New cycling disease

[Just Zis Guy]

<url:http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk/web/public.nsf/Documents/Upritis>

/Upritis Nonbentii/ is a newly recognised condition
affecting certain cyclists. The symptoms include:

- wrist pain
- shoulder pain
- neck pain
- back pain
- saddle sores

A number of palliative measures have been produced over the
years, including gel gloves and gel saddles, but these have
only ever served to mask the symptoms, not cure the problem.

New research from the University of Falmouth has shown that
a permanent cure can be effected. There are a few mild side
effects, such as inane grins and the tendency to utter
"rebel yells" when travelling downhill, but those treated in
the main report complete satisfaction (except when climbing
long hills) and no return of their symptoms.

The cure employs /vehiculus humanpower recumbenti/, a naturally-
occuring orthotic isolated and refined by a number of
craft natural remedy companies. By replacing the
traditional upwrong bicycle with one of these devices, and
after a short period of adjustment for the growth of new
"bent leg muscless", the rider is left with no recurrence
of former problems.

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after
posting. http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk (http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk/)

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at
Washington University

[Fabrizio Mazzol]

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <outlook.bugs@microsoft.com> wrote in message news:ul9ae056m5ge9bp69km060qsj6r87bjsd9@4ax.com...
>
> The cure employs /vehiculus humanpower recumbenti/, a naturally-
> occuring orthotic isolated and refined by a number of
> craft natural remedy companies. By replacing the
> traditional upwrong bicycle with one of these devices, and
> after a short period of adjustment for the growth of new
> "bent leg muscless", the rider is left with no recurrence
> of former problems.

Those types are what are known as 'gimps', best just to stay
far away from them.

Find a real group of cyclists, and soon you will forget
about those sad people.

[Robert Haston]

LOL

You forgot the psychosocial side effects: Laid back,
looking upward, hands casually draped over bars forces
rider into a befriending position not normally seen in
society since television and air conditioning eliminated
the front porch glider.

Hence, rider finds himself in unexpectedly pleasant
predicament of receiving and giving twice or more as many
friendly waves and greetings as he once gave from the
hunched over "boxing stance" of a road cyclist.

What we have yet to explain though is the threefold
reduction in harassment by motorists. Some plausible
hypothesis are:

1. Novelty of recumbent orthotic device distracts angry
motorists.
2. Not waiving one's hind quarters at drivers insults
them less.
3. More friendly position is returned in kind.
4. Higher speed of recumbent transport results in less
diver frustration.

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <outlook.bugs@microsoft.com> wrote
in message
news:ul9ae056m5ge9bp69km060qsj6r87bjsd9@4ax.com...
> <url:http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk/web/public.nsf/Docum-
> ents/Upritis>
>
> /Upritis Nonbentii/ is a newly recognised condition
> affecting certain cyclists. The symptoms include:
>
> - wrist pain
> - shoulder pain
> - neck pain
> - back pain
> - saddle sores
>
> A number of palliative measures have been produced over
> the years, including gel gloves and gel saddles, but these
> have only ever served to mask the symptoms, not cure the
> problem.
>
> New research from the University of Falmouth has shown
> that a permanent cure can be effected. There are a few
> mild side effects, such as inane grins and the tendency to
> utter "rebel yells" when travelling downhill, but those
> treated in the main report complete satisfaction (except
> when climbing long hills) and no return of their symptoms.
>
> The cure employs /vehiculus humanpower recumbenti/, a naturally-
> occuring orthotic isolated and refined by a number of
> craft natural remedy companies. By replacing the
> traditional upwrong bicycle with one of these devices, and
> after a short period of adjustment for the growth of new
> "bent leg muscless", the rider is left with no recurrence
> of former problems.
>
> Guy
> --
> May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle
> after posting. http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk (http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk/)
>
> 88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at
> Washington University

[Sticker Jim]

"Fabrizio Mazzoleni" <chipomarc@lfdd.ca> wrote in message
news:RdmFc.3572$P7.2138@pd7tw3no...
>
> "Just zis Guy, you know?" <outlook.bugs@microsoft.com>
> wrote in message
news:ul9ae056m5ge9bp69km060qsj6r87bjsd9@4ax.com...
> >
> > The cure employs /vehiculus humanpower recumbenti/, a
> > naturally-occuring orthotic isolated and refined by a
> > number of craft natural remedy companies. By replacing
> > the traditional upwrong bicycle with one of these
> > devices, and after a short period of adjustment for the
> > growth of new "bent leg muscless", the rider is left
> > with no recurrence of former problems.
>
> Those types are what are known as 'gimps', best just to
> stay far away from them. ^^^^^^

You obviously mean the ones riding the up-wrongs, right?

> Find a real group of cyclists, and soon you will forget
> about those sad people.

Uh, Fablioso, this IS about REAL riders on REAL bikes and
not the imaginary ramblings of wanna-be's . . . like you :)

Please though, do tell us of another team and another race
where there is absolutely no mention of you . . . at all . .
. again (or should that be "still"?)