OT Yet Somwhat Appropriate For rbr

[B. Lafferty]

Sent by a cycling friend in Baton Rouge, LA:

A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles and
asked, "Mommy, are these my brains?" Mom answered, "Not
yet, honey."

[Sierraman]

"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:7rn3c.11466$%06.905@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> Sent by a cycling friend in Baton Rouge, LA:
>
>
> A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles
> and asked, "Mommy, are these my brains?" Mom answered,
> "Not yet, honey."'

You really are bored aren't you Mildred?

B-

[B. Lafferty]

"Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
news:8eSdnSRQP6OMvNPdRVn-uw@sti.net...
>
> "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:7r-
> n3c.11466$%06.905@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> > Sent by a cycling friend in Baton Rouge, LA:
> >
> >
> > A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles
> > and asked,
"Mommy,
> > are these my brains?" Mom answered, "Not yet, honey."'
>
> You really are bored aren't you Mildred?
>
> B-

Yeah. Krispy isn't racing again until the 20th. Here's
another joke for ya, Fred.

PESTCONTROL

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector
from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were
carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived
home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!" and
she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search
of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are
you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of
moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said,... "Those
little bastards

[Sierraman]

"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:smp3c.11791$%06.1928@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
>
> "Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message news:8eSdnSRQP6OMvNPdRVn-
> uw@sti.net...
> >
> > "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message news:-
> > 7rn3c.11466$%06.905@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> > > Sent by a cycling friend in Baton Rouge, LA:
> > >
> > >
> > > A three year old boy in his bath examined his
> > > testicles and asked,
> "Mommy,
> > > are these my brains?" Mom answered, "Not yet, honey."'
> >
> > You really are bored aren't you Mildred?
> >
> > B-
>
> Yeah. Krispy isn't racing again until the 20th. Here's
> another joke for
ya,
> Fred.

Krispy is going to become Crispy after he wins his sixth
TDF, or is TDL quite appropriate now? The K will change to a
C, then back to a K again in the fall. Man I must be bored
too, anybody heard from Fabi?

>
> PESTCONTROL
>
> A woman was having a passionate affair with an
> inspector from a
pest-control
> company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the
> bedroom together when her husband arrived home
> unexpectedly.
>
> "Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!"
> and she pushed
him
> in the closet, stark naked.
>
> The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search
> of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are
> you?" he asked him.
>
> "I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the
> exterminator.
>
> "What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
>
> "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of
> moths," the man replied.
>
> "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
>
> The man looked down at himself and said,... "Those little
> bastards

[B. Lafferty]

"Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
news:r9ydnVJadfpEo9Pd4p2dnA@sti.net...
> Krispy is going to become Crispy after he wins his sixth
> TDF, or is TDL quite appropriate now? The K will change to
> a C, then back to a K again in the fall. Man I must be
> bored too, anybody heard from Fabi?

since we're both still bored, here's another joke:

CONFESSION

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation ensues: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful
wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren,and great
grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college

three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man:
"What sins?" Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?" Man:
"I'm Jewish." Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm telling everybody."

[Per ElmsäTer]

B. Lafferty wrote:
> "Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
>> Snipped a bunch of bad Jokes
Here's one that's even worse. And yes I'm bored too, my
morning HR told me to take a day or two off.

This lady had bought a closet form IKEA. After assembling it
according to the instructions she finally stepped back and
admired her work. At this time a tram passed outside on the
street and the vibrations from it dissassembled the closet
back into its original pieces in a pile on the floor. Well
the lady called IKEA and they immediately sent a man out to
check up on this. He commenced to reassemble the closet and
once finished of course another tram passed by down on the
street. Same thing happened. The closet came all undone and
ended up in a pile on the floor. The service man was very
confounded and said. -- Hmmm I need to do this again and
observe what is happening from the inside. Promptly he
reassembled the closet and stepped inside. Of course at this
time the womans husband steps through the door and in order
not to destroy the story already he of course finds the IKEA
man in the closet. -- What the hell are you doing here? --
Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for the tram?

--
Perre

You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.

