Tossers

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I'm out the other morning comming home from a nice ride about 6.30am (so it's a little chilly) and a car drives past me with three inbreds in it. Inbred number three in the back seat thinks it would be a good idea to throw a banana milk out at me. The reason I know it's banana milk is because it missed me by a flys dick, but a couple of drops managed to get me on the lips....mmmmmmm.

Then comming home from a a big Sunday ride yesterday, a female numnuts thought it would be funny to get as close as she could with her car (going about 80km) and do the complusory horn blow.

It got me thinking....I was wondering what sorts of things get thrown at riders (besides abuse) when out minding there own business?

In my experience, the culprits tend to belong to a certain age group. We have never had anything thrown at us, but lots of things yelled at us.

My favourite is the guy who leant out of his car and yelled "rissoles" - I still have no idea whether this was meant to be an insult or he thought we were vegans and the mere mention of a meat product would cause us to fall off our bikes in shock.

We have had a number of close passes from passing vehicles but I'm not sure whether that is due to the fact that they are being idiots or the fact that we ride on a fairly narrow rural road.

Year before last on one of our club rides, passenger decides to hang his arm out the window and slap a bike rider. Result: bike rider gets a broken arm and (not so) free trip to hospital, culprits speed off back to Brissy. Coppers were not especially interested - didn't actually trip over the offenders so it goes into the too hard basket (now!! if they had stolen money from the Government or a bank there'd be a task force setup to catch them).

I'm out the other morning comming home from a nice ride about 6.30am (so it's a little chilly) and a car drives past me with three inbreds in it. Inbred number three in the back seat thinks it would be a good idea to throw a banana milk out at me. The reason I know it's banana milk is because it missed me by a flys dick, but a couple of drops managed to get me on the lips....mmmmmmm.

Then comming home from a a big Sunday ride yesterday, a female numnuts thought it would be funny to get as close as she could with her car (going about 80km) and do the complusory horn blow.

It got me thinking....I was wondering what sorts of things get thrown at riders (besides abuse) when out minding there own business?==========================================================
This sort of thing hardly ever happens to me now - but when it does I'm basically ready for them because I have a HELMET MIRROR and so wave and smile or move off the road etc. It's been a life saver a few times.

A friend got punched in the back by a young looser. My friend recognised the car and visited the offender's mother. They waited for him to come home to receive a stern talking to from mother and friend.

I got hit in the helmet/head(thankfully my Giro Eclipse - not so many holes for the ice cream to go through!) by an ice cream. Forgotten the flavour.

Once on a group ride we went over some cow dung. A piece flung up and hit me on the cheek. I wiped etc it off but could smell it all the way home:)

I heard of a guy who had a disposable(not like us - we only use non disposable, cotton/velcro nappies on our little guys) nappy thrown at him. It was used and full of baby poo. Hit him in the head - poor guy:o .

Beer bottle hit me in the head - pre hardshell helmets.:o I did have a cotton cycling cap and a spaghetti helmet which helped but I still got a lump and bleeding cut. I was only 17. The scumbag who did it was caught(with drunk driving mate) and brought to court. Basically he got off:confused: but with his other convictions he got some community service.

I should try riding while exposing a 6" coinslot... Maybe people will throw money at me...

I should try riding while exposing a 6" coinslot... Maybe people will throw money at me...
Maybe try tucking your knicks under your seat while riding.Instant coin slot.....

Maybe the abuse etc is mainly a Brisbane/Sunshine Coast/Gold Coast thing.

hmmm... seems like people like to force feed us cyclists. by throwing things at us...
i seem to get hot fast food thrown at me.

last year i was on a midnight commute home with a friend of mine when a narky drunk irish tourist zeta-male type character thought he would show off to his friends by pushing me whilst i was stopped at the lights. i pushed him back and told him to leave me alone... he then called me a lesbian... i informed him that i obviously get more pussy than he does, his friends started laughing at him and so he had a tanty and threw a meat pie at me.
im vegetarian, and being covered in meat pie was alot more upsetting than being hassled by a f*ckstick with a small weiner. luckily my friend and his DH bike were waiting for me up the road, and i had much convincing to do that he shouldnt go down there and kick that guys arse...

a few months ago i had a pack of hot KFC chips and a potato and gravy thrown at me by a very loud and obnoxious drunk emo type guy in the back of a banged up barina... once again quite late at night. once again the shouted abuse consisted something along the lines of me being a f*cking lesbian...

these poor drunk guys... defending themselves against cyclists with hot food.

Saturday night, a fella in a car yells something at me, which is par for the course. I get past them at a red, then they go again, only this time I see the Elvis mask...that is truly disturbing, getting hassled by the King! :D

hmmm... seems like people like to force feed us cyclists. by throwing things at us...
i seem to get hot fast food thrown at me.

last year i was on a midnight commute home with a friend of mine when a narky drunk irish tourist zeta-male type character thought he would show off to his friends by pushing me whilst i was stopped at the lights. i pushed him back and told him to leave me alone... he then called me a lesbian... i informed him that i obviously get more pussy than he does, his friends started laughing at him and so he had a tanty and threw a meat pie at me.
im vegetarian, and being covered in meat pie was alot more upsetting than being hassled by a f*ckstick with a small weiner. luckily my friend and his DH bike were waiting for me up the road, and i had much convincing to do that he shouldnt go down there and kick that guys arse...

a few months ago i had a pack of hot KFC chips and a potato and gravy thrown at me by a very loud and obnoxious drunk emo type guy in the back of a banged up barina... once again quite late at night. once again the shouted abuse consisted something along the lines of me being a f*cking lesbian...

these poor drunk guys... defending themselves against cyclists with hot food.
But fauxpas is the only gay in the forum?????

