Joe Cyclingnews.com Communications Expert Crowned Mr. "I Forgot To Take Photos at the Tour of Romandy"

Richard Longwood

Joe Cyclingnews.com Communications Expert Crowned Mr. "I Forgot To Take
Photos at the Tour of Romandy"



Wolverhampton, England (May 4) A thirty-something Xtreme freight-train racer
and student at Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame University became the first actual
man to be crowned Mr. "I Forgot To Take Photos at the Tour of Romandy",
Saturday, vowing to spend his year-long reign helping people who don't know
that life is just the placebo effect writ large and in reverse.



Mr. "I Forgot To Take Photos at the Tour of Romandy", Jeff Jones, the son of
the inventor of plowing through a bridge abutment doin' 190 kilometers per
hour, exuded a set of complex and difficult-to-characterize emotions, as
late 20th-century capitalism showered him with its most profound rewards:
flashing lights, confetti, and lougies with a fetus hocked from a catwalk by
the inventors of antenna balls, swizzle sticks, and the popular "high school
hairpiece."



Although he was obviously "tripping" on the powerful hallucinogenic drug,
LSD-25, at the time, Jones was all totally down with the real world an' all
as he said all he wants to do is inform people, before it's too late, that
life is just the placebo effect writ large and in reverse.



"It is getting late," he told the throngs of people who came to be healed by
him by him allowing them to touch the hem of his garment, "and if people
don't start to learn now that life is just the placebo effect writ large and
in reverse, then, one day soon, someone's gonna come along and say 'HEY!!!
LIFE IS JUST THE PLACEBO EFFECT WRIT LARGE, AND IN REVERSE!!! YUH BUNCHA
DUMBASSES!!' And then where will civilization be?"



A spokesman for Cyclingnews.com, on assignment in the audience at the time,
was rumored to have muttered, "Indeed!" Though, at press time, these rumors
could not be confirmed.



Footnote: for those of you interested in further discussion of the concept
of the placebo effect writ large and in reverse, see the out-of-print,
unavailable 1928 monograph by Jeff Jones, "The Placebo Effect Writ Large and
In Reverse" or the 2004 "novel" by Jeff Jones at cyclingnews@cyclingnews.com