[Just be patient. This article *is* on-topic! :-)]
[ This is a repost of the following article: ] [ From:
[email hidden] (Eric A. Seiden) ] [ Subject: A Glimpse
Into The Future.... ] [ Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny ] [ Message-
ID: <[email hidden]> ]
Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your
national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742
Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your
office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302, and
your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling
from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this
information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of
your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've
got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an
unhealthy choice."
Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure
you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something
like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes'
from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made
the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right . Give me two family-sized
ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay
in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before
your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking
account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the
cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be
about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want
to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but
carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car
payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid
up.
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause
prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."
[Note - I found a reference to the author being "Rick Card",
but I've been unable to locate him - ed.]
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