Top ten ways to look like a better cyclist than you are! :) - Page 14

Oh man I can hardly breath I am laughing so hard. I am just imagining the bug eyed look and the dropped jaw.

I am going to be giggling about this for days!

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"Pain does not last, bones heal and chicks dig scars"

Hahahahaha! Classic. My girlfriend always makes fun of me because I forget to take my clear lens Tifosi glasses off! They just sit there at 9pm at night on top of my head!

Show up to your spin class in a skin suit, aero helmet and shoe covers.

Send threatening letters to the president that way secret service will follow you around and everyone will think you have federal bodyguards while you ride and that you are someone of importance.

Yes I know some of you already do send letters, but sign them this time.

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Dope,when training and talent just aren't enough.

Get some coloured tyres! Yellow or Red are always good!

The uninitiated think they are something very special, even if they are only rubino pros....

You know the best way to BECOME a better cyclist?







RIDE!!!

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Ciocc 7005 with Colnago Carbon Fork and Ultegra 10

It's really quite simple, all you need is a cafe on a very steep hill, a stereo and a gas cannister/ smoke machine.
You basicall have two choices:

Downhill: Get up as much speed and fly down the hill as fast as you can, just as you reach the cafe release the smoke and zoom by. The general reaction should be " holy ****, that guy was goin so fast he left a smoke trail....wow!" (emulating a sonic boom sound will add to the effect, although most people will be skeptic of a super-sonic-cyclist)

Uphill: Sprinkle a little water on your face and under arms just before you get started (for that sweaty look) and the plod on up the hill, not too fast!. When you get to the cafe put on your best grimmace face, grunt a little as if in pain and press play on your stereo blasting out "The eye of the tiger" at full volume. The general reaction should be "god that guy's a real fighter, he just won't give up, I wish I was that strong minded.....wow"

Go to your local Zoo,steal a Chetah,kill it,tie it onto your bike and ride through town.
People will look and say"Holy Crap! He must hve been taking his Chetah for a run and dragged it to death".

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Dope,when training and talent just aren't enough.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I forgot how good this thread was. The motorbike story is awesome. I doubt that will ever be topped.

okay, okay, I can't resist. There's a guy at work who's gotta be the inspiration for this whole thing. Some of his most frequently utilized affecctations include:

1) Always refers to weight in terms of BMI. Including an exasperated look when others don't know their BMI is optional, but used sparingly, magnifies the impact.

2) Never miss an opportunity to stretch in the office. Especially when the cute interns are within eyeshot. Note: if you're not really flexible, you can still utilize this one... claim to be recovering from injury.

3) *Always* have some random piece of cycling equipment strategically placed in your office. On inquiry claim to be working on improving the design, aerodynamics, or efficiency depending on the piece in question.

4) Have a map in your office with color coded pushpins all over it. You can use your imagination on this one. Mountains I've climbed, races I've won, A races this year, etc. Make sure you have an incredible story to regale for each one.

5) Your desk calendar should have your periodization schedule consipcuously displayed, color coded, personal bests highlighted, etc.

6) Always have cycling injury story available to top whatever injury, illness, scar, or difficulty story a colleague tells.

I've been observing this guy for a while and as I think of more, I'll certainly post. Maybe I can even get *The Source* of all this to post.

I always feel that a good Santa hat goes a long way to proving to your fellow peletonians that you are very professional. Especially a Mercatone Uno Santa bandana..

tip: works better at Christmas..

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HARD
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LMAO....had a guy do the water bottle trick infront of me..bounced of the curb and under my front wheel almost causing a high side.....still laughing about it!