A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies

Well Timed!

It seems all cut and dried. Laurent Fignon had just confirmed his place among the hierarchy of the
world's professional cyclist by winning the 51st Grand Prix des Nations, the classic time trial,
here in Cannes, the swankiest town on the French Riviera. Despite a deluge of unseasonable rain
being dumped on the palm-fringed La Croisette on this late September Sunday afternoon, the
straw-haired Fignon quickly returns to the finish line and wipes the lenses of his silver-rimmed
glasses before a TV interview. As he rolls to a stop, the speaker confirms that Fignon's time of
2:04:26 is the fastest for the 89 km (55-mile) course, just 13 seconds better than his younger
French rival Jean-Francois Bernard of La Vie Claire.

There are only two more riders to finish: Sean Kelly and Charly Mottet, who started respectively
thee and six minutes after Fignon, the two-time Tour de France winner in search of success after a
disappointing season. But it seems that neither of these men has a chance of displacing Fignon. At
the last time-check, 14.5 km (nine-miles) from the finish, we know that motet was lying sixth 1:35
down and Kelly was second, at 38 seconds. It seems a tall order for the Irishman to overcome such a
nig deficit in such a short distance. But Kelly is a man who never gives up easily. We catch a
glimpse of him on the TV monitor: a plume of water spewing from his rear wheel as he wildly races
along the coast road in the surreal yellow glow of his team car's lights. Perhaps he was thinking of
another time trial, in the 1984 Tour de France, when the yellow-jerseyed Fignon was adjudged to have
beaten Kelly by 19-hundredths of a second after 51 km of effort. The thick black clouds have turned
day into night; a cold wind has replaced a mild breeze that blew across the near-naked bodies being
tanned on the beach two hours ago.

We asked Kelly as he warmed up on his regular road bike why he wasn't using a low-profile machine
or a disc wheel like some of his opponents for this ultimate time trial. Looking to the sky,
pointing out clouds in the distance, he said, "It's going to rain, isn't it? Those bikes are
dangerous in the wet." It seemed he had made a good choice when Kelly topped the first climb to
Vallauris after 13.5 km with the best time of the 21 starters, a fraction of a second faster than
the Gitane Delta-mounted Fignon, with Bernard third at eight second, and Mottet, fourth at 0:12. A
third Systeme U rider, Martial Gayant, entered the picture at the 30 km check, which he passed in
43:50, eight seconds down on teammate Fignon, and three seconds ahead of Kelly. It seemed we were
in for a close battle over the two hilly laps of the Cannes circuit. But while Gayant was
completing his first lap in the dry, with an excellent halfway time of 1:00:56, rain was already
falling up in the hills.

"It just started raining as I hit the descent," said Kelly later. "It was very dangerous. I was
going slowly because my two wheels were slipping all over the place." When the TV camera turned to
Kelly completing his first lap, making the 180-degree turn at the end of the marina at walking pace
a colleague wondered aloud, "Has Kelly stopped racing? He can't be going that slow." But the
world's number one, striving for he points that would take him ahead of Greg LeMond in the Super
Prestige Pernod competition, was indeed racing, although his 44.5 km time of 1:01:44 relegated him
to ninth place in the event. Was this the ride of a winner? In contrast, Fignon had maintained his
steady performance, and was in second place, only six seconds slower than Gayant, and 42 seconds
ahead of Kelly.

But the Irishman was far from beaten. Up the Vallauris hill again he maintained his margin vis-à-vis
Fignon, who retook the lead by 11 seconds from Gayant despite a tumble at the foot of the climb,
while Kelly moved up to fifth. It was then that the Kas-Mavic star began to turn on his power. "With
the roads completely awash, my tires were gripping better than before, and I felt strong," he
explained. Over the 16 km of twists, turns, dips and rises on the highest part of the course, Kelly
went faster than all the others to pull up to that second place, although still those 39 seconds
behind Fignon.

Here, at the finish line, everyone is convinced that Fignon has won, even the five-time winner
Bernard Hinault who is giving his expert comments on French TV. But Kelly is not the world number
one for nothing. He is a fierce competitor who is not afraid to take risks when he can see a chance
of victory, whether that risk is in an elbow-to-elbow sprint finish or, in this case, in negotiating
a narrow, plunging four km descent from the village of La Roquette-sur-Sartoux. Ignoring the
torrential rain, the freezing wind and the limited visibility and the pain from racing at a speed
few cyclists can attain, Kelly is beginning to eat in to his deficit. "I knew that I was 40 seconds
down at the last check, so I gave it everything I had," he said. "I felt I had a fair bit left. If
you don't feel strong you can't go any faster."

As the clock ticks on, and Fignon continues his interview, we see the lights across the curving bay.
It must be Kelly making that final turn. Gasping, we realize that he still has a chance of winning.
His phenomenal strength and willpower have taken him within shooting distance of victory. Now he
will need his phenomenal speed to carry him through. Out of the saddle, sprinting on a gear of 53 x
13 (110 inches), he comes zooming out of the gloom. A final thrust, his head lifting into the wall
of rain as he throws his bike across the line, he sends a ripple of silence through the drenched
crowd. Had he done it? What is his time? The speaker keeps us waiting. And then, we hear, "Le temps
de Laurent Fignon est 2:04:26. Sean Kelly a realize.2 heures, 4 minutes.et 21 secondes! Le
vainqueur: Sean Kelly!"

