Transition: The online triathlon adventure novel
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I'm in the process of writing a novel entitled "Transition,"
in which my two main characters are triathletes. I'm
interested in feedback from anyone who'd care to share their
opinions -- and I'm *especially* interested in feedback from
triathletes, which is why I'm posting this note here.
The website for the novel is:
http://www.WebFeats.com/Transition/
And the accompanying blog (where I hope you leave your
comments) is online at:
http://Mishkoff.TypePad.com/transition/
I've "competed" (and I use that term loosely) in a couple of
triathlons, but they were both "sprint" distance (although
in my case it was more of a slog than a sprint), and the
triathlons in my book are Ironman distance. So I'm hoping
that those of you who have experience with races longer than
the ones in which I've participated will be able to let me
know whether the action in my book is plausible, improbable,
impossible, interesting, boring, etc.
I'm posting chapters on the site as they're ready. The novel
will include three races, the first one is in progress when
the book starts, so you won't have to read very far to get
into the triathlon action.
In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that,
despite the subtitle, I don't necessarily consider
"Transition" to be a "triathlon novel" (if such a genre
exists). It's more of an adventure story, and a story about
the changes that two people go through. But as I said, the
two main characters are triathletes, and the story begins
and ends with triathlons (and there's another one in the
middle) -- so at least getting close to the feeling of real
Ironman-distance races is important to me. Which, of course,
is why I'm hoping for some feedback from you folks.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you -- and thanks, in
advance, for your help!
(If this topic sounds familiar to some of you, that's
because I started this project about a year ago, but
abandoned it for lack of time and motivation. I have more
time now, and I'm hoping that feedback via the blog will
help keep me motivated.)
Hank Mishkoff <Hank@WebFeats.com> wrote in
news:qr4fv1h302css8rgeoeu0i4diki04hl1oq@4ax.com:
> and I'm *especially* interested in feedback from
> triathletes, which is why I'm posting this note here.
>
Are you looking for comments as to accuracy on the triathlon parts of the
book?
In the first chapter, Jillian is supposed to a a contender in the race,
intent on chasing down the twins, evidently because she is weaker than they
are on the bike, but can make up 25 minutes on the run. In those
circumstances, her conversation with her coach Jago would have taken place
on the run. The only way she would have been stopped that long is if she
was in the "penalty booth" which is used at some races to enforce the
drafting penalty, or if she had crashed when she swerved to miss that
runner and was dazed and trying to decide if she could continue. Even in
the latter scenario, she would have been up and running faster than the
time allowed in that conversation.
She would not have ridden her bike all the way to the rack, there's a
dismount line she would have been required to stop at.
Is that the sort of feedback you're looking for?
Cool project, looks promising.
Your online book doesn't display properly in Mozilla. All of the
quotes, apostrophes, and periods show up as little question mark icons
instead of the correct punctuation symbol.
Looks like an interesting read, but the font errors are too
distracting. Of course I could use IE, but I'm lazy and don't want to
switch browsers just so I can read one website. For what it's worth,
the page displays properly in Opera too, so it seems to be a
Mozilla-only issue. Still, you might want to troubleshoot it so you can
support a wider audience.
Chris
Hank Mishkoff wrote:
>> I don't necessarily consider
>>"Transition" to be a "triathlon novel" (if such a genre
>>exists).
It most surely does. The first GB Triathlon coach and Team Manager,
Steve Trew has written a number of books that are available in
hardcopy.
His latest was back in 2001, Triathlon: A Moment of Suffering
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0954088603/qid=1140393221/sr=8-3/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i3_xgl/203-9177878-8651137
Before that: Triathlon!: A Long Days Dying
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0951622102/qid=1140393221/sr=8-2/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i2_xgl/203-9177878-8651137
and before that in 1989, Triathlon: The Skills of the Game
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1852231882/qid=1140393221/sr=8-4/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl/203-9177878-8651137
None of these were training manuals, although each in its own way
contained some of Steves legendary intelligent approach to multisport
competition.
