"Old Mother Ashby" <
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> Could you perhaps arrange for them to come for meals at *your* place? When
> my mother started to lose it in the cooking department we started to think
> of all sorts of reasons why it was more convenient for them to come to us.
> At one stage they used to pay for the meat so honour was preserved, but we
> don't worry about that these days.
>
>
> Christine
I wouldn't put them in the "elderly" camp as far as mentally or physically.
They're older than we are, to be sure, but they aren't weak, infirm, or
addled.
As far as having them here for dinner, that's about a one-for-one thing. And
sometimes when we dine there, it's because she's invited another person or
couple, and she wants us as conversational fillers. So in those cases, the
dining has to be at their place.
The problem with having them here more often is that it's just so hard to
fit what they will eat into what I normally cook. Conversely, we're not
picky eaters. We like good food, but we aren't going to make a fuss at
somebody's house if they serve us fish sticks and tater tots. So she can
serve anything and we're fine, but having them here becomes an ordeal for
me.
They have a very narrow range of foods/cuisines/food styles/spices that
they'll eat, and it becomes a major undertaking to keep my head straight as
to what they'll eat and what they won't. In the end, I usually end up making
multiple things so that they're be able to assemble a full meal from what
I've put out. And I have to eliminate from the list all the things I know
they won't eat, which includes things that appear on our menu daily.
Either that, or I end up on the phone beforehand grilling them as to whether
they'll eat the things that I'm planning on making, and changing the menu
and spices and add-ons and preparation accordingly. And with every meal I
make, they seem to bring up yet another thing that they don't like. And of
course, there are things that one will eat that the other won't.
The things that they think are good, I don't care to cook or serve in my
home. Jarred Ragu, I'll eat at their house to be polite, but I'm not going
to serve it and eat it here. Even the foods that we cook in common are
prepared so differently (and that they seem to enjoy) at their house, it's
hard for me to figure out what they really like.
Quite frankly, they want to dine with us way more often than I'm willing to
go through that sort of preparation and brain damage. I work two weekends a
month, and even though I work from home, it doesn't give me the time or
mental energy those weekends to deal with shopping and cooking for them.
If they could come here and just eat the stuff we eat, that would be
different. But that's not going to happen. Right now I'm feeling a little
testy because they'll probably be coming here this Sunday and I'm struggling
to come up with something to serve. It may be hamburgers, because right now
I can't think of anything else. Which means I'll probably have to go buy
Kraft American cheese food for them. And canned baked beans.
We're related to these folks, they live close by, and other than food
things, we normally don't have problems with them. We actually like them and
enjoy their company. Our food styles are so far apart, though, that it's a
huge chasm to cross. Even restaurant choices are an issue. We end up going
to Country Buffet with them because they wouldn't go to any of the
restaurants that we like.
As far as our illness, this is two times out of the many we've eaten there,
and the "home-canned" beans are the likely culprit, which isn't necessarily
her fault -- she got them from someone else. They apparently didn't get sick
(or not enough to admit to it) and the other couple hasn't been heard from
since, so no clue there. And I was affected a lot more than DH, so whatever
it was, apparently I was most susceptible to it. The first time around, it
didn't hit me as hard as this time, so maybe the first time was just a
little indigestion, and this was a different thing.
Donna
