Old But Funny

SilentGTboy

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's
wrong and what to do about it. It only takes 10 seconds and costs $10."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
store.

He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the compute ejects a printout:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting.
3. It will improve in about 2 weeks.

That night while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog,
urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the
mixture.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results.
He deposits $10, pours in the concoction, and awaits the results.

Ten seconds later, the compute ejects a printout:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They're not yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself,
your elbow will never get better.