A Vicious Attack

Discussion in 'rec.sport.unicycling' started by TheoELind, Apr 27, 2006.

  1. TheoELind

    TheoELind Guest

    I was riding home enjoying the wonderful spring weather with a
    lackadaisical rhythm to my pedal strokes. I had a cadence that flowed
    with everything, from my heartbeat to the rustling of trees to my
    unswerving breaths to the whistling of the wind around my ears. It was
    more like I was floating along, my unicycle and I moving together. I
    wasn’t steering it, and it wasn’t steering me. I kept
    lulling my head a little to the side so that I could see the clear blue
    sky as I drifted along. I became hypnotized by the tranquility of the
    moment, lost in utter bliss.

    And then the mood was shattered and I was snatched back to reality
    by a noise foreign to anything in my reverie. I quickly identified it
    was a bicycle chain clicking as the rider coasted. I could tell from
    the reflection of the sound that he was coming up behind me on the
    street. I didn’t know why he sounded so close, but I reacted as I
    would for a motorist, and steered over as close to the parked cars
    along the side of the street as I dared. As I waited for him to pass I
    tried to reclaim my nirvana. There was a muffled squeal as the cyclist
    behind me squeezed his breaks.

    I kept riding, a little perplexed as to why he would stay directly
    behind me for so long just to slow down now, but then again, people do
    weird things around unicyclists. I tried to slip back into my daze only
    to be disturbed, again, by the bicyclist. This time he was pedaling
    much faster and closing in on me rapidly, so I swerved back even closer
    to the parked cars and waved for him to just pass already, but instead
    my motion was greeted by the squeal of breaks.

    By now my harmony ride was nothing more than a posthumous memory and
    befuddlement was quickly flooding my conscious mind. I turned back for
    the first time to see who was haunting my wake. It was a complete
    stranger so I turned back around hoping he’d leave.

    He didn’t leave. He decided to take the irritation level up a
    notch by yelling out: “Someday you’ll get your ass jumped
    for riding that shit through here!”

    I didn’t respond. I knew that I deserved to be left alone, I
    knew that this was my daily commute, I knew that the guy behind me was
    a jackass, but I also knew that anything I could have said right then
    would have either enraged him or confused him, and either way the
    results wouldn’t turn out well for me.

    Apparently I was still wrong. By ignoring him I had somehow insulted
    him, so he proceeded to ride as fast he could in the quarter of a
    block’s distance separating us. I figured that no mature human
    would be brainless enough to do what it sounded like he was about to
    do. So I did nothing.

    And that was another mistake. I was hit by 200lb of slow-witted,
    teenage biker with enough sense to test out a scratch-and-sniff at the
    bottom of Puget Sound. First I was hit by his shoulder/ handlebars (not
    quite sure which) in the saddle which started to throw me forward and
    to the right (based on the angle at which he hit me). And immediately
    after that, his right pedal thrust into the back of my left ankle
    pulling my foot off the pedal and throwing me completely off balance to
    go crashing into a parked car. My right elbow hit a door handle and a
    caught myself with the mirror. I stood up to see the kid riding off as
    fast as he could.

    My unicycle is fine (it was the first thing I checked), and
    I’m alright except for a sore ankle and elbow. I still cannot
    picture any of his motives and certainly no justification for his

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  2. albino_gumby

    albino_gumby Guest

    You sure have a way with words. You should consider writing. Although i
    can't share experiences to that degree i can sympathise with your pain,
    200lb slow-witted bikers hurt. I used to ride bmx before i relized i
    sucked so i switched to a much easier extreme sport....

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  3. john_childs

    john_childs Guest

    TheoELind wrote:
    > My unicycle is fine (it was the first thing I checked), and I’m
    > alright except for a sore ankle and elbow. I still cannot picture any
    > of his motives and certainly no justification for his actions.

    Be glad he wasn't driving a car.

    Karma may catch up to him and he may find himself one day on the
    receiving end of a hit and run with a car when he's on his bike.


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  4. Eddbmxdude

    Eddbmxdude Guest

    When i hear things like this it makes me really angry! If it was me, i
    probably would have stopped and challenged him before he had hit me,
    but thats just me. Being a teenaged boy myself, its a shame that this
    is the reputation that we are given by the small minority of f*ckwits.
    Rant over!

    Hope your ankle and elbow get better.

    Ride on!


    Its like England here....Iv never seen so much sun!

    "Its not that far up really" Zippy, on climbing up snowdon.

    "How about not equating death with stopping?" - Alanis Morissette
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  5. Uniwitold

    Uniwitold Guest

    You gave youselve name starting with Theo....
    By coloring of your account you ,athough understandebly little
    surprised, stand up to the meaning of this part of name given.
    The ray of creation carries ,inadverently, oposite forces of the game
    of life.
    Just today, in advansed 70-ties and knowing said above ,I still am
    REACTIVE to humanoid behavior.(humanoids are far below the level of
    animals .sic.)
    Thanks for sharing.:)Acceptance is very difficult at times!:)


    Veni !Vidi !Mount ! ' Public does not perceive it reacts'. Greg
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  6. jake_amos

    jake_amos Guest

    i was riding through kilmore ( town where i go to school) and i am still
    pretty n00bed so i still have crap all balance but these skateboarders
    followed me around one day and through there skateboards at me it
    really luckily i got them back by throwing there skateboards back and
    running i seriously would like to know why unicyclist cop this shit


    edsbelly wrote:
    > I Would say that your the best unicyclist i know with the exception of
    > every other unicyclist i know

    i am the eggman
    [email protected] add me
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  7. What an ass!

