Bush losing support

Bro Deal

WASHINGTON, July 31 - President Bush appears to be losing support among a
key group of voters who had hitherto stood firmly with the president even as
his poll numbers among other groups fell dramatically.
A new Gallup poll shows that, for the first time, Bush's approval rating has
fallen below 50% among total fucking
morons, and now stands at 44%. This represents a dramatic drop compared to a
poll taken just last December, when 62% of total fucking morons expressed
support for the president and his policies.


The current poll, conducted by phone with 1,409 total fucking morons between
July 15 and July 20, reveals that only 44% of those polled believe the
president is doing a good job, while 27% believe he is doing a poor job and
29% don'tunderstand the question.


The December poll, conducted by phone with 1,530 total fucking morons,
showed 62% approved of the president, 7%
disapproved and 31% didn't understand the question. Faltering approval
ratings for the president among a
group once thought to be a reliable source of loyal support gives
Republicans one more reason to be nervous about the upcoming mid-term
elections.


"If we can't depend on the support of total fucking morons," says Sen. Rick
Santorum (R-PA), "then we've got a big
problem. They're a key factor in our electoral strategy, and an important
art of today's Republican coalition."


"We've taken the total fucking moron vote for granted," says Rep. Tom Feeney
(R-FL), "and now we're paying for it. We've let the Democrats control the
debate lately, and they've dragged discourse back into the realm of complex,
nuanced issues. So your average total fucking moron turns on his TV and sees
his Republican Congressman arguing about Constitutional law or the
complexities of state formation in the Middle East, and he tunes out. He
wants to hear comforting, pandering, flattering bromides and he doesn't want
to hear a logical argument more complex than what you'd find on a
bumpersticker."


For Feeney, the poll is a dire warning that Republicans can ignore only at
their peril. "This should send a signal that we have to regain control of
the debate if we want the support of our key constituencies in the coming
election and beyond. We need to bring public discourse back into the realm
of stupidity and vacuity. We should be talking about homosexual illegal
immigrants burning flags. We should be talking about the power of pride. We
should be talking about freedom fries. These are the issues that resonate
with total fucking morons.


But some total fucking morons say it's too late. Bill Snarpel of Enid,
Oklahoma is a total fucking moron who voted for Bush in both 2000 and 2004.
But he says he won't be voting for Bush in 2008. "I don't like it that he
was going to sell our ports to the Arabs. If the Arabs own the ports then
that means they'll let all the Arabs in and then we'll all be riding camels
and wearing towels on our heads. I don't want my children singing the Star
Spangled Bannerin Muslim."


Total fucking moron Kurt Meyer of Turlock, California also says his once
solid support for Bush has collapsed. "He invaded Iraq and all those
soldiers died, and for what? We destroyed all their WMDs, but now their new
president is making fun of us and saying he's going to build nuclear bombs
and that we can't stop him. Well, nuclear bombs are even worse than WMDs, so
what did we accomplish?"


Laura McDonald, a total fucking moron from Chandler, Arizona, says she is
disappointed that the president hasn't been a more forceful advocate of
Christian values. "This country was founded on Christian values," she says,
"but you'd never know it looking around and seeing
all the Mexicans running around. I thought Bush was going to bring Jesus
back into the government. Instead, Christians are being persecuted worse
than ever before in history, because all these Mexicans come here and tell
Christians that we have to respect their religious beliefs. So now it's
illegal for children to pray in school. Soon it will be illegal for them to
speak English."


Not all total fucking morons have turned their backs on the president. Jeb
Larkin of Topeka, Kansas says he still
fully supports Bush. "He is doing a great job. He is a great president. He
is a great decider. I have a puppy. His tail sticks straight up and you can
see his butthole."


And not all Republican lawmakers are concerned about the poll. Sen. Lamar
Alexander (R-TN), forone does not find it a cause for anxiety. While he
agrees that his party should not take total fucking morons for granted, they
"really don't have anywhere else to go. They're never going to be able to
understand someone like Al Gore or John Kerry or anybody intelligent and
articulate who wants to talk about substantive issues. Just try having a
conversation with one of them about global warming. They'll say, 'Oh, but
Rush says volcanoes consume more ozone than humans do.' I mean, they're
morons! Total fucking morons!" "They've got nowhere else to go," Alexander
reaffirms with a smile, "and they always vote."

__________________
"You are like the wind and I like the lion. You form the tempest. The sand stings my eyes and the ground is parched. I roar in defiance but you do not hear. But between us there is a difference. I, like the lion, must remain in my place. While you like the wind will never know yours." -- Mulay Hamid El Raisuli, Lord of the Riff, Sultan to the Berbers, Last of the Barbary Pirates

BillM

:d :d :d


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