Cars Cars Cars

Can I key all those shiny Subaru's now?
Seriously, If they're not driving IN THE BIKE LANE, or OVER THE CURB, or PARKING THEIR STUPID SELVES IN THE CROSSWALK, they're HONKING AND YELLING because while I'm following traffic laws and looking out for my ass, they clearly never passed drivers ed.
#O.O
OMG
To signal for a good minute before crossing a crosswalk by an on-ramp only to have a car slow, stop and honk at me while the driver throws up her hands in exasperation.
My response to her; a grimacing mimic of her obscenely inappropriate gesture.
I have contemplated smacking or kicking cars who try to mow me over, or perhaps yelling back at all the rude drivers with no knowledge of traffic laws.
But the fact of the matter is, none of it would make me feel like I had gotten my proper vengeance.
I'm trying to decide now, if it's worth risking the lawsuits and crazy drivers to carry around a pole with a nail attached to it...These motorists drive me to INSANITY!!! It doesn't help that in the part of town I'm in, the stupid ones are EVERYWHERE...CONSTANTLY.
I came up with one serious idea though, to carry around bumper stickers with little sayings on them like
"This sticker is just here to cover a bloodstain"
or
"I cheated of the 'special' kid in drivers ed"
or
"Arrest me please"
or
"Idiot on board"

And just smack them right on to the offending car as hard as I can. I mean, what are they gonna do? Call the cops cuz a serial sticker slinger smacked them with something ironic while they were running a red light?

I realize to a certain extent, I'm a lil crazy...But am I THAT crazy to demand respect and caution on the road?

I checked on that years ago and found out that it is illegal in Ohio and probably California. You are not alowed to place bunper stickers on other people's cars without their consent. Otherwise it is considered criminal property damaging, a misdemenor which usually results in restitution for the removal of the sticker (can get pretty expensive if stuck to paint) and community service to deter future stickings.

My beef was with idiot fellow motorists. I was going to follow them home and sneak by late at night to affix a sticker saying "Caution-Dangerous Driver" in large red letters on their car.

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Where could I find information on that? Because I see your point, but I'm wondering if that is indeed the case for California, or if there might be any loop-holes.

1) Easy but expensive: talk to a lawyer
2) Cheap but time consuming: Read copy of California revised Code
3) Cheap but incriminating: Ask your Police Department

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One life, one chance. Don't waste it!