    Some people are like that...just be greatful (small mercy!) that he
    wasn't in a car / truck!
    Ride safe!

  8. Seager

    Seager Guest

    Didja get a good look at him or his bike? If ya find him sometime make
    his bike pay... he's got to lock it up somewhere.

    Normally that isn't my style... but sometimes you have to help Karma
    out a little bit.


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  9. dorfman

    dorfman Guest

    sweet jesus

    yea thats horrid and he should be hit by a (three wheeler)moter cycle
    ha i would have probable called him an a _ _ before he hit me but i
    think judging from what i heard about him that would have made him hit
    me harder

    look at it this way....you have a nemisis now, a unknown a _ _ nemisis
    if you ever see him again ...figure out who he is and plot your



    my unicycles are like my imaginary friends that every one can see.
    i am Amandas NO.2 fan!
    my myspace
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  10. lucky_8

    lucky_8 Guest

  11. jake_amos

    jake_amos Guest

  12. unisteve

    unisteve Guest

    I've always wondered what it would be like to beat someone to death with
    a unicycle.

    Then again, I don't want to damage any of my unicycles.


    -\"i live on the edge. sometimes i fall off.\"-

    la vie est belle...

    harper is my hero.
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  13. recycled

    recycled Guest

    Wow, what a psycho. I would have stopped and ask him WTF his dish was,
    for better or worse...

    Was this kid a gangbanger or something???

    That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.


    Nimbus Muni 24x3
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  14. BornUgly

    BornUgly Guest

    If you ever see him again be prepared to do the uni-tennis-racket
    defence, that'll put an end to his evil behavior. ;)


    "Beware the advice of succesful people; they do not seek company."

    "Unicyclists are an amazing, diverse, intelligent, and interesting
    bunch with lots to say" - Underdog
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  15. TheoELind

    TheoELind Guest

    Seager wrote:
    > Didja get a good look at him or his bike? If ya find him sometime make
    > his bike pay... he's got to lock it up somewhere.
    > Normally that isn't my style... but sometimes you have to help Karma
    > out a little bit.

    I would hate to stoop to his level.

    Recycled: he was more of a want-to-be gangster.

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  16. underdog

    underdog Guest

    I've not yet been asaulted on my uni but as a long time road biker I've
    had several such incidents. I've been so angered that I've gotten off
    my bike and yelled, even begged, the low-lifes (always speeding away in
    a car after they've thrown a beer bottle/apple/egg/soft drink cup at
    me) to come back and face me like a man. Figuring that I'm in better
    physical shape than 95+% of folks out there because I excersice
    regularly, I'm pretty sure I could kick their asses. Not one of them
    has ever had the cojones to come back. Bunch of cowards. Judging by
    the way your assailant sped away on his bike he's a coward too. The
    one time I got sweet and immediate revenge, I had someone try to run me
    off the road and I was able to unclip my left foot and kick a sizeable
    dent in his rear fender. The guy sped away thinking he had hit me. I
    smiled at the $1000 dent I had given him. FWIW, I'm with those who
    think that sometimes karma needs a little help.


    'I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody
    tell you different' - Kurt Vonnegut
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  17. johnfoss

    johnfoss Guest

    Looks like he figured out you would be easy to knock over, so he decided
    to test his theory. That's assault and battery over here. If he were
    over 18 you could involve the police (if you could identify him). If
    he's a teen this probably isn't worth it. If its your regular commute,
    keep your eye out for him. Maybe this is a good time to start using a
    glasses or helmet mirror to see what's going on back there. I don't
    feel comfortable riding along the road without a mirror.

    I like the idea of him being hit by someone on a motorized tricycle.
    Wouldn't that be appropriate! Except motorized tricycle riders are
    still "us," not like dickhead car drivers. They still have to be afraid
    of cars themselves.


    John Foss
    "jfoss" at "unicycling.com" -- www.unicycling.com

    "The worst thing you can do on a unicycle when you land is stop dead."
    -- Kris Holm, world's expert on high-consequence unicycling
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  18. brian.slater

    brian.slater Guest

    johnfoss wrote:
    > Maybe this is a good time to start using a glasses or helmet mirror to
    > see what's going on back there. I don't feel comfortable riding along
    > the road without a mirror.

    'Take-a-Look '
    (http://www.pacelineproducts.com/products/tkealook.html)by Pace, less
    vibration than the plastic ones and more robust, mounts on glasses or
    helmet, adjusts to ANY angle.


    Brian C. Slater
    AKA: Snoopy

    Ok, I am now officially in my normal state of -advanced- confusion.
    Don't try to confuse me, it won't make any difference. If you try not
    to confuse me, that will confuse me.

    "To not decide is to decide" - undecided
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  19. trials_uni

    trials_uni Guest

    that is by far the worst thing that ive ever heard of someone doing to a
    unicyclinst while riding. thats terrible.


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