A bit of religious humor for Easter

Discussion in 'Food and nutrition' started by [email protected], Apr 9, 2006.

  1. Salutations, gentlefolk,

    The seminary professor called in the computer support tech, and
    told him
    "This morning I printed out the syllabus for my course on The
    Synoptic Gospels, and it came out fine.
    This afternoon I tried printing out the syllabus for my course in
    Postmodern Hermeneutics, and all I got was gibberish."

    The tech looked around, said
    "Well, what do you expect from a Canon printer ?"


    Happy Easter - or Passover or Beltane or (whatever you feel like
    celebratinog)

    Yours, John Desmond
     
    Tags:


  2. Rusty

    Rusty Guest

    Three Chinese astronauts die during a spaceflight and get to the Pearly
    Gates.

    St.Peter takes one look and says, "You guys can't come in here!"

    First Chinese astronaut says, "Why not ?"

    St. Peter says, "Because you are a bunch of heathens."

    The three Chinese astronauts look at each other, then at St.Peter and
    say, "NO-NO we good christens !"

    St. Peter says, "If you are such good Christians tell me what is Easter
    ?"

    First Chinese astronaut, "Ah Easter that easy, a big fat man with red
    suit go around and give toys to everybody!!!"

    St.Peter, "Sorry you are wrong. You guys have two chances left to get
    in here !!"

    Second Chinese astronaut, "Ok I know this one. Cook a big turkey and go
    around and say thank you , thank you, thank you !!!"

    St. Peter, "Wrong again!!! Last chance."

    Third Chinese astronaut, "Okay first you take a Jezzu Chrise and nail
    him to cross..."

    St Peter, "Go on,...."

    Third Chinese astronaut, "Then you take him down and put him in ground
    and roll up big rock !!"

    St. Peter, "Very good what happens then ?"

    Third Chinese astronaut, "After three day, roll away big rock. He come
    out and see shadow go back in 'Winter another six week' !!!!"

    -----

    Don't tell me, I already know, I'm going to hell for that one.

    ;-)

    -Rusty
     
  3. -L.

    -L. Guest

    Ranee Mueller wrote:
    > These are both very funny. I'm forwarding them on to our priests. :)
    >
    > Regards,
    > Ranee


    Yeah, they'll probably think ethinic stereotypes are really funny.

    -L.
     
  4. -L was dour:

    >> These are both very funny. I'm forwarding them on to our priests. :)

    >
    > Yeah, they'll probably think ethinic [sic] stereotypes are really funny.


    Okay, here's a better Easter joke for Ranee to tell her priests:

    As an ultimate test of his will power, a man decided to give up sex for
    Lent. Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed to support him in
    this effort.

    The first few weeks weren't too difficult. Things got tougher during the
    next couple of weeks, so the wife wore her dowdiest night clothes and chewed
    on garlic before going to bed. The last couple of weeks were extremely tough
    on the husband, so the wife took to locking the bedroom door and forcing the
    husband to sleep on the couch.

    Easter morning finally arrived. As the sun rose, a loud rapping was heard at
    the bedroom door.

    *RAP-RAP-RAP*

    Husband: "Guess who?"
    Wife: "I know who it is!"

    *RAP-RAP-RAP*

    Husband: "Guess what I want?"
    Wife: "I know what you want!"

    *RAP-RAP-RAP*

    Husband: "Guess what I'm knocking with?"


    Bob
     
  5. jj - rfc

    jj - rfc Guest

    One time on Usenet, "Bob Terwilliger" <[email protected]_spammer.biz> said:

    <snip>

    > As an ultimate test of his will power, a man decided to give up
    > sex for Lent. Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed
    > to support him in this effort.


    Heh, good one, Bob -- I sent this to DH, he'll enjoy it...

    --
    jj - rfc (Jani) in WA
    ~ mom, Trollop, novice cook ~
     
  6. "-L." wrote
    > Ranee Mueller wrote:
    >> These are both very funny. I'm forwarding them on to our priests. :)
    >>
    >> Regards,
    >> Ranee

    >
    > Yeah, they'll probably think ethinic stereotypes are really funny.
    >
    > -L.
    >

    Gee, I didn't didn't notice the ethnic stuff in the first joke. Maybe you
    can point it out to me?
     
  7. -L.

    -L. Guest

    Pam Jacoby & Ed Grabau wrote:
    > "-L." wrote
    > > Ranee Mueller wrote:
    > >> These are both very funny. I'm forwarding them on to our priests. :)
    > >>
    > >> Regards,
    > >> Ranee

    > >
    > > Yeah, they'll probably think ethinic stereotypes are really funny.
    > >
    > > -L.
    > >

    > Gee, I didn't didn't notice the ethnic stuff in the first joke. Maybe you
    > can point it out to me?


    It was in the second joke which is now missing (may have been
    x-n-a'ed). It included "broken" english supposedly spoken by Chinese
    nationals. Funny (not) how people think it's ok to mock "Chinese"
    accents and perpetuate the stereotype of SE Asians speaking in broken
    English when they wouldn't dream of passing along a joke using
    "ebonics" spoken by African Americans, or "broken English" spoken by
    Hispanics.

    Well, then again, maybe they would, and would think it's funny, too...

    -L.
     
  8. -L wrote:

    > It was in the second joke which is now missing (may have been
    > x-n-a'ed). It included "broken" english supposedly spoken by Chinese
    > nationals. Funny (not) how people think it's ok to mock "Chinese"
    > accents and perpetuate the stereotype of SE Asians speaking in broken
    > English when they wouldn't dream of passing along a joke using
    > "ebonics" spoken by African Americans, or "broken English" spoken by
    > Hispanics.
    >
    > Well, then again, maybe they would, and would think it's funny, too...



    Are you saying that SE Asians *don't* speak in broken English? If they *do*
    generally adopt those speech mannerisms, then using them in the joke adds to
    the joke's verisimilitude, and therefore to the magnitude of the humor in
    the joke.

    Moreover, I've seen PLENTY of jokes which mock the speech of black or
    Hispanic people; maybe you're just too sheltered to have a well-informed
    opinion.

    At any rate, take the broomstick out of your ass.

    Bob
    --
    ObFood Sig: "Have you ever noticed that pulling apart a grilled cheese
    sandwich is a potent allegory for poor feminine hygiene?" -- Geoff Miller
     
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