Roadie or Veteran?

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You’re a roadie if:
You can identify bugs by their taste.
You not only know the phone number for your local bike shop by heart, but can usually hum along with the music they play when they put you on hold.
You meet a beautiful girl dressed in skin-tight spandex and one of the first ten words out of your mouth is either "Shimano" or "Campagnolo."
Your entire knowledge of French consists of phrases like "maillot jaune", "lantern rouge", and "peleton".
You find yourself noticing, (and being irritated by), one or more of the following about other riders:
- cadence too low
- seat post too low
- frame too large
- old components
You've ever used a bit of roadie slang around family or coworkers who have no idea what you're talking about. You know, "I would have finished-up that project last night, but I bonked hard at 11:00."
You find yourself trying to disengage your clipless pedals when moving your foot off the clutch in your car.
If you point out obstacles in the road while driving your car.
If you scare passengers in your car by yelling "braking!' at red lights.
Your most expensive clothes say Pearl Izumi on them.
You know your max heart rate but not your IQ.
If the value of your bikes is greater than the value of your car.
You've been asked not to return to an 'all you can eat' restaurant.
You can build up three bikes from all the parts lying around your house.
You have more wheels than suits.
You flunked high school chemistry yet you can discuss EPO and its implications convincingly with a pulmonologist.
You have bookmarked more cycling related websites than nudie websites.
You have ever used tubular cement for household repairs.
You have ever been driving the car and reached down for your waterbottle.
You wear Briko Stingers in public....while OFF of the bike....
You think that the 4 major food groups are Power Bar, Cytomax, Gatorade, and fig newtons.
You think that riding a mountain bike can lead to the abuse of harder drugs....
You think that Phil Liggett should be nominated for the Edgar R. Murrow Award.
You think that Christopher Columbus was named after the tubing company.
You can remember Campagnolo part numbers, but not your anniversary date.
You find yourself grasping the handle of a shopping cart as if it were the brake-hoods of your bike.
You have Colorado Cyclist catalogs instead of Playboy in the bathroom.
You are reading this.

Or are you really a Veteran, (Masters?)?:
You reach your Max. Heart Rate pumping up your tyres,
You only use the 12 sprocket to take the wheel out,
You stop shaving your legs, but start shaving your neck, ears, nose, eyebrows,
The nearest you get to a racing position is when you put on your shoes,
Your racing jerseys need letting out at the waist,
Your new $6,000 bike is slower than the one you bought in 1975,
You spend more time cleaning your bike than riding it,
You start telling passing riders your medical history,
Riders warming up pass you when you are racing,
You have lost your sprint because you can't see the marker flags,
By the time you finish a race, the prizes have been presented,
You can quote Tour de France results from Anquetil's victories,
Attractive young women cyclists are your friend's daughters,
You can't talk to young blokes when riding because of oxygen debt,
You spend so many days recuperating that there are no days left to train,
And, you’re looking forward to getting older, because the next age category is even slower than your present one.

You’re a roadie if:
You can identify bugs by their taste.
You not only know the phone number for your local bike shop by heart, but can usually hum along with the music they play when they put you on hold.
You meet a beautiful girl dressed in skin-tight spandex and one of the first ten words out of your mouth is either "Shimano" or "Campagnolo."
Your entire knowledge of French consists of phrases like "maillot jaune", "lantern rouge", and "peleton".
You find yourself noticing, (and being irritated by), one or more of the following about other riders:
- cadence too low
- seat post too low
- frame too large
- old components
You've ever used a bit of roadie slang around family or coworkers who have no idea what you're talking about. You know, "I would have finished-up that project last night, but I bonked hard at 11:00."
You find yourself trying to disengage your clipless pedals when moving your foot off the clutch in your car.
If you point out obstacles in the road while driving your car.
If you scare passengers in your car by yelling "braking!' at red lights.
Your most expensive clothes say Pearl Izumi on them.
You know your max heart rate but not your IQ.
If the value of your bikes is greater than the value of your car.
You've been asked not to return to an 'all you can eat' restaurant.
You can build up three bikes from all the parts lying around your house.
You have more wheels than suits.
You flunked high school chemistry yet you can discuss EPO and its implications convincingly with a pulmonologist.
You have bookmarked more cycling related websites than nudie websites.
You have ever used tubular cement for household repairs.
You have ever been driving the car and reached down for your waterbottle.
You wear Briko Stingers in public....while OFF of the bike....
You think that the 4 major food groups are Power Bar, Cytomax, Gatorade, and fig newtons.
You think that riding a mountain bike can lead to the abuse of harder drugs....
You think that Phil Liggett should be nominated for the Edgar R. Murrow Award.
You think that Christopher Columbus was named after the tubing company.
You can remember Campagnolo part numbers, but not your anniversary date.
You find yourself grasping the handle of a shopping cart as if it were the brake-hoods of your bike.
You have Colorado Cyclist catalogs instead of Playboy in the bathroom.
You are reading this.

Or are you really a Veteran, (Masters?)?:
You reach your Max. Heart Rate pumping up your tyres,
You only use the 12 sprocket to take the wheel out,
You stop shaving your legs, but start shaving your neck, ears, nose, eyebrows,
The nearest you get to a racing position is when you put on your shoes,
Your racing jerseys need letting out at the waist,
Your new $6,000 bike is slower than the one you bought in 1975,
You spend more time cleaning your bike than riding it,
You start telling passing riders your medical history,
Riders warming up pass you when you are racing,
You have lost your sprint because you can't see the marker flags,
By the time you finish a race, the prizes have been presented,
You can quote Tour de France results from Anquetil's victories,
Attractive young women cyclists are your friend's daughters,
You can't talk to young blokes when riding because of oxygen debt,
You spend so many days recuperating that there are no days left to train,
And, you’re looking forward to getting older, because the next age category is even slower than your present one.


Classic stuff, I can relate to that lot? G7's

Keep the wheels in motion?

Don't look back unless, it's to see who you dropped on the last climb? TBC