You know you're a cyclist when...

Sue White

This came round the orifice today - sorry to anyone who's already seen
it

Subject: FW: you know your a cyclist when ...


Your weekly washing consists of five full team kits including socks and
gloves, and a scabby old t-shirt only if it smells really bad.

You eat the Hi-Protein, Low Fat, Chunky Carb and Atkins diets at the
same time. On the same plate.

You find the thing rubbing on your back brake is your enlarged calf.

You can't understand why people buy a bike and then only change or
replace things as they wear out.
You have the arms of a schoolgirl.
Your tyre stack is up to your waist.

You know who you can and can't "have" on your daily commute, and have
been known to fake mechanicals just so the old guy with the rod brakes
doesn't pass you again.

You subscribe to satellite for Le Tour, buy bike mags for the pictures,
and eat Power Bars for the taste.
You can name groupsets in order but can't do the same with your cousins.

When people ask you "What bike should I get?", they're appalled at the
spreadsheet and budget plan you present to them a few days later.

Apparently there is pornography on the net.

You're proud to have fitted a week's food shopping into your courier
bag,
but can't put that inner tube back in its box.

You can say "On your left, mate" in seven languages.

You judge possible girlfriends by the cycling heritage of their home
land/country/state.
You wear knee high socks after that unfortunate small-child-on-the-bus
incident.
You've heard people go on holiday with their families.

You know who all the best wheel builders / frame sprayers /
all-you-can-eat food places are, but not who your neighbours are.

Your tan lines make grown men cry with laughter and women point at you
on the beach.
Your forehead has permanent helmet pad dimples on it.
You have more pairs of sunglasses than you've had sexual partners.

You know the country by soil type.
You know the taste of patch glue, leaf mould, and dead fox.
The diary on the wall only shows the rare times when you're free.

Your porn mags have bike mags hidden in them.
You have a recurring dream of being trampled by horses.

You can still fit into your first proper suit.
Your only suit is your first proper suit.
Your thighs rub at the top.

Your most expensive clothes and shoes are cycle-specific.
Each of your bikes cost more than your car.
You've done DIY with a multi tool.

You fear marble floors.

--
Sue ];(

What goes down must come up again - Confucius' Law of Mountain Biking

Richard Goodman

"Sue White" <Sue@blackhole.invalid> wrote in message
news:QQmtvHFvba3BFwEc@mashtub.demon.co.uk...
> This came round the orifice today - sorry to anyone who's already seen it
>
> Subject: FW: you know your a cyclist when ...

LOL. Love it. Some of those things are not so far from the truth either!

Rich

Mark

> LOL. Love it. Some of those things are not so far from the truth either!

Some of them are true for me... and others too, I expect.

Mark

David Martin

On 6/1/05 9:00 pm, in article QQmtvHFvba3BFwEc@mashtub.demon.co.uk, "Sue
White" <Sue@blackhole.invalid> wrote:

> This came round the orifice today - sorry to anyone who's already seen
> it
>
> Subject: FW: you know your a cyclist when ...
>

I'm not going to admit to how many of those I was nodding yes to...

...d

Roos Eisma

Sue White <Sue@blackhole.invalid> writes:

>You wear knee high socks after that unfortunate small-child-on-the-bus
>incident.

Can someone explain this one..?

Roos

Mark McNeill

Response to Roos Eisma:
> >You wear knee high socks after that unfortunate small-child-on-the-bus
> >incident.
>
> Can someone explain this one..?

I wondered if it was something along the lines of

/fff, con brio/ "Mummy, why has that man shaved his legs? Is he an
offduty ladyboy?"


--
Mark, UK.
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.

MSeries

Mark McNeill wrote:
> Response to Roos Eisma:
>
>>>You wear knee high socks after that unfortunate small-child-on-the-bus
>>>incident.
>>
>>Can someone explain this one..?
>
>
> I wondered if it was something along the lines of
>
> /fff, con brio/ "Mummy, why has that man shaved his legs? Is he an
> offduty ladyboy?"
>
>
If you are a cyclist why would you be on a bus ?

Simon Brooke

in message <346uhcF47fmvaU1@individual.net>, Mark
('mark.harris.invalid@ukonline.co.uk.invalid') wrote:

>> LOL. Love it. Some of those things are not so far from the truth
>> either!
>
> Some of them are true for me... and others too, I expect.

This is why we need a fifth amendment.

--
simon@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

;; better than your average performing pineapple

David Martin

On 7/1/05 10:40 am, in article
ah52b2-gcr.ln1@gododdin.internal.jasmine.org.uk, "Simon Brooke"
<simon@jasmine.org.uk> wrote:

> in message <346uhcF47fmvaU1@individual.net>, Mark
> ('mark.harris.invalid@ukonline.co.uk.invalid') wrote:
>
>>> LOL. Love it. Some of those things are not so far from the truth
>>> either!
>>
>> Some of them are true for me... and others too, I expect.
>
> This is why we need a fifth amendment.

You'd need a constitution and four other amendments first..

...d

dkahn400

MSeries wrote:

> If you are a cyclist why would you be on a bus ?
>

Because Nathaniel Porter requires it.

--
Dave...

Simon Brooke

in message <BE0422D6.6EA2%d.m.a.martin@dundee.ac.uk>, David Martin
('d.m.a.martin@dundee.ac.uk') wrote:

> On 7/1/05 10:40 am, in article
> ah52b2-gcr.ln1@gododdin.internal.jasmine.org.uk, "Simon Brooke"
> <simon@jasmine.org.uk> wrote:
>
>> in message <346uhcF47fmvaU1@individual.net>, Mark
>> ('mark.harris.invalid@ukonline.co.uk.invalid') wrote:
>>
>>>> LOL. Love it. Some of those things are not so far from the truth
>>>> either!
>>>
>>> Some of them are true for me... and others too, I expect.
>>
>> This is why we need a fifth amendment.
>
> You'd need a constitution and four other amendments first..

details, schmetails.

--
simon@jasmine.org.uk (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

---===***<<< This space to let! >>>***===---
Yes! You, too, can SPAM in the Famous Brooke Rotating .sig!
---===***<<< Only $300 per line >>>***===---

Alan Braggins

In article <3475m9F46e589U1@individual.net>, MSeries wrote:
>Mark McNeill wrote:
>> Response to Roos Eisma:
>>
>>>>You wear knee high socks after that unfortunate small-child-on-the-bus
>>>>incident.
>>>
>>>Can someone explain this one..?
>>
>> I wondered if it was something along the lines of
>> /fff, con brio/ "Mummy, why has that man shaved his legs? Is he an
>> offduty ladyboy?"
>>
>If you are a cyclist why would you be on a bus ?

To show off how your Brompton fits in the luggage rack?

Richard Goodman

Simon Brooke wrote:

>in message <346uhcF47fmvaU1@individual.net>, Mark
>('mark.harris.invalid@ukonline.co.uk.invalid') wrote:
>
>
>
>>>LOL. Love it. Some of those things are not so far from the truth
>>>either!
>>>
>>>
>>Some of them are true for me... and others too, I expect.
>>
>>
>
>This is why we need a fifth amendment.
>
>
>
It was in the spirit of the '5th' that I expressed myself in the way I did!

Rich

Tony W

"Simon Brooke" <simon@jasmine.org.uk> wrote in message
news:ah52b2-gcr.ln1@gododdin.internal.jasmine.org.uk...
> >
> > Some of them are true for me... and others too, I expect.
>
> This is why we need a fifth amendment.

Dyslexia rools. I thought it read

"this is why we need a fifth recumbent".

T