A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by catbsq, Jan 31, 2003.

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  1. catbsq

    catbsq Guest

    Well Timed!

    It seems all cut and dried. Laurent Fignon had just confirmed his place among the hierarchy of the
    world's professional cyclist by winning the 51st Grand Prix des Nations, the classic time trial,
    here in Cannes, the swankiest town on the French Riviera. Despite a deluge of unseasonable rain
    being dumped on the palm-fringed La Croisette on this late September Sunday afternoon, the
    straw-haired Fignon quickly returns to the finish line and wipes the lenses of his silver-rimmed
    glasses before a TV interview. As he rolls to a stop, the speaker confirms that Fignon's time of
    2:04:26 is the fastest for the 89 km (55-mile) course, just 13 seconds better than his younger
    French rival Jean-Francois Bernard of La Vie Claire.

    There are only two more riders to finish: Sean Kelly and Charly Mottet, who started respectively
    thee and six minutes after Fignon, the two-time Tour de France winner in search of success after a
    disappointing season. But it seems that neither of these men has a chance of displacing Fignon. At
    the last time-check, 14.5 km (nine-miles) from the finish, we know that motet was lying sixth 1:35
    down and Kelly was second, at 38 seconds. It seems a tall order for the Irishman to overcome such a
    nig deficit in such a short distance. But Kelly is a man who never gives up easily. We catch a
    glimpse of him on the TV monitor: a plume of water spewing from his rear wheel as he wildly races
    along the coast road in the surreal yellow glow of his team car's lights. Perhaps he was thinking of
    another time trial, in the 1984 Tour de France, when the yellow-jerseyed Fignon was adjudged to have
    beaten Kelly by 19-hundredths of a second after 51 km of effort. The thick black clouds have turned
    day into night; a cold wind has replaced a mild breeze that blew across the near-naked bodies being
    tanned on the beach two hours ago.

    We asked Kelly as he warmed up on his regular road bike why he wasn't using a low-profile machine
    or a disc wheel like some of his opponents for this ultimate time trial. Looking to the sky,
    pointing out clouds in the distance, he said, "It's going to rain, isn't it? Those bikes are
    dangerous in the wet." It seemed he had made a good choice when Kelly topped the first climb to
    Vallauris after 13.5 km with the best time of the 21 starters, a fraction of a second faster than
    the Gitane Delta-mounted Fignon, with Bernard third at eight second, and Mottet, fourth at 0:12. A
    third Systeme U rider, Martial Gayant, entered the picture at the 30 km check, which he passed in
    43:50, eight seconds down on teammate Fignon, and three seconds ahead of Kelly. It seemed we were
    in for a close battle over the two hilly laps of the Cannes circuit. But while Gayant was
    completing his first lap in the dry, with an excellent halfway time of 1:00:56, rain was already
    falling up in the hills.

    "It just started raining as I hit the descent," said Kelly later. "It was very dangerous. I was
    going slowly because my two wheels were slipping all over the place." When the TV camera turned to
    Kelly completing his first lap, making the 180-degree turn at the end of the marina at walking pace
    a colleague wondered aloud, "Has Kelly stopped racing? He can't be going that slow." But the
    world's number one, striving for he points that would take him ahead of Greg LeMond in the Super
    Prestige Pernod competition, was indeed racing, although his 44.5 km time of 1:01:44 relegated him
    to ninth place in the event. Was this the ride of a winner? In contrast, Fignon had maintained his
    steady performance, and was in second place, only six seconds slower than Gayant, and 42 seconds
    ahead of Kelly.

    But the Irishman was far from beaten. Up the Vallauris hill again he maintained his margin vis-à-vis
    Fignon, who retook the lead by 11 seconds from Gayant despite a tumble at the foot of the climb,
    while Kelly moved up to fifth. It was then that the Kas-Mavic star began to turn on his power. "With
    the roads completely awash, my tires were gripping better than before, and I felt strong," he
    explained. Over the 16 km of twists, turns, dips and rises on the highest part of the course, Kelly
    went faster than all the others to pull up to that second place, although still those 39 seconds
    behind Fignon.

