A rabbi and a priest

Discussion in 'Food and nutrition' started by Sheldon, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Sheldon

    Sheldon Guest

    are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    on a
    park bench.
    "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

    anon


    Sheldon
     
    Tags:


  2. In article <[email protected]>,
    "Sheldon" <[email protected]> wrote:

    > are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    > on a
    > park bench.
    > "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    > "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
    >
    > anon
    >
    >
    > Sheldon
    >


    Cute, but this one is better:


    BEWARE OF BLOND GENIES


    A white guy is walking along the beach when he sees a lamp partially
    buried  in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
    genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The
    guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies > disappear.

    The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded
    by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to
    explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he
    looks down
    and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the
    door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku
    Klux Klan outfits They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw  a
    rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the
    Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde
    genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the
    first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make
    love to. I can also understand him  wanting to be a millionaire . . .
    but why he wanted to be hung like a  black man is beyond me."
    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  3. jay

    jay Guest

    On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:55:46 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

    > In article <[email protected]>,
    > "Sheldon" <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    >> on a
    >> park bench.
    >> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    >> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
    >>
    >> anon
    >>
    >>
    >> Sheldon
    >>

    >
    > Cute, but this one is better:



    Hardy har..
     
  4. Lisa Ann

    Lisa Ann Guest

    "OmManiPadmeOmelet" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]

    <snipped cute joke>

    Thanks, Om...my boyfriend would say thanks too, but he has to go wipe the
    Mountain Dew up that he just spewed everywhere.

    Lisa Ann
     
  5. notbob

    notbob Guest

    On 2006-01-30, Sheldon <[email protected]> wrote:
    > are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    > on a
    > park bench.
    > "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    > "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.



    A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
    "What is this, some sort of a joke?"

    nb
     
  6. In article <[email protected]>,
    jay <[email protected]> wrote:

    > On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:55:46 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
    >
    > > In article <[email protected]>,
    > > "Sheldon" <[email protected]> wrote:
    > >
    > >> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    > >> on a
    > >> park bench.
    > >> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    > >> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
    > >>
    > >> anon
    > >>
    > >>
    > >> Sheldon
    > >>

    > >
    > > Cute, but this one is better:

    >
    >
    > Hardy har..


    ;-)
    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  7. In article <[email protected]>,
    "Lisa Ann" <[email protected]> wrote:

    > "OmManiPadmeOmelet" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]
    >
    > <snipped cute joke>
    >
    > Thanks, Om...my boyfriend would say thanks too, but he has to go wipe the
    > Mountain Dew up that he just spewed everywhere.
    >
    > Lisa Ann
    >
    >


    <lol!>
    Thanks... ;-D
    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  8. In article <[email protected]>,
    notbob <[email protected]> wrote:

    > On 2006-01-30, Sheldon <[email protected]> wrote:
    > > are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    > > on a
    > > park bench.
    > > "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    > > "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

    >
    >
    > A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
    > "What is this, some sort of a joke?"
    >
    > nb


    ROFL!!!
    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  9. Peter Aitken

    Peter Aitken Guest

    "OmManiPadmeOmelet" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    >
    > Cute, but this one is better:
    >
    >
    > BEWARE OF BLOND GENIES
    >
    >
    > A white guy is walking along the beach when he sees a lamp partially
    > buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
    > genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The
    > guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies > disappear.
    >
    > The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded
    > by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to
    > explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he
    > looks down
    > and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the
    > door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku
    > Klux Klan outfits They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a
    > rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the
    > Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde
    > genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the
    > first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make
    > love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire . . .
    > but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
    > --


    I understand that you can get used senses of humor, cheap, at the morgue.

    --
    Peter Aitken
    Visit my recipe and kitchen myths page at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm
     
  10. Peter Aitken

    Peter Aitken Guest

    "notbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    > On 2006-01-30, Sheldon <[email protected]> wrote:
    >> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    >> on a
    >> park bench.
    >> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    >> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

    >
    >
    > A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
    > "What is this, some sort of a joke?"
    >
    > nb


    Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.


