do you pee off your bike?

JuneBug

[QUOTE]Originally posted by joetrainor
[B]what about number 2s.

Anyone poked a 'turtle out' while riding. A thought for that poor fellow - and we all know of at least one! who has 'Caked his shorts' due to having a severe dose of the runs.


I once did an Ironman and was kinda mad they didnt have toilets till the second mile of the run. MAN when you get off yoru bike after that long ride you have to GO but it doesnt want to come out til you start running. oh THEN it wants to come out NOW.

so I did what everyone else was doing and found a viaduct or a tree and just squatted. I didnt really care if anyone saw me.

ONce while in line for the shacks at a 'cookie ride' century..... we gals got a good giggle at a guys ......front end'..... I gues he was excited about the ride!!!!

Rader

Never done it... (Interesting thread)

davek

What a highly entertaining thread.

I've never peed while on my bike but I don't race so I always have time to stop and find a tree to go behind.

I once peed myself while playing football [soccer] - I was in goal and play was concentrated up the other end of the pitch but I didn't want to desert my post in case of sudden counter-attack, so I just let rip. It was a cold, rainy, windy day and I was already soaked and covered in mud anyway so there was no danger of anyone noticing.

mxpilot

I am glad to see this topic talked about. I am one who "has to go when I have to go". My problem is that I ride in a mostly residential neighborhood. No where to pee. So what I do is slide it out the bottom of my shorts then extend over the back of seat with my stomach on seat then I let it go. Works and low key. I wish there was a better way. Any inventions ?

Stevedvg

how about a short length of hose-pipe attached to the weener with duct-tape and pointed out over the side of the bike?

__________________
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

ProfTournesol

so you're happy to rip off the duct tape are you?

__________________
Regards Michael

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Stevedvg

uhm...I obviously didn't think of the whole removal bit So much for my invention - It would work but would also most certainly result in death!

__________________
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

JuneBug

hey they already have something like that for women!!!! LOL

But it might not be too late to get a patent on that invention!!

Stevedvg

Patenting the device is not the problem - but having to tear off your weener when removing it will definately be a drawback

__________________
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

meehs

Wasn't there a story about LeMond getting violently ill during a Tour De France and shooting vile greeninsh-brown ooze out his hind end, through his shorts and onto his rear tire? Then upon coming in contact with the spinning wheel, proceeded to spray the poor, unsuspecting riders behind him with toxic smelling fecal matter? Seriously! I remember hearing something like that!

Personally I think that if I were to attempt to relieve myself while riding I would probably soil myself.

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timdodge

... As we came down to 20 laps to go I had a bit of a problem... I had to urinate - and bad. In a road race I would drift off the back and have a teammate push me as I tinkled. Peeing off the bike is fairly easy; you just need to lean to one side of the bike and stretch down your bibs. You need to pick a long straight downhill section and one-hand steer your bike. Keeping track of wind direction, feathering the brake, and reducing post-pee-dribble all come with experience. There are a few more curveballs, however, when relieving yourself in a balls-out 8-corner criterium. The first is that you are always going 30mph or faster, the second is that there are spectators around the entire course, and the third is that you have to turn every 15 seconds. Like McGyver in the old TV show, I came up with a plan using the simple objects around me. The absolute worst thing that could happen is that I would end up with piss all over myself. I figured that was better than holding it for another hour. So here goes: I orchestrated my covert pee plan to happen as soon as the pace let up a hair. First, I prepared a water bottle. After I emptied the bottle, I pulled the top off. I put the bottle back in my front cage for easy access. Step two: I pulled my jersey up half way to expose my bib shorts (It would have been cake if I had regular shorts). I then practiced slipping the bottle in my shorts with my right leg at the bottom of the pedal stroke. I figured I had about 20 seconds of pee time if I could coast down the hill. Remember folks, if I pedaled while the bottle was in my shorts, I would have dumped a bottle of pee down the front of my crotch.

With 17 laps to go I took the topless bottle from my cage and stuffed it down my shorts on the inside of my right thigh. The pace stayed high so I rode like this for two laps. I pray no photographers took any pictures during these two laps or I will have girls calling the house non-stop. It must have looked really, really weird to the spectators as well. The race finally eased up a bit on a descent and I immediately got out of my seat, lined everything up, and started peeing with all the force I could muster. I managed to get around the downhill turn maintaining the stream without pedaling my bike. As I was just starting to lose contact with the field, I felt something warm and wet hit my skin and I knew I had overfilled the bottle and it was time to shut it down. I pulled out a full bottle of warm urine, dumped it out on the road, and jettisoned the bottle far into a bush. Luckily I was able to find the bottle after the race and make sure that a fan didn't use it to house his next cold beer.

I pulled the whole thing off without a hitch and the fans had no idea what happened. The whole adventure took my mind off the race for about five laps and before I knew it there were only 10 laps to go.

Source: http://visionquestcoaching.com/2003-DownersChamp.asp

JuneBug

oh that was YOU!!! hmmmmmmm

ProfTournesol

Bravo! That effort deserves a medal in itself! I just hope that wasn't a Zefal Magnum bottle that was overflowing.

__________________
Regards Michael

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

zmanzzzz

hi junebug! is that really your bum?