10 Commandments of Marriage

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Cipher, Jan 4, 2006.

  1. Cipher

    Cipher New Member

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    10 Commandments of Marriage





    Commandment 1
    Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

    Commandment 2
    If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every
    word you say; talk in your sleep.

    Commandment 3
    Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

    Commandment 4
    Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
    the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,
    the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year,
    they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    Commandment 5
    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can
    be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

    Commandment 6
    Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The
    trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

    Commandment 7
    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
    something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before
    you finish.

    Commandment 8
    Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
    economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

    Commandment 9
    Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why
    wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

    Commandment 10
    A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished
     
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  2. cyberlegend1994

    cyberlegend1994 Moderator

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    Good one....:D

    My wife's aunt told me about a clip from W.C. Fields when we announced our engagement - about the 3 stages of a marriage that resemble a 3-ring circus....

    Stage 1 - The Engagement Ring.
    Stage 2 - The Wedding Ring.
    Stage 3 - On your "paper" anniversary (the 1st one) - The SUFFER-RING!!!:D:D:eek::eek:

    BTW we've been married 5 years....
     
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