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06-05.-2005, 02:56 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 320
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Johnny
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son, Johnny, comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that Johnny is in there already. Johnny says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." "I have a baseball," says Johnny. "That's nice," the man says. "Want to buy it?" asks Johnny. "No, thanks." "My dad's outside," says Johnny. "OK, how much?" asks the man. "$150." "Sold," says the man. In the next few weeks, it happens again that Johnny and the lover are in the closet together. "Dark in here," begins Johnny. "Yes, it is," says the man. "I have a Wilson fielders glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks Johnny, "How much?" "$350," replies Johnny. "Highway robbery. Sold," says the man. A few days later, the father says to Johnny, "Grab your ball and glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch. "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove," says Johnny. The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" "$500," Johnny replies. "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that," says his father. "That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed." They go to the church and the father makes Johnny sit in the confessional and closes the door. "Dark in here," begins Johnny. "Don't start that **** again, you're in my closet now," says the priest. |
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08-05.-2005, 12:24 AM
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#2 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 260
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Re: Johnny
LOL already re-eposted and found these one liners
on http://com4.runboard.com/branton.fjustforfun.t428 "Idle Thoughts sum of the wall stuff but I always love these ^_^ I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it I had amnesia once -- or twice. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. What if there were no hypothetical questions? The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a 20 penny nail. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmmm? My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. How can there be self-help "groups"? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? The speed of time is one-second per second. Is it possible to be totally partial? What's another word for thesaurus? Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. |
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