The Polar Bear club.

At summer camp they had a program called "Polar Bears" where
we'd get up real early, at like 7am (early by a summer camps
leisurly standards) and go down to Highland lake, where we'd
all get naked (well, down to our swimsuits anyways) and have
to run and jump into the water, and no "waisties" were
allowed, you had to get totally wet, hair and all to make
the grade. However I never found out what "making the grade"
meant, or what the point to the whole thing was. I gradually
came to suspect that since it was mostly ugly males, and fat
ugly chics, that the good looking folks were having an orgy
in the hot tubs while our nabs were shrunk to the size of
raisins to prevent the bad genes from getting passed on. At
least that's what we did years later as counselors...

"Dangling" <danglingdingleberrys@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:abcc5b97.0407082056.181f71f1@posting.google.com...

> At summer camp

You went to a 'summer camp'? What sort of camp was it?

> where we'd all get naked (well, down to our swimsuits
> anyways)

Y'see, you have me here. To me, naked means nude, whereas to
you, naked means in a swimsuit. Ha! Bet that's caused you
some problems during your life...

Scene: A ramshackle wooden building in a seedy part of town
with a sign saying 'Betty's House of Ill Repute' half-
hanging off the wall.

Betty: "Which girlie you fancy, Mr Wobbot?"

Wobbot: "Why, I'll have me that buxom wench with the one eye
and the drool dripping from her twisted mouth"

Buxom Girl: "Lets you 'n' me get nekkid, big boy.

Wobbot: "OK honey, I'm gonna give you the lovin' of
your life"

Scene: A shambolic bedroom, lit by a single bare lightbulb.
It casts harsh shadows onto an unmade bed...

Buxom Girl (by this time nekkid as the lord intended) "Man,
are you a shy one! Git those swimmin' trunks off an' show me
a good time, country boy!"

Wobbot: "But.....but....I AM nekkid, babe! I ain't *never*
done taken my trunks off for no-one before! You're just
gonna have to improvise, honey!"

Three hours later.....

Buxom Girl: "'Tain't no use, lover. I just ain't onna get
me off if you insist on leaving your manhood snuggled up
in them Speedos. You gonna have to choose, boy. Your
little fella's either gonna live in them pants or in my
pleasure palace."

Wobbot: "Damn you, woman. Ma momma told me you hussys are
all the same.

ain't leavin' till I gets it."

Puzzled look comes over the face of Buxom Girl...

involved...?

Wobbot: "Well, first my momma tells me I gotta face the
corner. Then, momma tells me I gotta bend over. Then, I hear
momma pickin' up the broom handle..."

>However I never found out what "making the grade" meant,

That's stating the obvious.

> or what the point to the whole thing was.

Oooh! Let me guess! Swimming?

> gradually came to suspect that since it was mostly ugly
> males, and fat ugly chics, that the good looking folks
> were having an orgy in the hot tubs while our nabs were
> shrunk to the size of raisins to prevent the bad genes
> from getting passed on.

I hope you now realise that exactly the opposite occurs.
Heat tends to upset the little sperm fellas, whereas cool
testicles = fertile testicles. That's right, Wobbot, place
your tesicles on a block of ice and you'll be the most
fertile fella in the whole of Yankeeland. Honest.

>At least that's what we did years later as counselors...

You'd think - given the number of councellors that you've
encounted during your treatment sesions - that you'd be able
to spell the word correctly.

This is very helpful to us as runners. Thanks for sharing
it with us.

danglingdingleberrys@hotmail.com (Dangling) wrote in message
news:<abcc5b97.0407082056.181f71f1@posting.google.com>...
> At summer camp they had a program called "Polar Bears"
> where we'd get up real early, at like 7am (early by a
> summer camps leisurly standards) and go down to Highland
> lake, where we'd all get naked (well, down to our
> swimsuits anyways) and have to run and jump into the
> water, and no "waisties" were allowed, you had to get
> totally wet, hair and all to make the grade. However I
> never found out what "making the grade" meant, or what the
> point to the whole thing was. I gradually came to suspect
> that since it was mostly ugly males, and fat ugly chics,
> that the good looking folks were having an orgy in the hot
> tubs while our nabs were shrunk to the size of raisins to
> prevent the bad genes from getting passed on. At least
> that's what we did years later as counselors...

Yeah, it was the water that made your genitals
shrink................right. What's the excuse when you're
not swimming?

Dangling wrote:
> At summer camp they had a program called "Polar Bears"
> where we'd get up real early, at like 7am (early by a
> summer camps leisurly standards) and go down to Highland
> lake, where we'd all get naked (well, down to our
> swimsuits anyways) and have to run and jump into the
> water, and no "waisties" were allowed, you had to get
> totally wet, hair and all to make the grade. However I
> never found out what "making the grade" meant, or what the
> point to the whole thing was. I gradually came to suspect
> that since it was mostly ugly males, and fat ugly chics,
> that the good looking folks were having an orgy in the hot
> tubs while our nabs were shrunk to the size of raisins to
> prevent the bad genes from getting passed on. At least
> that's what we did years later as counselors...

