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27-07.-2005, 11:10 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 100
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10 things that might, or might not, happen..
now Lance has retired.
1. Calf length socks will disapper from the peloton - even the most ardent Disco fan has to admit that they are a crime against humanity. 2. Jan Ullrich will follow someone else up a mountain - can't be much fun for the lad watching Lance's arse for 3-4 hours a day. 3. The Lance fans will finally realise he was on dope all the time. 4. The Lance bashers will finally realise that he was clean all the time. 5. Flyer will disappear off the face of the earth - well, we can all live in hope 6. Disappointed that they can no longer call Lance, Larrrrrnce, Phil and Steve take to calling Jan, Jarrrrrrrn 7. Christi Anderson will stop wetting herself everytime a Disco rider makes a break for it - fat chance i know. 8. A new face on the top step of the podium - Basso, Ullie, Vino, since you asked. 9. The Lance v Eddy my daddy's bigger than your daddy debate comes to an end with everyone admitting that Eddy is the best having won more jerseys, more stages and spent more days in yellow than Lance - sorry couldn't resist it. 10. The Tour organisers decide to move the Tour to Texas, rename it the Tour De Lance and ban anyone who isn't named Lance from ever winning it. feel free to add your own thoughts. |
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27-07.-2005, 11:12 PM
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#2 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Not quite there
Posts: 968
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Re: 10 things that might, or might not, happen..
Quote:
Now that's funny. Don't give them any ideas..... L PS I agree about the socks too! yuck!
__________________
Cheap, Strong and Light. Pick any Two. |
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29-07.-2005, 02:48 AM
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#3 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: "Still in 1975"
Posts: 2,722
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Re: 10 things that might, or might not, happen..
Quote:
1..... Texas would never allow more then 10 Frenchmen into the state at once. 2..... People in Texas think Phil & Paul have strange accents and talk like sissy's. 3..... The TDF Society would never allow "calf-roping" on stage 8. 4..... Texas has tough drunk driving laws. On the final day ride into Paris...... [I mean Austin] would be compromised when the Texas Rangers starting arresting the riders for celebrating with the Official Tour de Texas beverage ...... Shinerbocks for the men, and peach margarittas for the French !!!!!! 5..... Chaos would be created when the race announcers anounced that a rider "was attacking another rider"...... Texans still have memories of the Alamo and all those guns on the racks in the team cars would come out . 6..... The good thing though is we could replace Hinault with Willie Nelson at the Texas Tour Podium !!!!!!! 7...... And John Kerry would never be allowed to ride in the Texas Tour officials car..... 8...... The Dallas Cowboys would be the final team selected. 9...... On stage 9 Jan Ullrich would have convinced Vino that all those Texas rattlers along the road just love to have their bellies rubbed. 10....... Instead of Lance having to take the Discovery Team bus to the start every day, he could ride his chopper with Sheryl on the back . 11.... The riders would all be informed that the penalties for smuggling drugs across the borders into Texas is a hell of alot worse then in Europe. 12..... Jan drops out , renounces his German citizenship and spends the next 10 years in Juarez, Mexico partying the nights away . Lance joins him 3 years later. |
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