[B. Lafferty]

"Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
news:I2B3c.51881$mU6.213053@newsb.telia.net...
> B. Lafferty wrote:
> > "Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
> >> Snipped a bunch of bad Jokes
> Here's one that's even worse. And yes I'm bored too, my
> morning HR told me to take a day or two off.
>
> This lady had bought a closet form IKEA. After assembling
> it according to the instructions she finally stepped back
> and admired her work. At this
time
> a tram passed outside on the street and the
> vibrations from it
dissassembled
> the closet back into its original pieces in a pile on the
> floor. Well the lady called IKEA and they immediately sent
> a man out to check up
on
> this. He commenced to reassemble the closet and once
> finished of course another tram passed by down on the
> street. Same thing happened. The closet came all undone
> and ended up in a pile on the floor. The service man was
> very confounded and said. -- Hmmm I need to do this again
> and observe what is happening from the inside. Promptly he
> reassembled the closet and stepped inside. Of course at
> this time the womans husband steps through the door and in
> order not to destroy the story already he of course finds
> the IKEA man in the closet. -- What the hell are you doing
> here? -- Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for
> the tram?
>
> --
> Perre
Consider this while waiting for the tram:

The following is not meant to offend hockey, tennis,
basketball, football or cycling, soccer fans. It is, rather,
an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective. Ever
wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who
don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These
truisms may shed light: Golf is an honorable game, with the
overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who
don't need referees. Golfers don't have some of their
players in jail every week. Golfers don't beat up on each
other during the game. In golf you cannot fail 70% of the
time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball
hitters (.300 batting average) do. Professional golfers are
compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.
Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new
contracts, because of another player's deal. Professional
golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses
on which they play. You can watch the best golfers in the
world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all
day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in the
nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or
more. When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover
for them or back them up. The PGA Tour raises more money for
charity in one year than the National Football League does
in two. Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.
Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each
week. Golf doesn't have free agency. You can hear birds
chirping on the golf course during a tournament. Tiger Woods
can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can
hit a baseball. Finally, here's a slice of golf history you
might enjoy.Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes,
and not 20, or 10 or an even dozen?During a discussion among
the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of
the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to
polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only
one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of
golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.Now you know.

[B. Lafferty]

"Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
news:I2B3c.51881$mU6.213053@newsb.telia.net...
> B. Lafferty wrote:
> > "Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
> >> Snipped a bunch of bad Jokes
> Here's one that's even worse. And yes I'm bored too, my
> morning HR told me to take a day or two off.
>
> This lady had bought a closet form IKEA. After assembling
> it according to the instructions she finally stepped back
> and admired her work. At this
time
> a tram passed outside on the street and the
> vibrations from it
dissassembled
> the closet back into its original pieces in a pile on the
> floor. Well the lady called IKEA and they immediately sent
> a man out to check up
on
> this. He commenced to reassemble the closet and once
> finished of course another tram passed by down on the
> street. Same thing happened. The closet came all undone
> and ended up in a pile on the floor. The service man was
> very confounded and said. -- Hmmm I need to do this again
> and observe what is happening from the inside. Promptly he
> reassembled the closet and stepped inside. Of course at
> this time the womans husband steps through the door and in
> order not to destroy the story already he of course finds
> the IKEA man in the closet. -- What the hell are you doing
> here? -- Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for
> the tram?
>
> --
> Perre
Consider this while waiting for the tram:

The following is not meant to offend hockey, tennis,
basketball, football or cycling, soccer fans. It is, rather,
an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective. Ever
wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who
don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These
truisms may shed light: Golf is an honorable game, with the
overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who
don't need referees. Golfers don't have some of their
players in jail every week. Golfers don't beat up on each
other during the game. In golf you cannot fail 70% of the
time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball
hitters (.300 batting average) do. Professional golfers are
compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.
Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new
contracts, because of another player's deal. Professional
golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses
on which they play. You can watch the best golfers in the
world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all
day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in the
nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or
more. When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover
for them or back them up. The PGA Tour raises more money for
charity in one year than the National Football League does
in two. Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.
Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each
week. Golf doesn't have free agency. You can hear birds
chirping on the golf course during a tournament. Tiger Woods
can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can
hit a baseball. Finally, here's a slice of golf history you
might enjoy.Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes,
and not 20, or 10 or an even dozen?During a discussion among
the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of
the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to
polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only
one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of
golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.Now you know.