Yes I know about this camp, I founded it. You can find out
more about the polar bear camp here:
http://x.wikki.net/PolarBearCamp

--
polar bear

"np426z" <np426z@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:ccm49q$gbg$1@hercules.btinternet.com...

> You'd think - given the number of councellors that you've
> encounted during your treatment sesions - that you'd be
> able to spell the word correctly.

Jeeze, dozens of you will have read this by now yet not one
of you had the wit to notice the spelling of 'kownsellers'
was incorrect.

Numpties, one and all!

"np426z" <np426z@btinternet.com> wrote in message news:<ccm49q$gbg$1@hercules.btinternet.com>...
> "Dangling" <danglingdingleberrys@hotmail.com> wrote in
> message
> news:abcc5b97.0407082056.181f71f1@posting.google.com...
>
> > At summer camp
>
> You went to a 'summer camp'? What sort of camp was it?
>

The kind where lots of "touchy-feeley" games were played,
and the head counselor was Chester D. Molester, who liked to
cut the linings out of his shorts pockets, and tell you to
fish for change. I never found any... And I was persistant
too. See mommy was the camp nurse, so the whole family got
to go for the full 6 weeks as freeloaders, leaving the wild
headonistic breathen (me) to have complete and free reign of
the camp day and night. I could spend all day horseback
riding, swimming, hiking, or just sitting in our private
cell, er, I mean cabin, whereas the commoners (mostly people
from scotland who pretended to be Dr's while vacationing
here) had to follow the preset schedule that the camp had
set up for them.

> Y'see, you have me here. To me, naked means nude, whereas
> to you, naked means in a swimsuit. Ha! Bet that's caused
> you some problems during your life...

To people with A) a rectal-cranial infarction, or B) idiots
with no sense of humor, that would pose a quandry. You see
in the mind of a 12YO adolescent, it may as well as been
naked. But alas, there was no lass to gaze upon, only males
and whales.

> involved...?

> Wobbot: "Well, first my momma tells me I gotta face the
> corner. Then, momma tells me I gotta bend over. Then, I
> hear momma pickin' up the broom handle..."
>

Undoubtedly one of your constantly recurring dreams about
me.

> >However I never found out what "making
> > the grade" meant,
>
> That's stating the obvious.
>

Never needed to, I set the standards others need to meet.
See Roger, as I have so eloquently pointed out in the past,
I am a predator, and you the prey. You'll never understand
why you as cute lil' Roger rabbitt is lounging in the
field, enjoying the warm sun, cool breezes, and just glad
to be alive, when *WHOOSH* down swoops Bid Bad Bill Rodgers
the eagle, and tears lil ol Roger into tiny shreds, and
eats your intestines. It's survival, nothing personal lil
Roggie poo.

> or what the point to the whole thing was.
>
> Oooh! Let me guess! Swimming?
>
Wow! It must be that wit that guided you through faux
medical school, to become the reknowned faux Dr you've now
become. I bet your mom is so proud, well, if she hadn't
abandon you at first site I mean...

> I hope you now realise that exactly the opposite occurs.
> Heat tends to upset the little sperm fellas, whereas cool
> testicles = fertile testicles. That's right, Wobbot, place
> your tesicles on a block of ice and you'll be the most
> fertile fella in the whole of Yankeeland. Honest.

I've often gotten a laugh out of the cruel joke teens must
get when they take that age-old advice of "take a cold
shower" to ease their

> You'd think - given the number of councellors that you've
> encounted during your treatment sesions - that you'd be
> able to spell the word correctly.

No no you dumb (_!_) That means I was PAID to be a
counselor. This entailed a great deal of responsibility on
my part. Be nice, remove your finger from my ass, and maybe
I'll tell you about it. Your poor command of the english
language, and it's complicated spelling rules is nothing
short of appalling.

"np426z" <np426z@btinternet.com> wrote in message news:<ccmmf7$i06$1@sparta.btinternet.com>...
> "np426z" <np426z@btinternet.com> wrote in message
> news:ccm49q$gbg$1@hercules.btinternet.com...
>
>> Jeeze, dozens of you will have read this by now yet not
>> one of you had the
> wit to notice the spelling of 'kownsellers' was incorrect.
>
> Numpties, one and all!

No, we just have lives, unlike yourself.

polar bear <polar@nospam.invalid> wrote in message news:<ccmk8o0220n@news2.newsguy.com>...
>Yes I know about this camp, I founded it. You can find out
>more about the polar bear camp here:
>http://x.wiki.net/PolarBearCamp

Sorry my fiend, but that's not it. While that camp looks
interesting,

High_Colonic@webtv.net (Miss Anne Thrope) wrote in message news:<13174-40EEAC95-589@storefull-3158.bay.webtv.net>...
> Yeah, it was the water that made your genitals
> shrink................right. What's the excuse when you're
> not swimming?

Well I just stay near the water and use "shrinkage" as an
excuse... I mean, umm, I, umm, nevermind.