Most of us have been victms of at least one drive by shouting. For example, today I was riding home from work trying to make good time to beat the sunset. A few blocks from work at a stoplight some man making a right hand turn shouted loud and clear, "Get on the sidewalk - loser!" This was on a downhill stretch and I was going 25 to 30 mph at the time and the sidewalks had snow and ice; they weren't exactly safe at that speed. Generally I am pretty quick witted, but I couldn't think of anything constructive to say before he was out of earshot.
The remainder of the ride home I replayed the scene through my head thinking of snappy, witty comebacks. If somebody wants to take a little of the light from my day, I have no issues turning it around on them. I figure I will need to keep a list for the next opportunity, the challenge is to keep them short, entertaining, memorable and infuriating. Here are some of that I may try next time:
"Thanks for your concern, tough guy."
"How did you know I was on the biggest loser?"
"If you are winning, I want no part of it."
"Hey lady, mind your own business."
"Do you kiss your brother with those lips?"
"No sidewalk, your mom works there."
"Hurry home, you have more sitting to do."
"An insulting ass is winning?"
"Thanks, I was really confused with the whole sidewalk, road thingy."
"What? I couldn't hear you over your suck."
Or... just squirt my water bottle into their open window - which I have done before.
What comebacks can you think of, have you used any?