[B. Lafferty]

"Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
news:I2B3c.51881$mU6.213053@newsb.telia.net...
> B. Lafferty wrote:
> > "Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
> >> Snipped a bunch of bad Jokes
> Here's one that's even worse. And yes I'm bored too, my
> morning HR told me to take a day or two off.
>
> This lady had bought a closet form IKEA. After assembling
> it according to the instructions she finally stepped back
> and admired her work. At this
time
> a tram passed outside on the street and the
> vibrations from it
dissassembled
> the closet back into its original pieces in a pile on the
> floor. Well the lady called IKEA and they immediately sent
> a man out to check up
on
> this. He commenced to reassemble the closet and once
> finished of course another tram passed by down on the
> street. Same thing happened. The closet came all undone
> and ended up in a pile on the floor. The service man was
> very confounded and said. -- Hmmm I need to do this again
> and observe what is happening from the inside. Promptly he
> reassembled the closet and stepped inside. Of course at
> this time the womans husband steps through the door and in
> order not to destroy the story already he of course finds
> the IKEA man in the closet. -- What the hell are you doing
> here? -- Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for
> the tram?
>
> --
> Perre
Consider this while waiting for the tram:

The following is not meant to offend hockey, tennis,
basketball, football or cycling, soccer fans. It is, rather,
an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective. Ever
wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who
don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These
truisms may shed light: Golf is an honorable game, with the
overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who
don't need referees. Golfers don't have some of their
players in jail every week. Golfers don't beat up on each
other during the game. In golf you cannot fail 70% of the
time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball
hitters (.300 batting average) do. Professional golfers are
compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.
Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new
contracts, because of another player's deal. Professional
golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses
on which they play. You can watch the best golfers in the
world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all
day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in the
nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or
more. When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover
for them or back them up. The PGA Tour raises more money for
charity in one year than the National Football League does
in two. Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.
Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each
week. Golf doesn't have free agency. You can hear birds
chirping on the golf course during a tournament. Tiger Woods
can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can
hit a baseball. Finally, here's a slice of golf history you
might enjoy.Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes,
and not 20, or 10 or an even dozen?During a discussion among
the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of
the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to
polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only
one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of
golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.Now you know.

[Per ElmsäTer]

B. Lafferty wrote:
> dozen?During a discussion among the club's membership
> board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members pointed
> out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth
> of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch
> per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished
> when the Scotch ran out.Now you know.

Now I'm really bored. The cancellation of Paris-Nice didn't
help much either. I'd already benched myself in my favorite
easychair and tuned in to Eurosport where th efirst thing I
hear is that it's cancelled. Well I figured hopefully they'd
show some cycling action from somewhere else instead. Nope
they started showing some crummy boxing instead. I hate that
****. can't somebody sue the organizers of PN for letting
the snow in?

And just to make sure I stay OT, here's another pondering
while waiting for the tram. How does the guy that drives the
snowplow make it to work in the morning?

--
Perre

You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.

[B. Lafferty]

"Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
news:OSF3c.51902$mU6.213175@newsb.telia.net...
> B. Lafferty wrote:
> > dozen?During a discussion among the club's membership
> > board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members pointed
> > out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth
> > of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of
> > Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was
> > finished when the Scotch ran out.Now you know.
>
> Now I'm really bored. The cancellation of Paris-Nice
> didn't help much either. I'd already benched myself in my
> favorite easychair and tuned in
to
> Eurosport where th efirst thing I hear is that it's
> cancelled. Well I figured hopefully they'd show some
> cycling action from somewhere else instead. Nope they
> started showing some crummy boxing instead. I hate that
> ****. can't somebody sue the organizers of PN for letting
> the snow in?
>
> And just to make sure I stay OT, here's another pondering
> while waiting
for
> the tram. How does the guy that drives the snowplow make
> it to work in the morning?

