To my dearest isolated Dan,
I am with esperence for all humanity that the dark days of winters pauce larder that we will make it to another year of bounteous yields. It is with great regret that, while I was impressed by your vicissitude towards your new self generated life in the colony of Canada, I now find that you are subscribing to printed matter of very lewd content. My darling wife commented on this, and told me that on several occasion you did indeed manage to defrock her many times. Of course, this is not as serious as purloining my hose, which made me a risible target from my aristocratic friends. Tides do indeed turn, and now I have a manservant who has no interest at all in my wife.
I am so elated, and he does inflate me with his persistant tongueflappery. He has a wonderful choice of hose, of which I use from time to time. The charbonnier seems to devote many hours along with my darling wife in the boiler house counting bags of coal. Wedded bliss is indeed a rare and beautiful circumstance.