The book idea sounds great, good luck to you. Let me know when it is
done so that I can buy a copy and read it. I like the message of the
"long haul" of the relationship/ironman idea.
I have lots of stories to share with you.
Slightly off topic:
I recently dreamed that I forgot my bike shoes during my
triathlon/ironman race. I also forgot my nutritional drinks and gels.
There were chairs in the isles in the way of my bike. And I was swimming
in the River Thames, it was muddy water, and up current.
Do they even have Ironman races along the Thames?
The next morning I went swimming before work. I realized after swimming
that I forgot my shoes and had to wear my wet sloshy thongs. Note to
self: "Wear your normal shoes to the pool so you KNOW that you have a
pair of dry shoes to walk around in after."
Hank Mishkoff wrote:
> I'm in the process of writing a novel entitled "Transition,"
> in which my two main characters are triathletes. I'm
> interested in feedback from anyone who'd care to share their
> opinions -- and I'm *especially* interested in feedback from
> triathletes, which is why I'm posting this note here.
>
> The website for the novel is:
>
> http://www.WebFeats.com/Transition/
>
> And the accompanying blog (where I hope you leave your
> comments) is online at:
>
> http://Mishkoff.TypePad.com/transition/
>
> I've "competed" (and I use that term loosely) in a couple of
> triathlons, but they were both "sprint" distance (although
> in my case it was more of a slog than a sprint), and the
> triathlons in my book are Ironman distance. So I'm hoping
> that those of you who have experience with races longer than
> the ones in which I've participated will be able to let me
> know whether the action in my book is plausible, improbable,
> impossible, interesting, boring, etc.
>
> I'm posting chapters on the site as they're ready. The novel
> will include three races, the first one is in progress when
> the book starts, so you won't have to read very far to get
> into the triathlon action.
>
> In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that,
> despite the subtitle, I don't necessarily consider
> "Transition" to be a "triathlon novel" (if such a genre
> exists). It's more of an adventure story, and a story about
> the changes that two people go through. But as I said, the
> two main characters are triathletes, and the story begins
> and ends with triathlons (and there's another one in the
> middle) -- so at least getting close to the feeling of real
> Ironman-distance races is important to me. Which, of course,
> is why I'm hoping for some feedback from you folks.
>
> I'm looking forward to hearing from you -- and thanks, in
> advance, for your help!
>
> (If this topic sounds familiar to some of you, that's
> because I started this project about a year ago, but
> abandoned it for lack of time and motivation. I have more
> time now, and I'm hoping that feedback via the blog will
> help keep me motivated.)
triathlete wrote:
>
<snip>
> I recently dreamed that I forgot my bike shoes during my
> triathlon/ironman race. I also forgot my nutritional drinks and gels.
> There were chairs in the isles in the way of my bike. And I was swimming
> in the River Thames, it was muddy water, and up current.
>
> Do they even have Ironman races along the Thames?
<snip>
Ew! Dear God, I hope not!
I forgot my gel flask once, before a half ironman. Fortunately I had
another 4 or 5 in my bag.
Tam
Tamyka Bell wrote:
> triathlete wrote:
> Ew! Dear God, I hope not!
>
> I forgot my gel flask once, before a half ironman. Fortunately I had
> another 4 or 5 in my bag.
I too have forgotten my nutrition - in the car, which was parked very
far away from the race.
I have also mixed my drinks wrong and suffered greatly for this mistake.
Tamyka Bell wrote:
> triathlete wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
>>I recently dreamed that I forgot my bike shoes during my
>>triathlon/ironman race. I also forgot my nutritional drinks and gels.
>>There were chairs in the isles in the way of my bike. And I was swimming
>>in the River Thames, it was muddy water, and up current.
>>
>>Do they even have Ironman races along the Thames?
>
> <snip>
>
> Ew! Dear God, I hope not!
Why not ? The Thames is "clean" :-)
Two major Oly distance triathlons are held in the Thames
- Windsor, which for the last few years has been voted triathlon
of the year by readers of 220 magazine
- London, arguably the biggest traithlon in world (depending on who
is you beleive it is either this or Chicago) takes place in
docks which are fed by the waters of the Thames.