He sleeps with his plow from November through April.
I'm about to get on the wind trainer with a dvd of the
Ronde instead of today's Paris-Nice. Here's another one
to consider:

Three Texas Women

These three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk,
and wake up in jail only to find out that they are to be
executed in the morning, though none of them can remember
what they did the night before. The first one, a brunette,
is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has
any last words. She says, "I am from the Baylor School of
Divinity, and I believe in the almighty power of God to
intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch
and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this
woman to die and they let her go. The second one, a redhead,
is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the
Texas Tech University School of Law and I believe in the
power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and again nothing happens. They figure
that the law is on this woman's side, so they let her go
too. The last one, a blond, is strapped in and says, "Well,
I'm a Texas Aggie Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you
right now you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't
connect them two wires."

[Per ElmsäTer]

Well if you haven't already gotten on to the windtrainer
yet. Here's a hypothetical question to ponder while
boring away.

Have you ever considered a world without hypthetical
situations?

--
Perre

You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.

[Sierraman]

"B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com> wrote in message
news:CgG3c.31271$aT1.110@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
>
> "Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
> news:OSF3c.51902$mU6.213175@newsb.telia.net...
> > B. Lafferty wrote:
> > > dozen?During a discussion among the club's membership
> > > board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members
> > > pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish
> > > off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one
> > > shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of
> > > golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.Now you
> > > know.
> >
> > Now I'm really bored. The cancellation of Paris-Nice
> > didn't help much either. I'd already benched myself in
> > my favorite easychair and tuned in
> to
> > Eurosport where th efirst thing I hear is that it's
> > cancelled. Well I figured hopefully they'd show some
> > cycling action from somewhere else instead. Nope they
> > started showing some crummy boxing instead. I hate
that
> > ****. can't somebody sue the organizers of PN for
> > letting the snow in?
> >
> > And just to make sure I stay OT, here's another
> > pondering while waiting
> for
> > the tram. How does the guy that drives the snowplow make
> > it to work in the
morning?
>
> He sleeps with his plow from November through April. I'm
> about to get on the wind trainer with a dvd of the Ronde
> instead of today's Paris-Nice. Here's another one to
> consider:
>
> Three Texas Women
>
> These three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk,
> and wake up in jail only to find out that they are to be
> executed in the morning, though none of them can remember
> what they did the night before. The first one, a brunette,
> is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has
> any last words. She says, "I am from the Baylor School of
> Divinity, and I believe in the almighty power of God to
> intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the
> switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not
> want this woman to die and they let
her
> go. The second one, a redhead, is strapped in and gives
> her last words, "I am from the Texas Tech University
> School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to
> intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the
> switch and again nothing happens. They figure that the law
> is on this woman's side, so they let her go too. The last
> one, a blond, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm a Texas
> Aggie Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now you
> ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't connect them
> two wires."

--------------------
Ok, try this one...

Tom's best friend Chris comes over one day to see Tom but
Tom is not home. Tom's wife Susie opens the door and tells
him to come in and make himself comfortable, Tom will be
home in 15 minutes. Susie is reading a magazine and notices
that Chris is looking at her rather strangely. "Chris, is
there something I can get you?", she asks. Chris replies as
a matter of fact yes. "Susie, you've got some awfully nice
breasts! Tell you what, if you show me just one of your
breasts I will give you $100!" Susie sits and thinks about
this for a moment. Hmm, $100 bucks, easy money, I don't have
to sleep with the guy and Tom will never find out. So she
decides to do it. She gets up and pulls up her shirt and
lets Chris look at one of her breasts. "Wow", says Chis,
"that was nice!" He then proceeds to throw a $100 dollar
bill on the table. Susie sits back down and realizes that
Chris is eyeing her again. "Tell you what Susie", says
Chris. "If you show me your other breast I will give you
another $100!" Susie thinks about it for a moment and says
to herself, "Wow, $200 bucks, I don't even have to sleep
with the guy and Tom will never find out!" This time she
decides to throw in a little extra and gives him a lap dance
as well. Well 15 minutes had passed by and Tom was due home
at any moment. Chris gets up, throws another $100 dollar
bill on the table and leaves. Susie is bewildered but
doesn't think much of it. Just as Tom comes home Susie picks
up the $200 and sticks it in her pocket. Tom comes in and
says, "Susie, why wasn't that Chris I saw pulling out of the
driveway? "Why yes", Susie replies. "Well what did he want",
says Tom. "I'm not quite sure," says Susie. Oh well, replies
Tom I just hope he brought by that $200 bucks he owes me!