51st Grand Prix des Nations

Cannes, September 28, 1986

89 km

1 Sean Kelly (Ire), Kas-Mavic - 2:04:21 (42.943 kmh)

2 Laurent Fignon (F), Systeme U - 2:04:26

3 Jean-Francois Bernard (F), La Vie Claire - 2:04:39

4 Charly Mottet (F), Systeme U - 2:05:34

5 Toni Rominger (Swit), Cilo - 2:05:56

6 Gilbert Duclos-Lassalle (F), Peugeot - 2:05:58

7 Martial Gayant (F), Systeme U - 2:05:58

8 Patrice Esnault (F), Kas-Mavic - 2:06:02

9 Jesper Worre (Dk), Santini - 2:06:50

10 Claude Criquielion (B), Hitachi - 2:07:09

Winning Magazine No. 42, January 1987.

 

>Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]

<Boring stuff snipped.....>

Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:

http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12

This just might be the best thing ever written.

-----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!

 

>From: [email protected] (Sharon Peters)

>>Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
>
><Boring stuff snipped.....>
>
>Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
>
>http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
>
>This just might be the best thing ever written.
>
>
>-----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!
>
God, I hope Mike keeps posting here. This is some seriously good shit. Maybe when he finishes racing
O'Grady oughta take him on as an apprentice. Bill C.

 

WOW!

Another Mike Jones post. How clever.

Yea, Mike Jones is pretty funny and I read his diary every day, but are you on his payroll or are
you his fucking girlfriend?

"Sharon Peters" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> >Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
>
> <Boring stuff snipped.....>
>
> Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
>
> http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
>
> This just might be the best thing ever written.
>
>
> -----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!

 

On 1/31/03 7:03 PM, in article [email protected], "Sharon Peters"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>> Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
>
> <Boring stuff snipped.....>
>
> Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
>
> http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
>
> This just might be the best thing ever written.

why?

>
>
> -----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!

 

On 1/31/03 8:23 PM, in article [email protected], "[email protected]"
<[email protected]> wrote:

> WOW!
>
> Another Mike Jones post. How clever.
>
> Yea, Mike Jones is pretty funny and I read his diary every day, but are you on his payroll or are
> you his fucking girlfriend?
>
> "Sharon Peters" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>> Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
>>
>> <Boring stuff snipped.....>
>>
>> Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
>>
>> http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
>>
>> This just might be the best thing ever written.
>>
>>
>> -----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!
>
>

yea........... With her "Performance" brand strap-on??

 

I guess this pretty well sums up the intellect of this group. You post a great piece of writing
about a great race and Sharing Peters tells us that Mike Jones is better. Now, Mike Jones, don't
take this too hard but I have a cat that can write better than you. And he has a larger vocabulary.

<[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
>
> It seems all cut and dried. Laurent Fignon had just confirmed his
place
> among the hierarchy of the world's professional cyclist by winning
the 51st
> Grand Prix des Nations, the classic time trial, here in Cannes, the

Etc. Great story go read it yourself.

 

>Subject: Re: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: "Tom Kunich" [email protected]
>Date: 2/1/2003 4:43 PM Mountain Standard Time Message-id:
><[email protected]>
>
>I guess this pretty well sums up the intellect of this group. You post a great piece of writing
>about a great race and Sharing Peters tells us that Mike Jones is better. Now, Mike Jones, don't
>take this too hard but I have a cat that can write better than you. And he has a larger vocabulary.
>

Thomas,

"Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are incapable of speech, therefore
unable to maintain a vocabulary.

Mike Jones

 

Mike Jones wrote:

> "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are incapable of speech, therefore
> unable to maintain a vocabulary.

Interesting point. Copies of the FOXP2 gene postulated to be responsible for the development of
speech in humans have been discovered in domestic felines. So, as with all things cat-like, while
cats _may_ possess the ability for speech, they just _choose not to_.

Referring to my Scrabble word lists for a second, it is not surprising that humans find difficulty
with cat speak. For the simplest feline utterance, there are the following human approximations:
MIAOU, MIAOW, MEOU, MEOW, MIAUL, MEW, MEWL. In fact, MIAOUED is one of only 5 7-letter words in
English that contain all the vowels. Scrabble players like cats, mostly for this reason.

STF (Dog person, reformed cat person. The cat that trained my retriever has a lot to answer for.)

 

"Mike Jones" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

> "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are incapable
of
> speech, therefore unable to maintain a vocabulary.

Mikey, Take it easy on Tommy. He keeps a cat because it the only pussy he'll ever get close to.

 

"Mike Jones" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> >Subject: Re: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: "Tom Kunich"
> >[email protected] Date: 2/1/2003 4:43 PM Mountain Standard Time Message-id:
<[email protected]>
> >
> >I guess this pretty well sums up the intellect of this group. You
post
> >a great piece of writing about a great race and Sharing Peters
tells
> >us that Mike Jones is better. Now, Mike Jones, don't take this too hard but I have a cat that can
> >write better than you. And he has a larger vocabulary.
> >
>
> Thomas,
>
> "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are
incapable of
> speech, therefore unable to maintain a vocabulary.

Mike, I note that you can write with out the "Hey, Dude" inflection when you want to. All I suggest
is that you write in a manner that doesn't disgrace your capabilities. It really isn't cool to
write like you're a third grade dropout. But I'm sure would lose you your main audience (Lord,
Sharing Peters is an audience you'd want?) and perhaps your business sense is better in that regard
than mine.

 

On Sat, 01 Feb 2003 01:27:03 GMT, <[email protected]> wrote:

>
>
>Winning Magazine No. 42, January 1987.
>
Very entertaining - thanks.

Cheers! Stephen www.scuonline.org/forum/ scottish cyclists talkin