Top ten ways to look like a better cyclist than you are! :) - Page 3

Heh!

How about you and a cycling buddy stopping in front of a cafe or coffee shop or similar place where there are alot of people hanging out or having lunch and then pulling out a map and saying loudly (while looking lost)

"Ok, its been 40 miles and I haven't seen the junction yet... they said it was right around here..."

"No, they said that the junction was the 3/4 point we still have 20 miles to the turn then its another 90 miles before the hills..."

"Oh, yeah ok I see it now, ok, but keep the pace below 27 ok? I need legs for the ascent and at 90 more miles that puts me right near the threshold..."

"Pansy! we'll take a breather before the ascent, but its only 8%"

"Ohhh! I thought it was 10%! ok never mind we'll ride straight thru, I have an extra powerbar on me..."

"let's do it"

"cool"

LoL!

Take a ceramics class and make your own "Blue Punch Bowl" trophy. Forge a card from Lance that says "Hey bud, I don't have enough room for six of these. why don't you hang on to this for me. Lance"

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May the road you ride be a good road!

I got it today Birdman...I was on my normal Sunday ride with my wife- 20 miles through the wine country here in Sonoma County California. We got a flat (I got a flat) and we were held back for about 15 minutes while I bitched and then changed my tube...only to be overtaken by the Vineman Triathalon. This ride was of course riddled with guys and gals who kick my butt, and many with disk wheels (nothing sounds cooler when it passes you at about 55 mph). Anyway, I got sick of waiting for the field of about 2000, so I just joined in. I was cheered and offered many Clif bars and Gatorade, which I did not take, I can however say at this point that I rode in a triathalon. I didn't take the gatorade...not realizing that ten minutes up the road would be my chance to fling the bottle (who cleans all that up?).
Anyway- best part was my wife on her Girls frame (step-through) hybrid bike (her first...she got at 29) on her first twenty miler riding through the checkpoint with the rest of the triathalon...course, the gal said she didn't think the wife qualified, but offered Gatorade anyway.
So here it is- To look like a better cyclist then you are, run what you brung right through the middle of a triathalon.
The guys were cool, all of them saying good morning...and all of them asking if I was OK when I stopped to wait for my wife, who was swept up in the fanfare and taking it easy
Cheers

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may the wind take your troubles away...

Tried this the other day. Nearly rear-ended the car in front when the cleat slipped off the clutch.

... full aero out the driveway... So Funny!!! I'm still giggling.. everyone in the office thinks I'm a little strange.

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:: Dom ::



| Merlin Lunaris | Fetish D&S | Ritchey Breakaway Ti | 04 Roubaix Pro | 06 Langster | Jamis Eclipse | S-Works Roubaix | Masi Specialé

VelocityFiji

Man... I ALREADY drive in my cycling shoes!

hippy

Mess with the tire size setting on your bike computer. Your max and average speeds will greatly improve and you can brag about this to all of your buddies. WARNING: This technique must only be used if you are willing to cycle alone for the rest of your life or at least until you can actually maintain the "real" speed. Otherwise you will surely be defrauded.

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May the road you ride be a good road!

Replace the brake, clutch, accelerator pedals in your car with clipless pedals to show all your friends how fast you can clip out.

Try it with SPD-SL... while reversing into a parking space... gooood fun!

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:: Dom ::



| Merlin Lunaris | Fetish D&S | Ritchey Breakaway Ti | 04 Roubaix Pro | 06 Langster | Jamis Eclipse | S-Works Roubaix | Masi Specialé

VelocityFiji

Hahaha, awesome. I can see it now...I'm going to go stand along the route of the Mt. Hood Challenge with my bike and just "jump in" the pack. Althought the real racers with be equiped with ChampionChips so I won't register on the timeclock when I cross the finish line.

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"...on a steel horse I ride..."

this thread is really funny!!! thanks for the laughs every one

Learn to balance, clipped-in, at traffic lights.

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:: Dom ::



| Merlin Lunaris | Fetish D&S | Ritchey Breakaway Ti | 04 Roubaix Pro | 06 Langster | Jamis Eclipse | S-Works Roubaix | Masi Specialé

VelocityFiji

HA HA HA. I thought I was the only one who did that.

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May the road you ride be a good road!

For your next club ride: Have a friend stand by the roadside about half way through the route with a musette. Be careful not to get to close as you grab the bag though. Remember that one Lance? Ouch.

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May the road you ride be a good road!

Ah yes! the feed zone! That would be great to have a few of those during the ride... as it stands now, I have to carry everything on me Surely not the sign of a truly posing cyclist! LoL!

Wear your cycling kit in the tanning salon. This will assure you of the most killer cycling tan even if you only ride once a month. Make sure you let other people see the tan lines as it is sure to strike up a conversation and you can thus profess your skills.

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May the road you ride be a good road!

Tell everyone who will listen how dificult it is to walk WITHOUT cleats.

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:: Dom ::



| Merlin Lunaris | Fetish D&S | Ritchey Breakaway Ti | 04 Roubaix Pro | 06 Langster | Jamis Eclipse | S-Works Roubaix | Masi Specialé

VelocityFiji