Summary of Lance Excuses
View Full Version : Summary of Lance Excuses
Current Excuses:
1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
Chris C. and various rbr personas]
4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today
means nothing.
Standby Excuses:
5. Rear brake rubbing.
6. Dehydration >15% water loss.
7. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
8. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
past few years.
9. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
10. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
11. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months using
scrapped new bike.
12. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
L'Alpe tt.
9. His socks are too high.
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:D_3yc.5155$Y3.203@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
SWEET!
B. Lafferty wrote:
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
>
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:A84yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> 9. His socks are too high.
>
You're enjoying this aren't you Brian?
Jeff
"Armstrong's coach Chris Carmichael recently called Lance "the master of
psychological warfare" and his less than all-out performance on the Ventoux
, just measured out enough to test himself but not go "au bloc", could fool
his adversaries into thinking that Lance was in trouble. But with forty days
still to go before the Tour De France's crucial l'Alpe d'Huez mountain time
trial, Armstrong must still be considered the overwhelming favourite to
win."
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:D_3yc.5155$Y3.203@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
B. Lafferty wrote:
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
9. New TT bars position (again)
"Jeff Jones" <jeff@cyclingnews-punt-com> wrote in message
news:40c8d246$0$8395$a0ced6e1@news.skynet.be...
>
> "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:A8-
> 4yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> > 9. His socks are too high.
> >
> You're enjoying this aren't you Brian?
>
> Jeff
Of course. And really, those socks are way too high. Next
thing you know he'll need executive garters to keep them up.
I'll bet it cost him 4 seconds in added drag.
Lance will stuff your email you know where when he wins the 2004 Tour de
France .....
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:D_3yc.5155$Y3.203@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
Since Sheryl has come up, my theory is this....
She has been very specifically placed in LA's life by
Ullrich. When Ullrich powers away from LA in the Tour, upon
LA's arrival on the mnt top finish, Sheryl will be standing
there waiting on LA; however, she will be in the arms of
Ullrich and on his other arm, LA's former wife. His kids---
all wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys--running around Ullrich
calling him "Daddy"!!!
Mark my words...this will happen...
B. Lafferty wrote:
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
>
5. Less determined [But when I heard the gap between me and
Mayo, I didn't really slow down but I was less
determined.]
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:D_3yc.5155$Y3.203@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> schreef in bericht
news:D_3yc.5155$Y3.203@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
9. He forgot to eat (Joux-Plane 2000)
Benjo Maso
"Hank Sniadoch" <sniadoch@bluefrog.biz> wrote in message
news:caak0m0c0l@enews1.newsguy.com...
> Lance will stuff your email you know where when he wins
> the 2004 Tour de France .....
>
Oh yeah! And my six year old will kick him in his remaining
nut. So there!!
"There's no pretending on the Ventoux." -Lance Armstrong
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:D_3yc.5155$Y3.203@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> Current Excuses:
> 1. He wasn't going "au bloc." (per Chris C.)
> 2. He had a bad day. (per Iban & Tyler)
> 3. He was using psychological warfare (rope-a-doping) [per
> Chris C. and various rbr personas]
> 4. He won't be peaking until the Alpo in July. Today means
> nothing.
>
> Standby Excuses:
> 1. Rear brake rubbing.
> 2. Dehydration >15% water loss.
> 3. Saddle sore necessitating cortisone butt cream.
> 4. Team not as strong with loss of Heras et al. over the
> past few years.
> 5. Maximum loss in TTT limited to 2min. 30 sec.
> 6. Aero helmet not aero enough due to new UCI rule.
> 7. Trouble adjusting back to old tt bike after months
> using scrapped new bike.
> 8. Sheryl injures remaining viable nut 48hrs prior to
> L'Alpe tt.
> She has been very specifically placed in LA's life by
> Ullrich. When Ullrich powers away from LA in the Tour,
> upon LA's arrival on the mnt top finish, Sheryl will be
> standing there waiting on LA; however, she will be in the
> arms of Ullrich and on his other arm, LA's former wife.
> His kids---all wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys--running
> around Ullrich calling him "Daddy"!!!