Doug
Douglas Steel wrote:
> Why not ? The Thames is "clean" :-)
>
> Two major Oly distance triathlons are held in the Thames
> - Windsor, which for the last few years has been voted triathlon
> of the year by readers of 220 magazine
> - London, arguably the biggest traithlon in world (depending on who
> is you beleive it is either this or Chicago) takes place in
> docks which are fed by the waters of the Thames.
Hey, thanks for that knowledge!
>> I don't necessarily consider "Transition" to be a "triathlon
>> novel" (if such a genre exists).
> It most surely does. The first GB Triathlon coach and Team Manager,
> Steve Trew has written a number of books that are available in
> hardcopy.
That is so cool, thanks! I'll definitely have to look around
the Net and see if I can figure out how to get in touch with
him. (And it looks like I won't be able to bill my book as
the *first* triathlon novel...)
Hank Mishkoff wrote:
> That is so cool, thanks! I'll definitely have to look around
> the Net and see if I can figure out how to get in touch with
> him. (And it looks like I won't be able to bill my book as
> the *first* triathlon novel...)
Hank, if you want to email me offline I can let you have Steves email
address. He will currently be in Australia coaching/manager for the
Welsh Triathlon team for the Commonwealth Games triathlon on March 18th
> She would not have ridden her bike all the way
> to the rack, there's a dismount line she would
> have been required to stop at.
You're the second person who's pointed that out to me, and I should
have remembered from the races I've been in. (Doh!) Thanks for jogging
(so to speak) my memory. I'll have to go back and revise that chapter.
Also, you point out a problem in the scene where Jill has a discussion
with her coach in th bike-run transition area. I know it's improbable,
but I want to make sure it's not impossible. Let's say that she's
slightly dazed so she's moving slowly, and let's say her slot in the
bike rack is near the fence, and of course her coach is standing on the
other side of the fence waiting for her. He's expecting her to be in
and out in a flash, but she's moving very slowly, so they have time for
a two-minute conversation -- during which, of course, he repeatedly
urges her to move faster. Is that scenario possible? Again, improbable
is OK, but I'd like to stay away from the impossible as much as...
well, as much as possible... :)
And yes, thanks, that's *exactly* the kind of feedback I'm looking for,
both here and in the blog. (The novel itself is online at
http://www.WebFeats.com/Transition/, the blog is at
http://Mishkoff.typepad.com/transition/).
> Your online book doesn't display properly in Mozilla.
> All of the quotes, apostrophes, and periods show up
> as little question mark icons instead of the correct
> punctuation symbol.
Thanks for the tip! It's my fault, I copied-and-pasted from Word, which
uses non-standard characters for "curly" quotes, apostrophes, and
ellipses. I like the way they look, and I noticed that they displayed
correctly in IE, so I figured that they would display correctly in all
browsers. Obviously a foolish assumption on my part. I'll let you know
when I've corrected the problem so you can give the book another try.
> Hank, if you want to email me offline I can let you have
> Steves email address. He will currently be in Australia
> coaching/manager for the Welsh Triathlon team for the
> Commonwealth Games triathlon on March 18th
Thanks -- I was able to track down his email address on the Web, and
we've exchanged notes. He did mention that he was in Australia, he said
he'd take a look at my book project when he gets back. It's great to
be in touch with someone who's already written a triathlon novel -- as
a pioneer I'm sure he'll be able to give me lots of useful information.
Thanks for the info!
<snip>
> Also, you point out a problem in the scene where Jill has a discussion
> with her coach in th bike-run transition area. I know it's improbable,
> but I want to make sure it's not impossible. Let's say that she's
> slightly dazed so she's moving slowly, and let's say her slot in the
> bike rack is near the fence, and of course her coach is standing on the
> other side of the fence waiting for her. He's expecting her to be in
> and out in a flash, but she's moving very slowly, so they have time for
> a two-minute conversation -- during which, of course, he repeatedly
> urges her to move faster. Is that scenario possible? Again, improbable
> is OK, but I'd like to stay away from the impossible as much as...
