Dear Cycling Expert - Page 2

C'dale Girl · #16 02-14.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

<puts on pink, with puppy dogs on 'em socks>

C'dale Girl, can I go on your girls night out ?

Um . . . . . . why?

mikesbytes · #17 02-14.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by C'dale Girl

Um . . . . . . why?

Cycling Expert has recommended it

Quote:

Originally Posted by alienator

Pink, with puppy dogs on 'em. By looking non-threatening you're likely to pocket a lot of female phone numbers and invitations to "girls' nights out." This is an ideal situation, as once the girls are drunk on their night out, you can safely reveal your more lascivious nature, openly groping them and also videoing them doing things together that we all know that girls do together on their nights out.

Thankyou Cycling Novice.

C'dale Girl · #18 02-15.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

Cycling Expert has recommended it

Thankyou Cycling Novice.

Ah, in that case, yeah sure. But, good luck with the open groping and videoing us doing things with each other. I think the Cycling Expert has watched one too many porns, or at least "Girls Gone Wild."

mikesbytes · #19 02-15.-2008

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

The socks seem to have worked. Haven't been out on the girls night yet, but I was invited to exercise class, it was a bit different to what I normally do. Please click on the link to see the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy0G2...eature=related

Thankyou,

Cycling Novice.

Powerful Pete · #20 02-15.-2008

Are you the guy in this video? Whoa, that sock thing really must have worked...

::dom:: · #21 02-15.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

Dear Cycling Expert,

When I got dressed to ride my bike home after work, I discovered that I had one black sock and one navy sock.

Should I have put the navy sock on my left foot or my right foot?

Thankyou,

Novice Cyclist

Dear Novice Cyclist

It is universally accepted that cycling socks should be white (unless your name is Prance Asswrong in which case you can wear black).

Here's what you do: Roll both socks up and stuff them down the front of your shorts. Everyone will be so busy looking at your "socks" the won't notice you're not wearing any.

mikesbytes · #22 02-17.-2008

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

stlblues · #23 02-17.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

Thats why I cross train with playing hockey.....and I don't usually wear socks playing hockey either, better feel for the ice.

C'dale Girl...Post pics for the curious.

Powerful Pete · #24 02-17.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

That was hysterical... the show is called 'scherzi a parte' where they set up a star with ' inside help ' from his/her friends and family (my wife says it is like 'punked' on MTV if that helps for the US people out there).

C'dale Girl · #25 02-18.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by stlblues

Thats why I cross train with playing hockey.....and I don't usually wear socks playing hockey either, better feel for the ice.

C'dale Girl...Post pics for the curious.

Yeah, I'll get right on that Blue Note.

But, surely you meant that you cross train with cycling, right?

stlblues · #26 02-18.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by C'dale Girl

Yeah, I'll get right on that Blue Note.

But, surely you meant that you cross train with cycling, right?

Do I detect a bit of sarcasm? And its a bit of both. The cycling keeps the legs strong for hockey in the winter, hockey keeps the legs strong for cycling in the summer. Theres just alot less hitting on bicycles.

geoinmillbrook · #27 02-19.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

Thankyou Cycling Expert,

I have now developed a crush on C'dale Girl, perhaps one day she will notice me.

As Italy is a country that has produced some of the best cyclists in the world, I decided to purchase an Italian training video. It arrived in the post yesterday and I've found that my Italian is not as good as it should be, I am confused about the post training rituals, Cycling Expert can you explain? (see link)

MARIO CIPOLLINI training video

Thankyou

Cycling Novice

Awe man this is easy. The guys in the the little smart car were obviously impressed with the socks in the cyclists shorts, and wanted to know what color they were. They also wanted to know why one rider had the socks in the rear, and the other in front.

The explanation was easy " there is a higher probability of attracting a mate if you troll for both genders !" You know how Italians are !

Then the guys in the camper were obviously jealous of the attention the cyclists got from the guys in the little car and wanted to give them other objects to stuff in their pants. The one cyclist who drafted the camper wanted to show how aggressive he could be "from behind" -- he was obviously the biker with his socks in his rear.

I got bored after that and stopped watching. I can't imagine what is going on in that little shed !

mikesbytes · #28 02-19.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by geoinmillbrook

Awe man this is easy. The guys in the the little smart car were obviously impressed with the socks in the cyclists shorts, and wanted to know what color they were. They also wanted to know why one rider had the socks in the rear, and the other in front.

The explanation was easy " there is a higher probability of attracting a mate if you troll for both genders !" You know how Italians are !

Then the guys in the camper were obviously jealous of the attention the cyclists got from the guys in the little car and wanted to give them other objects to stuff in their pants. The one cyclist who drafted the camper wanted to show how aggressive he could be "from behind" -- he was obviously the biker with his socks in his rear.

I got bored after that and stopped watching. I can't imagine what is going on in that little shed !

Dear cycling expert,

So to become a successful cyclist, you need to combine your training with any opportunties for a sexual encounter, now I understand why the shorts are tight and legs are shaved.

I will now purchase shorts that are 2 sizes too small and shave my legs in an attempt to get C'dale Girl to notice me.

Thankyou cycling novice

geoinmillbrook · #29 02-20.-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikesbytes

Dear cycling expert,

So to become a successful cyclist, you need to combine your training with any opportunties for a sexual encounter, now I understand why the shorts are tight and legs are shaved.

I will now purchase shorts that are 2 sizes too small and shave my legs in an attempt to get C'dale Girl to notice me.

Thankyou cycling novice

Yes, grasshopper, thou hast found the secret of the UNIVERSE. All living things must develop activities of the conscious and subconscious motivation that are nothing more than a means to procreation. Being of higher order our species has evolved to develop many habits, customs and methods for luring a partner into our tangled webs. Shavest thine legs and share thine bulbous member - C'dale girl will surely be entranced unto your will. If that doesn't work, well there is always

GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)
Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)

Of course I do not condone the use of the latter and abhor those that may think to stoop this low. Mention of them is soley for the purpose of sick humor. I must of course mention the remedy for these - a swift kick to the sensitive parts from the intended inductee.

thomas199023 · #30 02-21.-2008

buy new socks

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