View Full Version : Another Limeric
There was a young cyclist called Helen Whose maternal bosom was swellin' She'd break all your ribs
If she caught you in bibs, So there is just no point in rebellin'
There was a young cyclist called Guy Whose recumbent was not very high He was tearing around With
both feet off the ground But honking he dared not try
There was a young [insert noun here] called Smith Who tried to perpetuate myth That GATSOs are bad
We all think he's mad So we flamed him and just took the pith.
There was a young cyclist called Myra Who bog snorkled pools of dry cider She wouldn't go near Big
pools of beer 'Cos she hated the taste inside her
One more...
There was a young cyclist call Rich Who had a terrible itch He adjusted his bars To poke up his ****
But he farted and went in a ditch.
Your turn ...
Love and hugs from Rich x
--
Sig got lost during a reinstall
>There was a young cyclist called Helen Whose maternal bosom was swellin' She'd break all your ribs
>If she caught you in bibs, So there is just no point in rebellin'
Poet Laureate quality that is, quality ;-)
Cheers, helen s
--This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get correct one remove dependency on fame &
fortune h*$el*$$e**nd***$o$ts***i*$*$m**m$$o*n**s@$*$a$$o**l.c**$*$om$$
>There was a young cyclist called Helen Whose maternal bosom was swellin' She'd break all your ribs
>If she caught you in bibs, So there is just no point in rebellin'
Poet Laureate quality that is, quality ;-)
Cheers, helen s
--This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get correct one remove dependency on fame &
fortune h*$el*$$e**nd***$o$ts***i*$*$m**m$$o*n**s@$*$a$$o**l.c**$*$om$$
"Richard Bates" <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com... <Lots of snipped limericks>
Brilliant Rich, here's my contribution:
There was a poster named EnEm Of cyclists he knew better than them Purely to survive An off-roader
he did drive To see the Amsterdam *ladies* ahem!
Pete
>There was a young cyclist called Helen Whose maternal bosom was swellin' She'd break all your ribs
>If she caught you in bibs, So there is just no point in rebellin'
Poet Laureate quality that is, quality ;-)
Cheers, helen s
--This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get correct one remove dependency on fame &
fortune h*$el*$$e**nd***$o$ts***i*$*$m**m$$o*n**s@$*$a$$o**l.c**$*$om$$
"Richard Bates" <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com... <Lots of snipped limericks>
Brilliant Rich, here's my contribution:
There was a poster named EnEm Of cyclists he knew better than them Purely to survive An off-roader
he did drive To see the Amsterdam *ladies* ahem!
Pete
"Richard Bates" <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote in message
news:q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com... <Lots of snipped limericks>
Brilliant Rich, here's my contribution:
There was a poster named EnEm Of cyclists he knew better than them Purely to survive An off-roader
he did drive To see the Amsterdam *ladies* ahem!
Pete
On Fri, 5 Dec 2003 18:27:24 +0000 (UTC), in <q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com>, Richard
Bates <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote:
There was a young cyclist called Johnny Who couldn't fold his Brommie He unscrewed the bar And
pulled it too far And he ended to crying for mommy!
(Is there a Johnny URC regular?)
There was a young girl Helen Vecht Who couldn't fit a cassette. She started to curse But that made
it worse [now I'm stuck - HELP!]
There once was a cyclist called Simon Whose bike doubled up as a pylon He said, "Did you know" It
receives radio, But is hisses whenever I climb on.
--
Sig got lost during a reinstall
On Fri, 5 Dec 2003 18:27:24 +0000 (UTC), in <q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com>, Richard
Bates <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote:
There was a YOUNG man Sheldon Brown The best bike mechanic in town. He had a webpage Listing every
spoke gauge And his beard in colo(u)r was brown.
There was a young man Danny Collyer On his unicycle he'd follow yer With juggling clubs... And
...[stuck again]
There was a young cyclist called Jake Whose bike didn't have a back brake He said you daft pixie I'm
riding a fixie. An emergency stop I'll still make.
His brother, now he was called Jack And he only road on the track. He got out of breath If he didn't
turn left So he couldn't ride there: Only back!