> well, as much as possible... :)
<snip>
I suppose that depends on the size of the triathlon and the transition
area. One of my friends got confused and flustered during her first
triathlon and the coach talked her through transition from the fence,
although it was for less than a minute.
Tam
Tamyka Bell <t.bell@uq.edu.au> wrote in news:441E1C85.BD0E95AF@uq.edu.au:
> I suppose that depends on the size of the triathlon and the transition
> area. One of my friends got confused and flustered during her first
> triathlon and the coach talked her through transition from the fence,
> although it was for less than a minute.
>
> Tam
>
I still think that a pro who's in second place in an ironman stopping to
talk with her coach for more than a few seconds borders on impossible.
Unless she's thinking about dropping out, and the coach talks her out of
it.
One easy way to pull this off would be to stick her in the "sin bin" to sit
out a 5 minute drafting penalty.
Another note, the coach would not be allowed inside the transition area,
only athletes and race staff get in there. The conversation could still
take place next to the fence, as Tam pointed out. The penalty box is
typically next to a fence as well.
Tom
Tom Henderson wrote:
>
> Tamyka Bell <t.bell@uq.edu.au> wrote in news:441E1C85.BD0E95AF@uq.edu.au:
>
> > I suppose that depends on the size of the triathlon and the transition
> > area. One of my friends got confused and flustered during her first
> > triathlon and the coach talked her through transition from the fence,
> > although it was for less than a minute.
> >
> > Tam
> >
>
> I still think that a pro who's in second place in an ironman stopping to
> talk with her coach for more than a few seconds borders on impossible.
> Unless she's thinking about dropping out, and the coach talks her out of
> it.
>
> One easy way to pull this off would be to stick her in the "sin bin" to sit
> out a 5 minute drafting penalty.
>
> Another note, the coach would not be allowed inside the transition area,
> only athletes and race staff get in there. The conversation could still
> take place next to the fence, as Tam pointed out. The penalty box is
> typically next to a fence as well.
>
> Tom
Actually, penalty box is a great idea - she knows what she's doing and
has been busted drafting when maybe she was, maybe she wasn't, and her
time is going down the drain so she wants to give up.
Although in Australia, pros are allowed to draft, is that not the same
elsewhere?
Tam
Tom Henderson wrote:
> Tamyka Bell <t.bell@uq.edu.au> wrote in news:441E1C85.BD0E95AF@uq.edu.au:
>
> > I suppose that depends on the size of the triathlon and the transition
> > area. One of my friends got confused and flustered during her first
> > triathlon and the coach talked her through transition from the fence,
> > although it was for less than a minute.
> >
> > Tam
> >
>
> I still think that a pro who's in second place in an ironman stopping to
> talk with her coach for more than a few seconds borders on impossible.
> Unless she's thinking about dropping out, and the coach talks her out of
> it.
I didn't read the draft, but just following the discussion would
observe that especially in an IM race outside assistance is monitored
and penalised. Spencer Smith was DQ'd a couple of IMH back for dual
penalties of discarding equipment and outside assistance when his wife
ran alongside him for a short distance...
> I didn't read the draft, but just following the discussion
> would observe that especially in an IM race outside
> assistance is monitored and penalised.
But if the athlete is in the transition area and the "assistance" is
her coach talking to her from the other side of the fence, that
wouldn't result in a penalty, would it?
> Your online book doesn't display properly in Mozilla.
> All of the quotes, apostrophes, and periods show up
> as little question mark icons instead of the correct
> punctuation symbol.
OK, I've finally corrected the problem, you should now be able to read
the book in *any* browser (he says, crossing his fingers...). Thanks
again for alerting me to the problem.
As a reminder, the novel is online at
http://www.WebFeats.com/Transition/
And the blog (which includes a post about this "font" issue, BTW) is at
http://Mishkoff.typepad.com/transition
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