But fauxpas is the only gay in the forum?????

The computer says "no".

But fauxpas is the only gay in the forum?????
thats a bit of a sweeping generalisation there... (sorry fauxpas!)
p.s. ive been called a P**fter too, by some guys in a bogan chariot... they changed their mind at the lights when they saw i had boobs :P luckily, they didnt have any hot food to throw at me.

thats a bit of a sweeping generalisation there... (sorry fauxpas!)
p.s. ive been called a P**fter too, by some guys in a bogan chariot... they changed their mind at the lights when they saw i had boobs :P luckily, they didnt have any hot food to throw at me.
hey asterope whats the jersey like

finally after sooo long

thats a bit of a sweeping generalisation there... (sorry fauxpas!)
p.s. ive been called a P**fter too, by some guys in a bogan chariot... they changed their mind at the lights when they saw i had boobs :P luckily, they didnt have any hot food to throw at me.


Bwhahahahhahaha! Had that one happen to me earlier this year while cycling down Hoddle Street. Freaking obvious, even when viewed from the back, that **You must know that I am a Lady**. Wished they'd shouted P***FTA while at the lights, I would of flashed at them. Hey chaps, look at these puppies, it's painfully obvious you don't socialise with chicks too frequently! ;)

It does seem that brisbane has its fair share of "Tossers". I have not had anything yelled at me lately, but they truely don't like it when you catch up to them at the lights.


I had a 60ish woman blow her horn at me the other week to get out of her way. When I caught up to her and asked her what the **** she thought she was doing, she replied, "I thought I was going to hit you". She was 20 + meters behind me when she blasted her horn. Was it really that or was she staring at my arse? and just had to let out a hoot? Hmmm Granny action? :p :( :eek: no thanks.

It does seem that brisbane has its fair share of "Tossers". I have not had anything yelled at me lately, but they truely don't like it when you catch up to them at the lights.


I had a 60ish woman blow her horn at me the other week to get out of her way. When I caught up to her and asked her what the **** she thought she was doing, she replied, "I thought I was going to hit you". She was 20 + meters behind me when she blasted her horn. Was it really that or was she staring at my arse? and just had to let out a hoot? Hmmm Granny action? :p :( :eek: no thanks.

You have to watch out for little old people, a lot of them seem to lose their ability to judge distance as they get older (if they ever had it) and their reflexes slow down. I can't count the number of times when driving that I've had some dear old thing slam on the brakes about 50metres from the line when the lights turn red.

on a positive note... over the years of riding, i am finding less tossers around

i also use my daggy rear vision mirror on my helmet all the time while riding... i can predict more easier what idiot comes up behind me

personally, i find staying out of sydney's outer west and south west is a good idea too

Year before last on one of our club rides, passenger decides to hang his arm out the window and slap a bike rider. Result: bike rider gets a broken arm and (not so) free trip to hospital, culprits speed off back to Brissy. Coppers were not especially interested - didn't actually trip over the offenders so it goes into the too hard basket (now!! if they had stolen money from the Government or a bank there'd be a task force setup to catch them).
Same thing happened to me a few weeks ago - said "tosser" leans out of a car window and slap me on the hip/ass :mad: (I was doing maybe 30kph on my Hybred & the car would have been doing about 100kph). Once my brain got passed the "shit! pain!" signal and started to compute what had actually happened, I realised just how lucky I was to stay in control of the bike and not come off and get seriously injured. I did pull over to regain composure - quite a shock - worst I've had before that is the ever so brave finger display or a honk and expletive.

I'd like to think that that particular tosser got a broken hand for his troubles! or that it at least hurt him as much as me - but I doubt it - not psychologically anyway..

personally, i find staying out of sydney's outer west and south west is a good idea too
From somebody who has lived west all of their life, I agree wholeheartedly.

I've had beer bottles, (full) aluminium cans, eggs, rocks, and bricks thrown at me. They've all missed so far, but in attempting to dodge one brick thrown from the footpath, I'd lost most of the skin down the right hand side of my arms, shoulder, and thighs after falling off. Cracked the brain bucket in doing so as well.

Last night, I was almost taken out by an idiot in a ute who attempted to run me over at an intersection at 8pm last night. He was waiting to do a right hander, as I came down the hill in the other direction (flashing like a christmas tree - I use no less than 7 different lights front and back), and hesitated as I approached the intersection. Just as I entered, the pr!ck decides to accelerate and misses me by about half a metre.

Didn't get a rego number, and the police at the Liverpool cop shop down the road (politely) told me to fob off because "this sort of incident is a low priority."

Mornings aren't so bad, but nights are plain shit. I think after last night, I'll be sticking to the M7 and the T-way for night riding, and otherwise use the car at night.

n