I will start us off.
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious ... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that ... there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
I am not stupid but old...
HAHAHAH! So funny. Just emailed this to my office.
Here is my joke contribution:
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
**Ok, so it's not too funny, but my friend's video is. He created it for the Rapha 500 contest--it's about doing 500 km in 5 days. If you "like" the video, he will win a bike. That way he won't have to steal it and pray for forgiveness!