wash your hands SIR!

A young fellow is washing his hands in the restroom. A Marine comes in and the child is awestruck. "Wow, mister" he says. "Are you a real Marine?"

The Marine says "I sure am kid. You want to wear my hat?"
The child says yes so the Marine puts his cap on the child's head.

Next a soldier walks in and the child, awestruck again, says "Gee mister, are you a real Army soldier?"

The soldier says "I sure am. You want to suck my ****?"

The child says "Oh no mister, I'm not a real Marine, I'm just wearing his hat!"

Why do they always carry Marines onboard Navy ships?

Sheep would be too obvious.

I pilot is heard over the radio talking to air trafic controll.

Pilot: ah center we are calibrating some sensitive equipment and would like to know the oficial time. (thats pilot code for "forgot to set the clock)

Trafic controler: well if your a civilian its 2:00 If your Navy its 14:00 if your airforce the big hand is on the 12 the little hand is on the 2