[B. Lafferty]

"Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
news:qMednYIHxMGM2tLd4p2dnA@sti.net...
> --------------------
> Ok, try this one...
>
> Tom's best friend Chris comes over one day to see Tom but
> Tom is not home. Tom's wife Susie opens the door and tells
> him to come in and make himself comfortable, Tom will be
> home in 15 minutes. Susie is reading a magazine
and
> notices that Chris is looking at her rather strangely.
> "Chris, is there something I can get you?", she asks.
> Chris replies as a matter of fact
yes.
> "Susie, you've got some awfully nice breasts! Tell you
> what, if you show
me
> just one of your breasts I will give you $100!" Susie sits
> and thinks
about
> this for a moment. Hmm, $100 bucks, easy money, I don't
> have to sleep with the guy and Tom will never find out. So
> she decides to do it. She gets up and pulls up her shirt
> and lets Chris look at one of her breasts. "Wow", says
> Chis, "that was nice!" He then proceeds to throw a $100
> dollar bill
on
> the table. Susie sits back down and realizes that Chris is
> eyeing her
again.
> "Tell you what Susie", says Chris. "If you show me your
> other breast I
will
> give you another $100!" Susie thinks about it for a
> moment and says to herself, "Wow, $200 bucks, I don't
> even have to sleep with the guy and Tom will never find
> out!" This time she decides to throw in a little extra
> and gives him a lap dance as well. Well 15 minutes had
> passed by and Tom was
due
> home at any moment. Chris gets up, throws another $100
> dollar bill on the table and leaves. Susie is bewildered
> but doesn't think much of it. Just
as
> Tom comes home Susie picks up the $200 and sticks it in
> her pocket. Tom comes in and says, "Susie, why wasn't that
> Chris I saw pulling out of the driveway? "Why yes", Susie
> replies. "Well what did he want", says Tom.
"I'm
> not quite sure," says Susie. Oh well, replies Tom I just
> hope he brought
by
> that $200 bucks he owes me!

:-) another for a boring day:

DONATION

Father O'Malley answers the phone "Hello, is this Father
O'Malley?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I
can" "Do you know a Ted Houlihan?" "I do" "Is he a member of
your congregation?" "He is" "Did he donate $10,000 to the
church?" "He will".

[Per ElmsäTer]

Sierraman wrote:
> --------------------
> Ok, try this one...
>
> Tom's best friend Chris comes over one day to see Tom but
> Tom is not home. Tom's wife Susie opens the door and tells
> him to come in and make himself comfortable, Tom will be
> home in 15 minutes. Susie is reading a magazine and
> notices that Chris is looking at her rather strangely.
> "Chris, is there something I can get you?", she asks.
> Chris replies as a matter of fact yes. "Susie, you've got
> some awfully nice breasts! Tell you what, if you show me
> just one of your breasts I will give you $100!" Susie sits
> and thinks about this for a moment. Hmm, $100 bucks, easy
> money, I don't have to sleep with the guy and Tom will
> never find out. So she decides to do it. She gets up and
> pulls up her shirt and lets Chris look at one of her
> breasts. "Wow", says Chis, "that was nice!" He then
> proceeds to throw a $100 dollar bill on the table. Susie
> sits back down and realizes that Chris is eyeing her
> again. "Tell you what Susie", says Chris. "If you show me
> your other breast I will give you another $100!" Susie
> thinks about it for a moment and says to herself, "Wow,
> $200 bucks, I don't even have to sleep with the guy and
> Tom will never find out!" This time she decides to throw
> in a little extra and gives him a lap dance as well. Well
> 15 minutes had passed by and Tom was due home at any
> moment. Chris gets up, throws another $100 dollar bill on
> the table and leaves. Susie is bewildered but doesn't
> think much of it. Just as Tom comes home Susie picks up
> the $200 and sticks it in her pocket. Tom comes in and
> says, "Susie, why wasn't that Chris I saw pulling out of
> the driveway? "Why yes", Susie replies. "Well what did he
> want", says Tom. "I'm not quite sure," says Susie. Oh
> well, replies Tom I just hope he brought by that $200
> bucks he owes me!