So Lance retaliates and snags Catherine Zeta Jones (T-
Mobile spokeswoman, for the few who don't know). Who's
the fool now?
--Mike Jacoubowsky Chain Reaction Bicycles
www.ChainReaction.com IMBA, BikesBelong, NBDA member
"Mike Jacoubowsky/Chain Reaction Bicycles" <MikeJ@ChainReaction.com> wrote
in message news:eF5yc.339$R92.101@newssvr27.news.prodigy.com...
> > She has been very specifically placed in LA's life by
> > Ullrich. When Ullrich powers away from LA in the Tour,
> > upon LA's arrival on the mnt top finish, Sheryl will be
> > standing there waiting on LA; however, she will be in
> > the arms of Ullrich and on his other arm, LA's former
> > wife. His kids---all wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys--
> > running around Ullrich calling him "Daddy"!!!
>
> So Lance retaliates and snags Catherine Zeta Jones (T-
> Mobile spokeswoman, for the few who don't know). Who's the
> fool now?
And Michael Douglas has Armstrong whacked in the legs.
B. Lafferty <Magni@Italia.com> wrote:
> "Hank Sniadoch" <sniadoch@bluefrog.biz> wrote in message
> news:caak0m0c0l@enews1.newsguy.com...
>> Lance will stuff your email you know where when he wins
>> the 2004 Tour de France .....
>>
> Oh yeah! And my six year old will kick him in his
> remaining nut. So there!!
You mean: He'll bite his remaining nut. Keep it physically
realistic.
"Clovis Lark" <clark@steel.ucs.indiana.edu> wrote in message
news:caapr8$jqf$3@hood.uits.indiana.edu...
> B. Lafferty <Magni@Italia.com> wrote:
>
> > "Hank Sniadoch" <sniadoch@bluefrog.biz> wrote in message
> > news:caak0m0c0l@enews1.newsguy.com...
> >> Lance will stuff your email you know where when he wins
> >> the 2004 Tour
de
> >> France .....
> >>
> > Oh yeah! And my six year old will kick him in his
> > remaining nut. So there!!
>
> You mean: He'll bite his remaining nut. Keep it physically
> realistic.
No she won't! But, if one had a 25 year old daughter, that
could present an interesting moral issue for a parent who is
not a Lance tifosi.
> > > She has been very specifically placed in LA's life by
> > > Ullrich. When Ullrich powers away from LA in the Tour,
> > > upon LA's arrival on the mnt top finish, Sheryl will
> > > be standing there waiting on LA; however, she will be
> > > in the arms of Ullrich and on his other arm, LA's
> > > former wife. His kids---all wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys--
> > > running around Ullrich calling him "Daddy"!!!
> >
> > So Lance retaliates and snags Catherine Zeta Jones (T-
> > Mobile
spokeswoman,
> > for the few who don't know). Who's the fool now?
>
> And Michael Douglas has Armstrong whacked in the legs.
...thus completing the cycle. Eddy gets punched in the liver
(supposedly hastening the end of his career) and Armstrong
has his legs whacked. Still, as the ad says, Lance would
"get more." I've heard of worse trades.
--Mike Jacoubowsky Chain Reaction Bicycles
www.ChainReaction.com IMBA, BikesBelong, NBDA member
"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:A84yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> > Current Excuses: Standby Excuses:
If it was anyone but Armstrong being beaten you'd be
telling us that it was all because of drugs. Now it would
appear that you believe that at least Mayo is a pure as the
driven snow.
Snow? You DO know a lot about that I'd warrant.
"Tom Kunich" <cyclintom@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:%p6yc.1009$Wr.619@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:A8-
> 4yc.5165$Y3.3523@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
> > > Current Excuses: Standby Excuses:
>
> If it was anyone but Armstrong being beaten you'd be
> telling us that it
was
> all because of drugs. Now it would appear that you believe
> that at least Mayo is a pure as the driven snow.
If we dressed you in drag, you could pass for Gracie Allen.
>
> Snow? You DO know a lot about that I'd warrant.
Tell us what you know about Snow, sweetie.
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