Cycling Forums - Jokes http://www.cyclingforums.com/ Drop by here to post or read jokes en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:54:45 GMT vBulletin 60 http://cdn.cyclingforums.com/images/layout/misc/rss.jpg Cycling Forums - Jokes http://www.cyclingforums.com/ wash your hands SIR! http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471756-wash-your-hands-sir.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:27:22 GMT An army officer walks into a restroom then up to a stall to pee. next to him a navy man just finishes an zips up his pants and walks over to the mirror to comb his hair. Just then the Army officer walks over and washes his hands in the sink. The Navy man turns to walk out..... Army officer:... An army officer walks into a restroom then up to a stall to pee. next to him a navy man just finishes an zips up his pants and walks over to the mirror to comb his hair. Just then the Army officer walks over and washes his hands in the sink. The Navy man turns to walk out.....

Army officer: "That's gross!"
Navy man:"Whats gross?"
Army officer:"the Army teaches us to wash our hands ofter using the restroom unlike the Navy"
Navy man:"Son, the Navy teaches us not to piss on our hands unlike the Army!" ]]> Jokes bianchi10 http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471756-wash-your-hands-sir.html dumb http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471670-dumb.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:21:59 GMT ass. ass. ]]> Jokes roadhouse http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471670-dumb.html what do elephants use for tampons? http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471595-what-do-elephants-use-tampons.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:59:06 GMT sheep. sheep. ]]> Jokes roadhouse http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471595-what-do-elephants-use-tampons.html how do you catch a polar bear? http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471588-how-do-you-catch-polar-bear.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:29:00 GMT you dig a hole in the ice and put peas all around it, and when the polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole! you dig a hole in the ice and put peas all around it, and when the polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole! ]]> Jokes roadhouse http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471588-how-do-you-catch-polar-bear.html Great Burke Street http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471587-great-burke-street.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:36:42 GMT I bought a bike recently from a woman with the same name as the first. She had a credit union bank account and we dont have it where I live so I got another bank account number from her that she claimed to be her partners. However there was no name with it, so I resorted to use the Credit Union... I bought a bike recently from a woman with the same name as the first.
She had a credit union bank account and we dont have it where I live so I got another bank account number from her that she claimed to be her partners. However there was no name with it, so I resorted to use the Credit Union one. It turned out to be Westpac that handled them. I haven't heard back from her yet if she got the money.
Before this; she gave her address as a number in Great Burke Street, a suburb and Hamilton in the North Island of New Zealand.When I searched 'google maps nz' I could not locate any Burke or Great Burke street. I tried Bourke Street etc. Slowly it began to dawn upon me I had been had, had .. for the two dollars I paid for the bike. Then I tried searching the suburb Ohaupo and it came up outside of Hamilton and nearly every street or road is called Great .....something. Great Collins etc. Because it seems it is adjacent to the Great South Highway or something.
Anyway you can imagine my relief when I saw 'Great Burke Street' after all.
Great to know one isn't a GREAT BURKE after all these years isn't it? ( :
Imagine turning up to school on the first day if your parents lived there?
'Teko Teko

to me
show details Oct 29 (5 days ago)

Thank you for wining my auction my Address is: 10 Great Burke St,Ohaupo (Hamilton). Payment must be made before pick up. Name of account: Teko Teko, Bank: First Credit Union, A/Number: 03-1754-0349772-00. Injoy the ride. Please add ref/n on payment.

Cheers ]]> Jokes derailled http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471587-great-burke-street.html bite me http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471564-bite-me.html Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:46:43 GMT A guy walking down the street sees a girl with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey Miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?"
"Are you nuts?!!", she replies and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.
"Listen you, I'm not that kind of women, got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again."Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000?"
She thinks about it for a while and says "Hmmmm, $10,000, eh? Okay but not here, let's go in that dark alley over there."
So they go ino the alley where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks ""Well, are you gonna bite them or what?"
"Nah, costs too much." ]]> Jokes roadhouse http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471564-bite-me.html Leave Letters http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471522-leave-letters.html Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:20:18 GMT See, how people write leave Applications.

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.

The Leave Applications; )
·Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."
·This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
·Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
·From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
·Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
·An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
·A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
·Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
·Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..." ]]> Jokes chronicent http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471522-leave-letters.html Halloween funny http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471512-halloween-funny.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:57:48 GMT Thought this was funny:


What's a mummy's favorite type of music... ]]> Jokes scja0311 http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471512-halloween-funny.html A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471451-tired-cyclist-stuck-his-thumb-out-lift.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:57:55 GMT A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift: After 3 hours, hadn't got anyone to stop. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. But the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: "If I go too fast, ring your bell and I'll slow down."
Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap. The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph. He then relayed, "and you're not going to believe this, but there's a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass!". ]]> Jokes bobfromwaco http://www.cyclingforums.com/jokes/471451-tired-cyclist-stuck-his-thumb-out-lift.html