Some time later Tom goes to the local Rodeo and rides the
wildes bronco they have. He easily rides it to the bell and
the manager comes up saying.
- Wow that was awesome. I didn't think anybody could ride
that horse.
- Nah, that wasn't nothing compared to when Susie had the
whooping cough last winter.

This was to get us back on topic. If you wanna get good at
riding ya' gotta ride ;)

--
Perre

You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.

[B. Lafferty]

"Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
news:t_I3c.51915$mU6.213111@newsb.telia.net...
> Sierraman wrote:
> > --------------------
> > Ok, try this one...
> >
> > Tom's best friend Chris comes over one day to see Tom
> > but Tom is not home. Tom's wife Susie opens the door and
> > tells him to come in and make himself comfortable, Tom
> > will be home in 15 minutes. Susie is reading a magazine
> > and notices that Chris is looking at her rather
> > strangely. "Chris, is there something I can get you?",
> > she asks. Chris replies as a matter of fact yes. "Susie,
> > you've got some awfully nice breasts! Tell you what, if
> > you show me just one of your breasts I will give you
> > $100!" Susie sits and thinks about this for a moment.
> > Hmm, $100 bucks, easy money, I don't have to sleep with
> > the guy and Tom will never find out. So she decides to
> > do it. She gets up and pulls up her shirt and lets Chris
> > look at one of her breasts. "Wow", says Chis, "that was
> > nice!" He then proceeds to throw a $100 dollar bill on
> > the table. Susie sits back down and realizes that Chris
> > is eyeing her again. "Tell you what Susie", says Chris.
> > "If you show me your other breast I will give you
> > another $100!" Susie thinks about it for a moment and
> > says to herself, "Wow, $200 bucks, I don't even have to
> > sleep with the guy and Tom will never find out!" This
> > time she decides to throw in a little extra and gives
> > him a lap dance as well. Well 15 minutes had passed by
> > and Tom was due home at any moment. Chris gets up,
> > throws another $100 dollar bill on the table and leaves.
> > Susie is bewildered but doesn't think much of it. Just
> > as Tom comes home Susie picks up the $200 and sticks it
> > in her pocket. Tom comes in and says, "Susie, why wasn't
> > that Chris I saw pulling out of the driveway? "Why yes",
> > Susie replies. "Well what did he want", says Tom. "I'm
> > not quite sure," says Susie. Oh well, replies Tom I just
> > hope he brought by that $200 bucks he owes me!
>
> Some time later Tom goes to the local Rodeo and rides the
> wildes bronco
they
> have. He easily rides it to the bell and the manager comes
> up saying.
> - Wow that was awesome. I didn't think anybody could ride
> that horse.
> - Nah, that wasn't nothing compared to when Susie had the
> whooping cough last winter.
>
> This was to get us back on topic. If you wanna get good at
> riding ya'
gotta
> ride ;)

You are referring to cyclocross and mtb--not road riding?

[Per ElmsäTer]