    Here, at the finish line, everyone is convinced that Fignon has won, even the five-time winner
    Bernard Hinault who is giving his expert comments on French TV. But Kelly is not the world number
    one for nothing. He is a fierce competitor who is not afraid to take risks when he can see a chance
    of victory, whether that risk is in an elbow-to-elbow sprint finish or, in this case, in negotiating
    a narrow, plunging four km descent from the village of La Roquette-sur-Sartoux. Ignoring the
    torrential rain, the freezing wind and the limited visibility and the pain from racing at a speed
    few cyclists can attain, Kelly is beginning to eat in to his deficit. "I knew that I was 40 seconds
    down at the last check, so I gave it everything I had," he said. "I felt I had a fair bit left. If
    you don't feel strong you can't go any faster."

    As the clock ticks on, and Fignon continues his interview, we see the lights across the curving bay.
    It must be Kelly making that final turn. Gasping, we realize that he still has a chance of winning.
    His phenomenal strength and willpower have taken him within shooting distance of victory. Now he
    will need his phenomenal speed to carry him through. Out of the saddle, sprinting on a gear of 53 x
    13 (110 inches), he comes zooming out of the gloom. A final thrust, his head lifting into the wall
    of rain as he throws his bike across the line, he sends a ripple of silence through the drenched
    crowd. Had he done it? What is his time? The speaker keeps us waiting. And then, we hear, "Le temps
    de Laurent Fignon est 2:04:26. Sean Kelly a realize.2 heures, 4 minutes.et 21 secondes! Le
    vainqueur: Sean Kelly!"

    51st Grand Prix des Nations

    Cannes, September 28, 1986

    89 km

    1 Sean Kelly (Ire), Kas-Mavic - 2:04:21 (42.943 kmh)

    2 Laurent Fignon (F), Systeme U - 2:04:26

    3 Jean-Francois Bernard (F), La Vie Claire - 2:04:39

    4 Charly Mottet (F), Systeme U - 2:05:34

    5 Toni Rominger (Swit), Cilo - 2:05:56

    6 Gilbert Duclos-Lassalle (F), Peugeot - 2:05:58

    7 Martial Gayant (F), Systeme U - 2:05:58

    8 Patrice Esnault (F), Kas-Mavic - 2:06:02

    9 Jesper Worre (Dk), Santini - 2:06:50

    10 Claude Criquielion (B), Hitachi - 2:07:09

    Winning Magazine No. 42, January 1987.
     
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  2. >Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]

    <Boring stuff snipped.....>

    Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:

    http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12

    This just might be the best thing ever written.

    -----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!
     
  3. Tritonrider

    Tritonrider Guest

    >From: [email protected] (Sharon Peters)

    >>Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
    >
    ><Boring stuff snipped.....>
    >
    >Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
    >
    >http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
    >
    >This just might be the best thing ever written.
    >
    >
    >-----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!
    >
    God, I hope Mike keeps posting here. This is some seriously good shit. Maybe when he finishes racing
    O'Grady oughta take him on as an apprentice. Bill C.
     
  4. catbsq

    catbsq Guest

    WOW!

    Another Mike Jones post. How clever.

    Yea, Mike Jones is pretty funny and I read his diary every day, but are you on his payroll or are
    you his fucking girlfriend?

    "Sharon Peters" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > >Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
    >
    > <Boring stuff snipped.....>
    >
    > Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
    >
    > http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
    >
    > This just might be the best thing ever written.
    >
    >
    > -----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!
     
  5. Steve

    Steve Guest

  6. Steve

    Steve Guest

    On 1/31/03 8:23 PM, in article [email protected], "[email protected]"
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    > WOW!
    >
    > Another Mike Jones post. How clever.
    >
    > Yea, Mike Jones is pretty funny and I read his diary every day, but are you on his payroll or are
    > you his fucking girlfriend?
    >
    > "Sharon Peters" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    >>> Subject: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: [email protected]
    >>
    >> <Boring stuff snipped.....>
    >>
    >> Dude- if you want a real bedtime story check this out:
    >>
    >> http://spokepost.com/diary/jones/?articleID=12
    >>
    >> This just might be the best thing ever written.
    >>
    >>
    >> -----Sharon Peters Personal Trainer to the Stars-------- Remove "No Junk" to reply please!!!
    >
    >

    yea........... With her "Performance" brand strap-on??
     
