so freaked out he couldn't concentrate on the road.
Maybe one of the resident Trekkies can tell us which episode
he's from. (Or is it bald Sigourney Weaver from Alien III?)
The UCI should mandate that Rasmussen has to keep his helmet
on, even for climbs. Or at least wear a hat for god's sake.
On 06/10/2004 10:57 PM, in article
3Zayc.1348$Wr.1295@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net, "Tom Kunich"
<cyclintom@yahoo.com> wrote:
> "Shussbar" <cryspat99@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20040610213109.24904.00000442@mb-
> m21.aol.com...
>> 10. French people hate me
>
> You mean like they also hated Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault
> and Laurent Fignon? In fact, the only reason they liked
> Anquetil was because he was screwing everyone's mother or
> sister or daughter.
Nah ... They didn't like Anquetil either, until years after
he stopped racing ... They much preferred Raymond "The
Eternal Second" Poulidor.
Now ... Since Poulidor's other nickname is "Pou-pou", should
we start referring to him as "The Eternal Number 2" ???
--
Steven L. Sheffield stevens at veloworks dot com veloworks
at worldnet dot ay tea tee dot net bellum pax est libertas
servitus est ignoratio vis est ess ay ell tea ell ay kay ee
sea aye tee why you ti ay aitch aitch tee tea pea colon [for
word] slash [four ward] slash double-you double-yew double-
ewe dot veloworks dot com [four word] slash
In article <40c968f7@darkstar>, Benjamin Weiner <bjw@mambo.ucolick.org>
wrote:
> LANCE accidentally got a look at Michael Rasmussen:
>
> ://grahamwatson.com/gw/imagedocs.nsf/photos/04dauphineSt4-
> 002000
I hope he's got a *lot* of sunblock on or his scalp is
gonna be fried.
--
tanx, Howard
"Copper will never be gold" Shellac
remove YOUR SHOES to reply, ok?
Benjamin Weiner <bjw@mambo.ucolick.org> wrote:
> LANCE accidentally got a look at Michael Rasmussen:
> ://grahamwatson.com/gw/imagedocs.nsf/photos/04dauphineSt4-
> 002000
> and was so freaked out he couldn't concentrate on the
> road. Maybe one of the resident Trekkies can tell us which
> episode he's from. (Or is it bald Sigourney Weaver from
> Alien III?)
http://captaincheesefist.orcon.net.nz/images/talosian.gif
Bob Schwartz cvcc@execpc.com
Bob Schwartz wrote:
> Benjamin Weiner <bjw@mambo.ucolick.org> wrote:
>
>>LANCE accidentally got a look at Michael Rasmussen:
>
>
>>://grahamwatson.com/gw/imagedocs.nsf/photos/04dauphineSt4-
>>002000
>
>
>>and was so freaked out he couldn't concentrate on the
>>road. Maybe one of the resident Trekkies can tell us which
>>episode he's from. (Or is it bald Sigourney Weaver from
>>Alien III?)
>
>
> http://captaincheesefist.orcon.net.nz/images/talosian.gif
>
> Bob Schwartz cvcc@execpc.com
I don't know which is more disturbing, that Rasmussen
resembles a Talosian or that you had that link.
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote ...
> "Jeff Jones" <jeff@cyclingnews-punt-com> wrote...
> >
> > "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:-
> > A84yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> > > 9. His socks are too high.
> > >
> > You're enjoying this aren't you Brian?
> >
> > Jeff
>
> Of course. And really, those socks are way too high. Next
> thing you know he'll need executive garters to keep them
> up. I'll bet it cost him 4 seconds in added drag.
One of the scant few things I agree with Brian Laughontee
about -- those knee high white socks gotta go aleady! Damn!
-Ken P.
Benjamin Weiner <bjw@mambo.ucolick.org> wrote in message news:<40c968f7@darkstar>...
> LANCE accidentally got a look at Michael Rasmussen:
>
> ://grahamwatson.com/gw/imagedocs.nsf/photos/04dauphineSt4-
> 002000
>
> and was so freaked out he couldn't concentrate on the
> road. Maybe one of the resident Trekkies can tell us which
> episode he's from. (Or is it bald Sigourney Weaver from
> Alien III?)
ROTFL! Between that photo and LANCE's white Nike socks style
make-overs are warranted.
Damn.
-K.P.
> The UCI should mandate that Rasmussen has to keep his
> helmet on, even for climbs. Or at least wear a hat for
> god's sake.
Completely Agredd. (I wear I hat to cover my bald-ass head
in the sun)
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:<dz4yc.20956$Yd3.17637@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>...
> "Jeff Jones" <jeff@cyclingnews-punt-com> wrote in message
> news:40c8d246$0$8395$a0ced6e1@news.skynet.be...
> >
> > "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:-
> > A84yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> > > 9. His socks are too high.
> > >
> > You're enjoying this aren't you Brian?
> >
> > Jeff
>
> Of course. And really, those socks are way too high. Next
> thing you know he'll need executive garters to keep them
> up. I'll bet it cost him 4 seconds in added drag.
So after you win 5 Tours, you can tell us all how to wear
our socks. Come Tour time, he's going to be on. High socks
or not. Let's face it, most of us are cyclists on here,
not very well known for our fashion acumen. Let's stick to
the important stuff like talking about how much dope
everyone is on.
Tom
"Tom Arsenault" <giantcu92@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b44a1227.0406110801.12fb7ecb@posting.google.com...