B. Lafferty wrote:
> "Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
> news:t_I3c.51915$mU6.213111@newsb.telia.net...
>> Sierraman wrote:
>>> --------------------
>>> Ok, try this one...
>>>
>>> Tom's best friend Chris comes over one day to see Tom
>>> but Tom is not home. Tom's wife Susie opens the door and
>>> tells him to come in and make himself comfortable, Tom
>>> will be home in 15 minutes. Susie is reading a magazine
>>> and notices that Chris is looking at her rather
>>> strangely. "Chris, is there something I can get you?",
>>> she asks. Chris replies as a matter of fact yes. "Susie,
>>> you've got some awfully nice breasts! Tell you what, if
>>> you show me just one of your breasts I will give you
>>> $100!" Susie sits and thinks about this for a moment.
>>> Hmm, $100 bucks, easy money, I don't have to sleep with
>>> the guy and Tom will never find out. So she decides to
>>> do it. She gets up and pulls up her shirt and lets Chris
>>> look at one of her breasts. "Wow", says Chis, "that was
>>> nice!" He then proceeds to throw a $100 dollar bill on
>>> the table. Susie sits back down and realizes that Chris
>>> is eyeing her again. "Tell you what Susie", says Chris.
>>> "If you show me your other breast I will give you
>>> another $100!" Susie thinks about it for a moment and
>>> says to herself, "Wow, $200 bucks, I don't even have to
>>> sleep with the guy and Tom will never find out!" This
>>> time she decides to throw in a little extra and gives
>>> him a lap dance as well. Well 15 minutes had passed by
>>> and Tom was due home at any moment. Chris gets up,
>>> throws another $100 dollar bill on the table and leaves.
>>> Susie is bewildered but doesn't think much of it. Just
>>> as Tom comes home Susie picks up the $200 and sticks it
>>> in her pocket. Tom comes in and says, "Susie, why wasn't
>>> that Chris I saw pulling out of the driveway? "Why yes",
>>> Susie replies. "Well what did he want", says Tom. "I'm
>>> not quite sure," says Susie. Oh well, replies Tom I just
>>> hope he brought by that $200 bucks he owes me!
>>
>> Some time later Tom goes to the local Rodeo and rides the
>> wildes bronco they have. He easily rides it to the bell
>> and the manager comes up saying.
>> - Wow that was awesome. I didn't think anybody could ride
>> that horse.
>> - Nah, that wasn't nothing compared to when Susie had the
>> whooping cough last winter.
>>
>> This was to get us back on topic. If you wanna get good
>> at riding ya' gotta ride ;)
>
> You are referring to cyclocross and mtb--not road riding?

Yes of course. If nothing else LA showed us last year how
important this was during TdF. So without being cruel let's
hope the Crow gets a good case of the whooping cough soon.

--
Perre

You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.

[B. Lafferty]

"Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in message
news:oHK3c.51922$mU6.213346@newsb.telia.net...
> B. Lafferty wrote:
> > "Per Elmsäter" <perDOTelmsater@telia.com> wrote in
> > message news:t_I3c.51915$mU6.213111@newsb.telia.net...
> >> Sierraman wrote:
> >>> --------------------
> >>> Ok, try this one...
> >>>
> >>> Tom's best friend Chris comes over one day to see Tom
> >>> but Tom is not home. Tom's wife Susie opens the door
> >>> and tells him to come in and make himself comfortable,
> >>> Tom will be home in 15 minutes. Susie is reading a
> >>> magazine and notices that Chris is looking at her
> >>> rather strangely. "Chris, is there something I can get
> >>> you?", she asks. Chris replies as a matter of fact
> >>> yes. "Susie, you've got some awfully nice breasts!
> >>> Tell you what, if you show me just one of your breasts
> >>> I will give you $100!" Susie sits and thinks about
> >>> this for a moment. Hmm, $100 bucks, easy money, I
> >>> don't have to sleep with the guy and Tom will never
> >>> find out. So she decides to do it. She gets up and
> >>> pulls up her shirt and lets Chris look at one of her
> >>> breasts. "Wow", says Chis, "that was nice!" He then
> >>> proceeds to throw a $100 dollar bill on the table.
> >>> Susie sits back down and realizes that Chris is eyeing
> >>> her again. "Tell you what Susie", says Chris. "If you
> >>> show me your other breast I will give you another
> >>> $100!" Susie thinks about it for a moment and says to
> >>> herself, "Wow, $200 bucks, I don't even have to sleep
> >>> with the guy and Tom will never find out!" This time
> >>> she decides to throw in a little extra and gives him a
> >>> lap dance as well. Well 15 minutes had passed by and
> >>> Tom was due home at any moment. Chris gets up, throws
> >>> another $100 dollar bill on the table and leaves.
> >>> Susie is bewildered but doesn't think much of it. Just
> >>> as Tom comes home Susie picks up the $200 and sticks
> >>> it in her pocket. Tom comes in and says, "Susie, why
> >>> wasn't that Chris I saw pulling out of the driveway?
> >>> "Why yes", Susie replies. "Well what did he want",
> >>> says Tom. "I'm not quite sure," says Susie. Oh well,
> >>> replies Tom I just hope he brought by that $200 bucks
> >>> he owes me!
> >>
> >> Some time later Tom goes to the local Rodeo and rides
> >> the wildes bronco they have. He easily rides it to the
> >> bell and the manager comes up saying.
> >> - Wow that was awesome. I didn't think anybody could
> >> ride that horse.
> >> - Nah, that wasn't nothing compared to when Susie had
> >> the whooping cough last winter.
> >>
> >> This was to get us back on topic. If you wanna get good
> >> at riding ya' gotta ride ;)
> >
> > You are referring to cyclocross and mtb--not road
> > riding?
>
> Yes of course. If nothing else LA showed us last year how
> important this
was
> during TdF. So without being cruel let's hope the Crow
> gets a good case of the whooping cough soon.

