Originally Posted by mydaughterchili
Should I get one? I have two kids a 3 year old and a 3 month old. unfortunately my wife and i have been in a bad relationship for a long time. I come from two parents who were unhappily married. they would fight often and the tension would crush our family (i have 2 sisters). it was never physical but alwasy verbal and passive aggresive. my wife on the other hand, came from a family where they divorced early (she doesn't even remember her parents together). my question is, should i get a divorce? granted i will be happier, but will the kids? no matter what, i will do what is best for them....
From my experience divorce hurts the children; but they can recover. How good the recovery is up to your effort in making it as painless as possible. I have three children and have been divorced for 12 years. One moment that I remember was going to pickup my youngest son in a parking lot one weekend. My Ex Wife and I got into a fight over money and I stormed away in the car. Looking in the mirror I saw my 6 year old son yelling, crying and stiff as a board with his arms above his head. I turned around and picked him up, but I have never gotten over that moment. I apologized several times to him, in fact asked his forgiveness just the other day.
Being in a bad relationship for the kids doesn't work. The kids can get through the divorce, but you have to help make it work. You'll be surprised that most of their friends have been through it too, so.....
Good luck and do what's best in your own mind.