There once was a cyclist called Leah Who wore only reflective gear But she got hit one night Despite
her front light And the bastard said "Sorry, didn't see yer".
--
Sig got lost during a reinstall
Richard Bates wrote:
> There was a young man Danny Collyer On his unicycle he'd follow yer With juggling clubs... And
> ...[stuck again]
And a penchant for pubs After a couple of beers he'd fly past yer
--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my reply address)
http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/ "He who dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine
And there's more
There is a poster called Herr Schmidt Who goes on about cameras a bit So much it fact I think he is
backed By an ex-politician who's a tit
Cyclists must ride on the track And give motorists their road back They've paid enough To own the
black stuff And we ride as money we lack
There was a young cyclist called Rich Who had the cycling itch 'til his seapost got nicked by
someone who's **** he would liked to have kicked He thought "life's such a *****!"
There was a psycho named Bates Whose mother had her pet hates He ran a run down motel Not a charming
hotel No relative of his urc namesakes!
(Or: Stay there and death awaits?)
Rich
Richard Bates wrote:
> On Fri, 5 Dec 2003 18:27:24 +0000 (UTC), in <q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com>, Richard
> Bates <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote:
>
> There was a YOUNG man Sheldon Brown The best bike mechanic in town. He had a webpage Listing every
> spoke gauge And his beard in colo(u)r was brown.
>
> There was a young man Danny Collyer On his unicycle he'd follow yer With juggling clubs... And
> ...[stuck again]
>
I really like these limericks These crazy, rhyming gimericks They look easy to write But try some
tonight And you'll find that the last lines are often impossible (Anon)
Tony
Richard Goodman wrote:
> There was a young cyclist called Rich
A young cyclist name of Richard Had to keep up his cycling guard So a motorist twit Didn't Richard
hit And cause him to bang his head hard.
The Limerick Cycle Club Met every night down the pub They'd peddle their tales Over lots of fine
ales Complemented with lashings of grub
Tony
Daily on uk.rec.c Gather several people and me We discuss this and that But its mainly just rubbish
Mixed in with some troll baiting glee
Tony
Richard Bates <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> writes:
> There once was a cyclist called Simon Whose bike doubled up as a pylon He said, "Did you know" It
> receives radio, But is hisses whenever I climb on.
Yes, but that's the tyres...
--
simon@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/
;; 'I think we should trust our president in every decision ;; that he makes and we should
just support that' ;; Britney Spears of George W Bush, CNN 04:09:03
On Sat, 6 Dec 2003 10:55:15 -0000, in <bqscic$267rkb$1@ID-178940.news.uni-berlin.de>, "Tony Raven"
<junk@raven-family.com> wrote:
>Daily on uk.rec.c Gather several people and me We discuss this and that But its mainly just rubbish
>Mixed in with some troll baiting glee
>
>Tony
Hey, Guy, you got room on your web server for these?
--
Sig got lost during a reinstall
On Fri, 5 Dec 2003 18:27:24 +0000 (UTC), in <q2j1tvk2b07rphvbijlmr5cih7uutb0n0g@4ax.com>, Richard
Bates <mail.sent.here.gets.deleted@cuddle.clara.co.uk> wrote:
There was a young cyclist called Jayne Who had an elastic bike chain. One surge of the cranks Took
her to france But catapulted her backwards again.
There once was a cyclist called Fred Who took his racer to bed He smeared lots of lube Inside his
seat tube And for detail I think that's 'nuff said.
--
Sig got lost during a reinstall
Bit of self parody for you.
There was an old cyclist from Brum Who rode down the tow-path for fun They told him he oughta Keep
clear of the water But this Brummie is awfully dumb.
And here's some weather stuff.
When riding to work in the rain I'm asked if it isn't a pain I say I can't get Much wetter than wet
So please do not ask me again
I went for a ride in the sun Along with my number two son The weather was hot So as far as we got
Was the pub where we popped in for one
The snow and the ice can be pretty As you cycle away from the city But remember you need To take
care of your steed The gritters are out, what a pity.
--
Cheerful pedalling John Mallard
There was a young fairy named helen who wrapped up some slabs and then fed'em to young passers by
who in bib shorts she'd spy and wrote down her thoughts and then read 'em
:-)
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