Without cruelty, from your lips to God's ears.

[Michael Thomas]

On Wed, 10 Mar 2004 16:58:48 GMT, "B. Lafferty" <Magni@Italia.com>
wrote:

>
>"Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
>news:qMednYIHxMGM2tLd4p2dnA@sti.net...
>> --------------------
>> Ok, try this one...

<round of jokes snipped>

From memory:

A postal worker is retiring after 30 years, delivering mail
for the last time on his route. He comes to the first house
and the owner opens up the door and hands him a big basket
of fruit. He thanks her and continues on his route. At the
next house the owner opens the door and gives him a freshly
baked apple pie. He thanks her and again continues on his
route. At the next house, to his surprise, the owner, a
beautiful blonde, opens the door and greets him wearing
nothing but a see-thru negligee. She grabs his hand and
without saying a word leads him upstairs and makes
passionate love to him. Afterwards, she escorts him
downstairs to the kitchen table and cooks up a wonderful
breakfast for him. As she pours him a cup of coffee, he
notices a dollar bill under the cup.

Confounded by the whole event, he says, "Miss, I must say
that what just happened upstairs was incredible. I am a bit
curious though, about this dollar... What is it for?"

She happily replies, "Oh, that. Well, last night my
husband and I were discussing your retirement, and I asked
him what he thought we should do. He said, "F**K him, give
'em a dollar."

After a short pause she exclaims, "The breakfast was my
idea!"

MT

[B. Lafferty]

"Michael Thomas" <mtNOSPAMMING@armory.com> wrote in message
news:pouu409d4ss4q6dfr1p4pd8qtvulgcn5a3@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 10 Mar 2004 16:58:48 GMT, "B. Lafferty"
> <Magni@Italia.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Sierraman" <riposa@sti.net> wrote in message
> >news:qMednYIHxMGM2tLd4p2dnA@sti.net...
> >> --------------------
> >> Ok, try this one...
>
> <round of jokes snipped>
>
> From memory:
>
> A postal worker is retiring after 30 years, delivering
> mail for the last time on his route. He comes to the first
> house and the owner opens up the door and hands him a big
> basket of fruit. He thanks her and continues on his route.
> At the next house the owner opens the door and gives him a
> freshly baked apple pie. He thanks her and again continues
> on his route. At the next house, to his surprise, the
> owner, a beautiful blonde, opens the door and greets him
> wearing nothing but a see-thru negligee. She grabs his
> hand and without saying a word leads him upstairs and
> makes passionate love to him. Afterwards, she escorts him
> downstairs to the kitchen table and cooks up a wonderful
> breakfast for him. As she pours him a cup of coffee, he
> notices a dollar bill under the cup.
>
> Confounded by the whole event, he says, "Miss, I must say
> that what just happened upstairs was incredible. I am a
> bit curious though, about this dollar... What is it for?"
>
> She happily replies, "Oh, that. Well, last night my
> husband and I were discussing your retirement, and I asked
> him what he thought we should do. He said, "F**K him, give
> 'em a dollar."
>
> After a short pause she exclaims, "The breakfast was
> my idea!"
Nice one!