    --
    Peter Aitken
     
  11. "Sheldon" <[email protected]> looking for trouble wrote in
    news:[email protected]:

    > are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    > on a
    > park bench.
    > "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    > "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
    >
    > anon
    >
    >
    > Sheldon
    >


    Groan.... ;)

    Michael

    --
    “It requires a certain kind of mind to see beauty in a hamburger bun.”
    _Ray Kroc, creator of the McDonald's franchise
     
  12. In article <[email protected]>,
    "Peter Aitken" <[email protected]> wrote:

    > I understand that you can get used senses of humor, cheap, at the morgue.
    >
    > --
    > Peter Aitken
    > Visit my recipe and kitchen myths page at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm


    Thank you. <bows>

    But I did find Shel's joke funny... ;-)

    Cheers!
    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  13. notbob

    notbob Guest

    On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken <[email protected]> wrote:

    > Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.


    A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
    "Is the bartender, here?".

    nb
     
  14. "notbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    > On 2006-01-30, Sheldon <[email protected]> wrote:
    >> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
    >> on a
    >> park bench.
    >> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
    >> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

    >
    >
    > A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
    > "What is this, some sort of a joke?"
    >
    > nb


    Ah, now THAT is indeed a joke!

    Felice
     
  15. In article <[email protected]>,
    notbob <[email protected]> wrote:

    > On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > > Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.

    >
    > A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
    > "Is the bartender, here?".
    >
    > nb


    Boo, hiss. ;-D
    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  16. notbob wrote:

    > On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > > Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.

    >
    > A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
    > "Is the bartender, here?".



    [This was purportedly Ronald Reagan's fave joke...]

    A black guy with his pet parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The
    bartender looks at him and says, "Where'd you get him?". The parrot
    replies, "Africa!"...

    --
    Best
    Greg
     
  17. Michael "Dog3" Lonergan wrote:

    > Groan.... ;)



    Names

    A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in,
    he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck,"
    he says to himself, I really want a drink."

    When the gay waiter approaches, he says to
    the cowboy, "What's the name of your love tool?"
    The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that.
    All I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry
    but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of
    your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the
    slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the
    bar calls his Snickers, because 'It Really Satisfies'."

    The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender
    tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
    So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left,
    who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the
    name of yours?"

    The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX."
    The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella
    proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps
    on tickin'!"

    A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
    his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
    says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
    turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
    because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
    "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

    Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for
    a moment before he comes up with a name for
    his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender
    and exclaims, "The name of my male member is
    'SECRET'. Now give me a beer."

    The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a
    beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why
    Secret?"

    The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG
    ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR
    A WOMAN!"

    </>
     
  18. Seen that one, but it's worth a re-run...... ;-D



    In article <[email protected]>,
    "Gregory Morrow"

    > Names
    >
    > A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in,
    > he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck,"
    > he says to himself, I really want a drink."
    >
    > When the gay waiter approaches, he says to
    > the cowboy, "What's the name of your love tool?"
    > The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that.
    > All I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry
    > but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of
    > your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the
    > slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the
    > bar calls his Snickers, because 'It Really Satisfies'."
    >
    > The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender
    > tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
    > So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left,
    > who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the
    > name of yours?"
    >
    > The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX."
    > The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella
    > proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps
    > on tickin'!"
    >
    > A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
    > his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
    > says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
    > turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
    > because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
    > "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
    >
    > Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for
    > a moment before he comes up with a name for
    > his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender
    > and exclaims, "The name of my male member is
    > 'SECRET'. Now give me a beer."
    >
    > The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a
    > beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why
    > Secret?"
    >
    > The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG
    > ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR
    > A WOMAN!"
    >
    > </>

    --
    Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  19. Shaun aRe

    Shaun aRe Guest

    "notbob" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    > On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >> Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.

    >
    > A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
    > "Is the bartender, here?".
    >
    > nb


    ',;~}~

    This man, he walks into a bar: "Ouch!"






    Shaun aRe
     
  20. -L.

    -L. Guest

    Gregory Morrow wrote:
    >
    >
    > [This was purportedly Ronald Reagan's fave joke...]


    Why does that not surprise me at all...?

    >
    > A black guy with his pet parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The
    > bartender looks at him and says, "Where'd you get him?". The parrot
    > replies, "Africa!"...


    Yeah, really funny. Asshole.


    -L.
     
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