Aero Ride Report Part 2

Aero Ride Report Part 2

So I'm standing in the garage where it's 115 degrees. Sweat droplets are sliding down my forehead
and into my eyes at the rate of about 15 drops a second. It looks like I'm crying and thanking God
for not having some dreaded fatal social sickness like SARs. It was only a flat rear tire that
caused my body to explode and now I can ride to work tomorrow and also eat Chinese food without fear
once again.

I was too tired and exhausted to change the flat, so I got an old 650c Velocity wheel, that I used
to ride on my V-Rex, down from it's hook off the garage ceiling and mounted it up on the Aero. It
had a pretty bright orange Continental Grand Prix 3000 tire on it and I pump the sucker up to 120
commuting pounds per square inch of air and I was ready for the morning commute. I go to bed that
night exhausted and dreaming of car less smooth roads with Dairy Queens every 15 miles. And they
have drive up windows at the correct height for recumbent riders to pull right up and get free Heath
Bar blizzards without every leaving their M5 Carbon Fiber composite seat.

I awake at 6 in the morning and throw on the brightest yellow jersey I can find and an old pair of
shorts. On yesterday's commute, I found that I like to be seen by all the drivers on the road, so my
new riding clothes motto is "Bright is Right!"

I drink a little coffee and surfed the Net while I wait for the sun to come up. At about 6:30 it's
light enough to see and be seen so I headed out. Yesterday's, homeward bound commute took me 1 hour
and 15 minutes. Today's flight towards the office took only 50 minutes! I flew. I made most every
light. I cranked hard on the pedals and they respond with power and speed. Man what a difference air
in the rear tire can make. <g>

There was very little traffic and it did not even begin to get heavy till after 7 and by then I was
more than half way to work. The air was cool and crisp and I really enjoyed to trip in. The only
negative to the whole thing was when I went by the guard's desk at work, and she told me I looked
like a cute little flower in my bright yellow jersey. And I thought great. It's not enough to be a
recumbent geek and take that reticule, now I have to endure harassment from Security Guards who do
Body Cavity searches on a whim if you look at them wrong, let alone wear funny clothing into
"Their" building.

I wonder around the office during my cool down period, trying to hide from co-workers who whistle
and coo at me as I try to get my body temp down before I shower. You know, sometimes I just hate the
people I work with.

After enduring a half an hour of pre work place violence with co-workers in my cubicle, I grab my
Gym bag and head for the showers. I'm really blessed to have showers at work. They were put in about
a year ago when they remolded the Third floor and laid off 35 first level mangers and kept 5 Vice
Presidents with BMWs and good hair cuts.

The day before, I had packed the gym bag with everything I would need to shower and change for work.
I even remembered Flip-Flop shoes to wear in the shower. God the last thing I every want to do is
stand bare foot in a public shower stall. I had a new bar of soap in a plastic box. I had my shaving
supplies. I had a pair of underwear, jeans and a shirt that didn't scream "Flower."

By God, I even had a towel. <g>

And the water was hot. What a joy to be on a morning endorphin high in the shower at work. Feeling
like the King of the World, thinking that you deserve that parking space up front and that 10%
raise. Thinking about what you will really say to your brain dead boss today.

Anyway, thank God that mood passed.

I shower. I dry off. I shave. I begin to put on my clothes.

Underwear snugged up. Pull on those jeans. Pull on those jeans. Pull on those JEANS!!!

God NO! These are my 14-year-old daughter's jeans! Waist size like
22. No way thunder thighs will ever get these things on. They pull up to my waist and I can zip
then up a good 1-inch. But then the zipper just laughs at me and say's "No Way Buddy!"

It's then I remember the Group Meeting with the 5 V.Ps we have scheduled for 8. The 5 well groomed
Human Relations V.Ps that are always looking for candidates for Down Sizing!

Yikes!

But, I found out: You can go to meetings and briskly walk down hallways and work for 8 hours with a
yellow legal pad of paper held statically horizontal, just around waist level.

Lesson Learned: Buy yellow underwear.

 

Another day brightener... are these literally "truestories"?... If so, your life is very... ah -
interesting.

By the way, do you get to park your Aero in the "space up front"?