> "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:<dz4yc.20956$Yd3.17637@newsread3.news.atl.earthli-
nk.net>...
> > "Jeff Jones" <jeff@cyclingnews-punt-com> wrote in
> > message news:40c8d246$0$8395$a0ced6e1@news.skynet.be...
> > >
> > > "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message ne-
> > > ws:A84yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.n-
> > > et...
> > > > 9. His socks are too high.
> > > >
> > > You're enjoying this aren't you Brian?
> > >
> > > Jeff
> >
> > Of course. And really, those socks are way too high.
> > Next thing you
know
> > he'll need executive garters to keep them up. I'll bet
> > it cost him 4 seconds in added drag.
>
> So after you win 5 Tours, you can tell us all how to wear
> our socks. Come Tour time, he's going to be on. High socks
> or not. Let's face it, most of us are cyclists on here,
> not very well known for our fashion acumen. Let's stick to
> the important stuff like talking about how much dope
> everyone is on.
Gianni Bugno would never agree with you. Joop has more
sartorial style. If he rides the Giro next year, I'll bet
it'll be an issue in the Italian press.
"Shussbar" <cryspat99@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20040611081749.20447.00000805@mb-m07.aol.com...
> >You mean like they also hated Eddy Merckx, Bernard
> >Hinault and Laurent Fignon?
>
> i don t get that one? Hinault and Fignon were beloved.
Not until they each lost a few big races. Fignon never won
anything important while he had the support of the majority
of the French fans and Hinault had to wait for most of his
career as well. They started to come around (for Hinault)
after he came back from his '83 Vuelta injury (he placed
second in the 1984 Tour to the still not-so-popular Fignon
and then won in Lombardia late that season and then finally
won the Tour again in '85 to keep the Yankee out of yellow
in Paris). Fignon was sort of supported while racing against
Lemond in '89 (he had several crap years but then won the
Giro that year to become the odds on favorite for the Tour)
but only really became popular after Lemond humiliated him.
The French do not like winners unless it comes after at
least some hardship and even then they may have to wait
until after their demise. Anquetiel was not really honored
or "beloved" until after he died.
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:gSkyc.22961$Yd3.20091@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> "Tom Arsenault" <giantcu92@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:b44a1227.0406110801.12fb7ecb@posting.google.com...
> >
> > So after you win 5 Tours, you can tell us all how to
> > wear our socks. Come Tour time, he's going to be on.
> > High socks or not. Let's face it, most of us are
> > cyclists on here, not very well known for our fashion
> > acumen. Let's stick to the important stuff like talking
> > about how much dope everyone is on.
> Gianni Bugno would never agree with you. Joop has more
> sartorial style.
If
> he rides the Giro next year, I'll bet it'll be an issue in
> the Italian press.
Most Italians do know how to put their kit on and style
their hair for the job, that is for sure. The thing about
the socks is that he had to get them from somewhere, and I
have never seen anything like that from a typical cycling
vendor. What is up with those things? For years I said
nothing about his lack of straight pant legs (on Lance's
cycling shorts) because lots of dorks screw that up. It is
those socks that I do not get. How did he get those
outrageous socks? On style points, did anyone see that
article last year about the newest Nike shoes? They are all
made in Italy by Diamante (all of the Nike prototypes are
made by DMT) and the latest prototype was sent to the Nike
athlete relations department in the "hot color" of the
moment, Azure. Lance refused to wear them and insisted they
be made in black, which also meant that they have to sell
black to the wannabes too. IIRC, the same thing happened
with his Sidis when he was supplied by them (at Motorola).
He has to use the non-mesh versions of the G3 so that he
could wear all black. I can't recall seeing any other color
on his feet since he finally got his hair cut. Prior to
Motorola Lance was on the Subaru Montgomery team as an
amateur and his hair was longer than Cipo's ever was, and
had some kind of "Rasta man" thing too. If anyone remembers
what he looked like then, you will likely excuse his lack
of style. At least he is now smart enough to keep his hair
short and allow most of his suppliers to kit him out.
Things could be a whole lot worse, I'm telling y'all.
Chris <chrismcreynolds@hotmail.com> wrote:
> "Shussbar" <cryspat99@aol.comnospam> wrote in message news:20040611081749.20447.00000805@mb-
> m07.aol.com...
>> >You mean like they also hated Eddy Merckx, Bernard
>> >Hinault and Laurent Fignon?
>>
>> i don t get that one? Hinault and Fignon were beloved.
> Not until they each lost a few big races. Fignon never won
> anything important while he had the support of the
> majority of the French fans and Hinault had to wait for
> most of his career as well. They started to come around
> (for Hinault) after he came back from his '83 Vuelta
> injury (he placed second in the 1984 Tour to the still not-so-
> popular Fignon and then won in Lombardia late that season
> and then finally won the Tour again in '85 to keep the
> Yankee out of yellow in Paris). Fignon was sort of
> supported while racing against Lemond in '89 (he had
> several crap years but then won the Giro that year to
> become the odds on favorite for the Tour) but only really
> became popular after Lemond humiliated him.
> The French do not like winners unless it comes after at
> least some hardship and even then they may have to wait
> until after their demise. Anquetiel was not really honored
> or "beloved" until after he died.
Not so, that "shocking" new book states otherwise!
Automatic Translations (Powered by
):
vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by
vBSEO 3.3.0 -
TalkFinance.net 
