When you lose [random non bike stuff]

Ms_Merida

A little from column A and a little from Column B.

I think when i started this thread, I was being an emotional chick.
Had just done a "in a BIG hurry" move from my house, so lost that, then also lost my freedom and sanity coz i'm staying with my parents for the time being, then my bf at the time broke things off.. so lost that [in hindsight it's not a loss after all] AND now i've lost my social life [also not a bad thing really] due to working more on cycling and now also combining full time work with study.

..

And how did you feel when you lost your virginity? Actually.. DON'T answer that!

Wattsy Rules

Hitchy was so happy he rang his mates to boast...pity he was alone when it happened...

OK a little uneditored exerpt from my book:

"I came home from my ride not know what was waiting for me inside. I entered the house and was immediately struck by the silence, given my children would normally have swamped me at the door. Michelle was standing in the kitchen and had a greave look on her face. She smiled awkwardly and asked me how my ride was. I chatted briefly with her and could feel that something was wrong. I asked her "what's up" and she just said, "have a shower and I'd like to have a chat." I walked through the house and the lack of children began to make me feel uneasy...Where were they? I took a shower and came back out to the kitchen where Michelle was standing behind the breakfast counter. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it as if someone was beating a drum inside my head.

I said, "OK kid, what's up?" She looked up from the bench, looked me in the eyes and said, "I don't love you anymore and I want to leave you," and with those simple words a wave a pain unlike any I'd ever experienced engulfed me. The feeling of sureality was overwhelming and I burst into tears weaping uncontrollably. I begged her to give us another chance, but she stood steadfast and kept saying, "I'm sorry, it's over!"

I walked to the lounge room and sat on the couch weaping into hands and she sat beside me and place her hand on my leg and said again, "I'm so sorry." I pushed her hand away and the best insult I could offer was, "don't touch what you can't afford". I'm not sure to this day if she thought I was serious or joking...perhaps I don't know myself.

After a while Michelle stood up and said, "I've taken the children to a safe place and I'm going keep them there until you calm down and we can talk sensibly." She then walk to her car and drove off, leaving me sitting on the couch weaping uncontrallably. The pain becoming more intense as the reality of the situation became more clear. She had gone and taken my children...and they weren't coming back. I immediately felt claustrophobic, something which has never happened to me before. My breathing became shallow and the walls started closing in on me so I opened ever door and window and switched on all of the lights.

I sat on the couch for what seemed minutes but was, in fact, 7 hours crying and repeating, "please no, this can't be happening." A huge part of me died that day and to this day I can't face that event without reliving the enormous pain that I suffered.

As darkness fell, I tried to make something to eat, but after taking one bite of a sandwich began to dry reach into the kitchen sink. I decided that I needed to walk and get out of the house so headed for the beach path. Not really thinking about where I was going, rather focusing on my pain and my loss I headed north along Beach Rd, when suddenly I realised I was sitting on a seat looking at the Spirit of Tasmania departing her birth in Port Melbourne...had I really walked from Sandringham?

I began to walk back when the pain hit me again and I fell to my knees and was crying uncontrallibly again, but this time was in the middle of the bike path. As I looked through my hands at the ground I noticed a pair of feet standing in front of me. I looked up to see two very confused members of Police looking down at me. The older member (probably 22yo) asked me if I OK. Clearly I was not. They helped me to my feet and sat me on a public seat and started asking for my person details. After several attempts to explain myself I burst into tears again and blurted out, "The bitch has left me". I think they both wanted be anywhere else but there at that point in time......"

Ms_Merida

Interesting - I'm not sure what to feel. I know both sides of that story [minus the kids bit]. My "losses" really aren't anything to write home about, just at the time i wasn't doing well.. but hey shit happens.

Is that an autobiography?

Wattsy Rules

Not an autobiography, rather a diary on the first 12 months after the separation. The book is aimed primarily at men so the majority of women will probably take offence.

One of the main themes running through the book though is that no one's loss is more or less than anyone elses, rather it's different. Everyone deals with grief differently. PLUS, I do include a recipe for a killer Osso Buco that is guarenteed to get sex...with a woman when cooked as part of a romantic dinner! Hasn't failed me yet!

I was very lucky I had a few angels come into my life at this time...

Ms_Merida

So very very true.! I agree 100% or 110% even.

Regarding Angels - those who have such a helping hand, are blessed

classic1

Every happy relationship is the same

Every breakup is its own hell.

Why has cyclingforums gotten deep all of a sudden?

Ms_Merida

Maybe coz i starte this thread. My Bad. but hey.. why not dig deep

Wattsy Rules

Hehehehehe...THhere's only so much you can write about 2 wheels, a frame and a bunch unfit buggers who shve their legs...besides, in the next 12 months I got a book to flog so need the PR to get interest.

Ms_Merida

Might seem odd, but i'd be keen to give it a read! Hope you get it out there.. men's mental health is still sort of tabu.. nice work btw!