  7. Tom Kunich

    Tom Kunich Guest

    I guess this pretty well sums up the intellect of this group. You post a great piece of writing
    about a great race and Sharing Peters tells us that Mike Jones is better. Now, Mike Jones, don't
    take this too hard but I have a cat that can write better than you. And he has a larger vocabulary.

    <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    >
    > It seems all cut and dried. Laurent Fignon had just confirmed his
    place
    > among the hierarchy of the world's professional cyclist by winning
    the 51st
    > Grand Prix des Nations, the classic time trial, here in Cannes, the

    Etc. Great story go read it yourself.
     
  8. Mike Jones

    Mike Jones Guest

    >Subject: Re: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: "Tom Kunich" [email protected]
    >Date: 2/1/2003 4:43 PM Mountain Standard Time Message-id:
    ><[email protected]>
    >
    >I guess this pretty well sums up the intellect of this group. You post a great piece of writing
    >about a great race and Sharing Peters tells us that Mike Jones is better. Now, Mike Jones, don't
    >take this too hard but I have a cat that can write better than you. And he has a larger vocabulary.
    >

    Thomas,

    "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are incapable of speech, therefore
    unable to maintain a vocabulary.

    Mike Jones
     
  9. Mike Jones wrote:

    > "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are incapable of speech, therefore
    > unable to maintain a vocabulary.

    Interesting point. Copies of the FOXP2 gene postulated to be responsible for the development of
    speech in humans have been discovered in domestic felines. So, as with all things cat-like, while
    cats _may_ possess the ability for speech, they just _choose not to_.

    Referring to my Scrabble word lists for a second, it is not surprising that humans find difficulty
    with cat speak. For the simplest feline utterance, there are the following human approximations:
    MIAOU, MIAOW, MEOU, MEOW, MIAUL, MEW, MEWL. In fact, MIAOUED is one of only 5 7-letter words in
    English that contain all the vowels. Scrabble players like cats, mostly for this reason.

    STF (Dog person, reformed cat person. The cat that trained my retriever has a lot to answer for.)
     
  10. Tim Mullin

    Tim Mullin Guest

    "Mike Jones" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...

    > "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are incapable
    of
    > speech, therefore unable to maintain a vocabulary.

    Mikey, Take it easy on Tommy. He keeps a cat because it the only pussy he'll ever get close to.
     
  11. Tom Kunich

    Tom Kunich Guest

    "Mike Jones" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > >Subject: Re: A Happy Bedtime story for all the RBR kiddies From: "Tom Kunich"
    > >[email protected] Date: 2/1/2003 4:43 PM Mountain Standard Time Message-id:
    <[email protected]>
    > >
    > >I guess this pretty well sums up the intellect of this group. You
    post
    > >a great piece of writing about a great race and Sharing Peters
    tells
    > >us that Mike Jones is better. Now, Mike Jones, don't take this too hard but I have a cat that can
    > >write better than you. And he has a larger vocabulary.
    > >
    >
    > Thomas,
    >
    > "Cats", domesticated representatives of the family Felidae, are
    incapable of
    > speech, therefore unable to maintain a vocabulary.

    Mike, I note that you can write with out the "Hey, Dude" inflection when you want to. All I suggest
    is that you write in a manner that doesn't disgrace your capabilities. It really isn't cool to
    write like you're a third grade dropout. But I'm sure would lose you your main audience (Lord,
    Sharing Peters is an audience you'd want?) and perhaps your business sense is better in that regard
    than mine.
     
  12. On Sat, 01 Feb 2003 01:27:03 GMT, <[email protected]> wrote:

    >
    >
    >Winning Magazine No. 42, January 1987.
    >
    Very entertaining - thanks.

    Cheers! Stephen www.scuonline.org/forum/ scottish cyclists talkin
     
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