Help. Problem with fellow Rider ;-(

[Bigbananabike]

[SIZE= medium]I ride with a group on Sunday mornings. It’s pretty casual and we stop to wait for the slowest people at certain points etc so it’s a good group for newbies. [/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]I’m the fastest rider but I keep it in check as I’m not training for anything (just keeping fit this year) and want to keep the bunch (basically) together. [/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]Lately we’ve had a really obnoxious guy join us. He’s an Alpha male who’s loud, got a ready (ribald) wit, the flashest gear (top of the line Scott with Di2 and DuraAce wheels, drives to the ride in his AMG Mercedes), rides off the front, tells us to hurry up, made fun of a slow/new guy etc.[/SIZE]

[SIZE= medium]A Narcissist basically.[/SIZE]

[SIZE= medium]He’s mates with one of the long time riders (who I thought would have better friends!) so had a foothold in there. [/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]What to do about him? [/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]1/ don’t ride with them[/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]2/ try to ignore him (very hard to do)[/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]3/ undermine him to the others[/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]4/ beat him up every hill [/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]5/ tell him to tone it down (I did a little bit but he’s a pretty daunting guy)[/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]6/ push him down a bank while no one else is around[/SIZE]
[SIZE= medium]7/ ??! [/SIZE]

[SIZE= medium]BBB[/SIZE]

 

[jhuskey]

When he mouths off tell him that he should let his legs do the talking and if wants have a go at it explain to the group you will be back shortly. Then drop his sorry a**.
May not be a cure but it will be a start on the treatment.

 

[Jim Moore]

If you're faster than him he's not the alpha male. You are. As such, you're authorized to tell him to shut the **** up.

 

[An old Guy]

Who is the ride leader?

It sounds that it is not you. In which case since you are unhappy you go off and ride elsewhere.

The guy you complain about seems to be out of place on the ride. Eventually he will go elsewhere.

 

[sitzmark]

Depends ... he could be "helping" the less strong riders by pulling them out f their comfort zone a bit (if that's of interest to anyone).

If you're the only one annoyed, I'd ignore him. If there are others in the group who are annoyed, then maybe it's time for you and a few faster members to "run him" - i.e. see if you have the makings of a sub group. If the group is large enough, it could be that the time has come to split into long/short, fast/slow anyway.

If you ignore him and he really wants to pull harder, then he'll most likely get bored and find another group. If you have other riders who want to pull a little harder, they may get bored and you'll find your group diminishing in size if you don't address the issue. Depends on the dynamics of the group as a whole.

 

[davereo]

If all else fails encourage him to take a good lead and really pull the group along. Inflate his ego as much as possible so that when you decide to take a cutoff along the way he will end up being the humbled rider looking for the pack./img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif

 

[BHOFM]

This is an easy one, just leave, start the ride half hour earlier and forget to tell him!
Next time, start later and forget again.

If he doesn't take the hint, just tell him to pack it up!

 

[ProdigalCyclist]

Originally Posted by Jim Moore .

If you're faster than him he's not the alpha male. You are. As such, you're authorized to tell him to shut the **** up.

THIS
+1

 

[64Paramount]

Originally Posted by ProdigalCyclist .






THIS
+1

And +2...

 

[turtlewoman]

I think that I would try to get him away from others and explain that this is a friendly ride and he's not welcome if he's going to make fun of others. I say that because I would be the slowest one on your ride I'm sure and I would like to have someone to champion me in a similiar situation. A##H***s are no fun for anybody and it's sounds like that's what he is!!!

 

[swampy1970]

If you're an unofficial ride leader ask the other riders what they think of this guy and whether they want to ride with him and if they dislike him as much as you then it's easy, just tell him that he's not welcome to ride with the group and wish him well finding a ride elseswhere.

 

[kdelong]

Originally Posted by swampy1970 .

If you're an unofficial ride leader ask the other riders what they think of this guy and whether they want to ride with him and if they dislike him as much as you then it's easy, just tell him that he's not welcome to ride with the group and wish him well finding a ride elseswhere.

Yeah, a group intervention is probably the best way to do it. That way you don't end up being the bad guy in all of this.

 

[ProdigalCyclist]

Originally Posted by kdelong .




Yeah, a group intervention is probably the best way to do it. That way you don't end up being the bad guy in all of this.

LOL... if that guy is as much as a diouche as what he sounds like... I would happily be the "bad guy" and tell him just exactly where to "sh*t and fall in it" (borrowing my father in law's favorite line)

I have no use for arrogant people who want to pick on the little guys... and the people "they precieve" to be of a "lower class" than them. I LOVE to get in the face of people like that... chances are, as big and loud as he makes himself sound... he's probably more of a coward than anything, if someone confronted him.

 

[davereo]

Originally Posted by kdelong .




Yeah, a group intervention is probably the best way to do it. That way you don't end up being the bad guy in all of this.

+1 for this and Swampys suggestion. A peaceful resolution is best for all invovled. After all you are just trying to have a fun group ride no need to put yourself into a confrontational situation. Just maybe he may come to understand that his behavior is not welcomed and he may take the high road or better yet see the light of day and fall into line with the rest of the group.

 

[An old Guy]

You do realize that the roads are public and that anyone can use them.

In addition, street justice on the roads seems to lead to serious legal problems.

But talk is cheap on the internet.

 

[BHOFM]

Originally Posted by An old Guy .

You do realize that the roads are public and that anyone can use them.

In addition, street justice on the roads seems to lead to serious legal problems.

But talk is cheap on the internet.

Read my first post!

 

[grandamn]

I wish I rode with an asshole like that. Talk about a motivation booster. If it got really bad or personal I would smack him in front of everyone.

 

[swampy1970]

Originally Posted by kdelong .




Yeah, a group intervention is probably the best way to do it. That way you don't end up being the bad guy in all of this.

I don't mind being percieved as the bad guy or 'as$hole' if that's the way it comes off if I'm the one to call someone out for something, but it's a group ride - not 'your ride' or 'my ride'. If noone else in the group has an issue with him then it's not really my place to tell the guy to take a running jump and feck off somewhere else and I'd just have a chat with him and let him know my personal thoughts on the matter.

 

[Bigbananabike]

Originally Posted by Jim Moore .

If you're faster than him he's not the alpha male. You are. As such, you're authorized to tell him to shut the **** up.

Oh no, I'm somewhere much further down the Greek alphabet! Theta...

Thanks for the suggestions. There might be a middle line there in what you've all said.

BBB ;-)

 

[ProdigalCyclist]

Originally Posted by Bigbananabike .





Oh no, I'm somewhere much further down the Greek alphabet! Theta...

Thanks for the suggestions. There might be a middle line there in what you've all said.

BBB ;-)

Ok.. faster or not... Alphpa, Beta, Cappa, Gama or what have you... it doesn't matter. If the guy is being a douche he's being a douche... plain.... simple.


Now I'm not sure how the other riders in the group feel, but from the description of the situation (where he was being an **** to the newer and slower riders) I'll bet you're not alone in your feelings about this guy. I think the best bet would be this (this is what I would do)

Talk to the others... feel them out on their feelings about this guy. See if there are others that feel the same... chances are there are others that feel them same. Now with that knowledge in my back pocket I'd let things roll until he's in the middle of being a complete *****... and then I would pounce on him HARSHLY. Tell him EXACTLY what he's doing to be a ***** and EXACTLY why it's unacceptable. I would verbally beat him until A) he shuts the f#%k up or B) he wants to be a tuff guy.

Now if he wants to be a tuff guy then that is where you gotta make your decision... it's very rarely that anyone ever really wants to (actually) be a tuff guy in my experience though.