--
Chere ~ GRR Sanibel, FL / Cumberland, MD

 

You are so hilarious. Please post more. I love reading your stuff

 

LOL!! great stuff

Bentpelli

"Truestorys" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Aero Ride Report Part 2
>
> So I'm standing in the garage where it's 115 degrees. Sweat droplets are sliding down my forehead
> and into my eyes at the rate of about 15 drops a second. It looks like I'm crying and thanking God
> for not having some dreaded fatal social sickness like SARs. It was only a flat rear tire that
> caused my body to explode and now I can ride to work tomorrow and also eat Chinese food without
> fear once again.
>
> I was too tired and exhausted to change the flat, so I got an old 650c Velocity wheel, that I used
> to ride on my V-Rex, down from it's hook off the garage ceiling and mounted it up on the Aero. It
> had a pretty bright orange Continental Grand Prix 3000 tire on it and I pump the sucker up to 120
> commuting pounds per square inch of air and I was ready for the morning commute. I go to bed that
> night exhausted and dreaming of car less smooth roads with Dairy Queens every 15 miles. And they
> have drive up windows at the correct height for recumbent riders to pull right up and get free
> Heath Bar blizzards without every leaving their M5 Carbon Fiber composite seat.
>
> I awake at 6 in the morning and throw on the brightest yellow jersey I can find and an old pair of
> shorts. On yesterday's commute, I found that I like to be seen by all the drivers on the road, so
> my new riding clothes motto is "Bright is Right!"
>
> I drink a little coffee and surfed the Net while I wait for the sun to come up. At about 6:30 it's
> light enough to see and be seen so I headed out. Yesterday's, homeward bound commute took me 1
> hour and 15 minutes. Today's flight towards the office took only 50 minutes! I flew. I made most
> every light. I cranked hard on the pedals and they respond with power and speed. Man what a
> difference air in the rear tire can make. <g>
>
> There was very little traffic and it did not even begin to get heavy till after 7 and by then I
> was more than half way to work. The air was cool and crisp and I really enjoyed to trip in. The
> only negative to the whole thing was when I went by the guard's desk at work, and she told me I
> looked like a cute little flower in my bright yellow jersey. And I thought great. It's not enough
> to be a recumbent geek and take that reticule, now I have to endure harassment from Security
> Guards who do Body Cavity searches on a whim if you look at them wrong, let alone wear funny
> clothing into "Their" building.
>
> I wonder around the office during my cool down period, trying to hide from co-workers who whistle
> and coo at me as I try to get my body temp down before I shower. You know, sometimes I just hate
> the people I work with.
>
> After enduring a half an hour of pre work place violence with co-workers in my cubicle, I grab my
> Gym bag and head for the showers. I'm really blessed to have showers at work. They were put in
> about a year ago when they remolded the Third floor and laid off 35 first level mangers and kept 5
> Vice Presidents with BMWs and good hair cuts.
>
> The day before, I had packed the gym bag with everything I would need to shower and change for
> work. I even remembered Flip-Flop shoes to wear in the shower. God the last thing I every want to
> do is stand bare foot in a public shower stall. I had a new bar of soap in a plastic box. I had my
> shaving supplies. I had a pair of underwear, jeans and a shirt that didn't scream "Flower."
>
> By God, I even had a towel. <g>
>
> And the water was hot. What a joy to be on a morning endorphin high in the shower at work. Feeling
> like the King of the World, thinking that you deserve that parking space up front and that 10%
> raise. Thinking about what you will really say to your brain dead boss today.
>
> Anyway, thank God that mood passed.
>
> I shower. I dry off. I shave. I begin to put on my clothes.
>
> Underwear snugged up. Pull on those jeans. Pull on those jeans. Pull on those JEANS!!!
>
> God NO! These are my 14-year-old daughter's jeans! Waist size like
> 22. No way thunder thighs will ever get these things on. They pull up to my waist and I can zip
> then up a good 1-inch. But then the zipper just laughs at me and say's "No Way Buddy!"
>
> It's then I remember the Group Meeting with the 5 V.Ps we have scheduled for 8. The 5 well groomed
> Human Relations V.Ps that are always looking for candidates for Down Sizing!
>
> Yikes!
>
> But, I found out: You can go to meetings and briskly walk down hallways and work for 8 hours with
> a yellow legal pad of paper held statically horizontal, just around waist level.
>
> Lesson Learned: Buy yellow underwear.

 

Once again, great stuff. Keep it up.

 

bentcruiser <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...

> You are so hilarious. Please post more. I love reading your stuff

Thanks all for the kind words. Before I fell to Recumbnetism, I wrote storys about the Bikes on
the Dark Side. These old TRUE Storys can be found at: www.true-storys.com

Enjoy,

Don TRUE