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Originally posted by bleachtblond
I was being sarcastic...my Grandma was an immigrant. I am 1/2 Hispanic...
Here's the biggest dork story. LMAO. I saw a fellow who had made clips by using shoelaces! That was thiws weekend.LOL No one could be dorKier than that. How'd he get off without falling?
Originally posted by bleachtblond
I was being sarcastic and facetious...my Grandma was an immigrant. Weren't all of our forefathers?I am 1/2 Hispanic...
I'm a certified card-carrying Dork with a capital D. Guilty of 7 of 10 of your sins.
BUT... I'm a dedicated long-distance TOURING CYCLIST, so the beauty of it is,
I'm officially immune from any of the 'roadie' rules.
I'm free!
One of the great things about touring is that there are no rules-
it's function over form, necessity over style, survival over speed.
-Every cyclist for him/herself.
Actually there is one overriding rule for tourers- (tourists?)(tourites?)
SURVIVAL.
That means whatever it takes to stay alive- at the lightest possible weight
In other words, rampant dorkism.
Face it, it's going to be impossible to look cool towing a trailer with a bright yellow bag wrapped in plastic, with a frikkin ORANGE FLAG advertising your dorkosity for all to see.
And that's the point- you WANT to be seen, to be garishly ugly because otherwise- you're dead.
SO-
1) I wear a helmet mirror because IT WORKS. It's saved my life more times than I care to admit.
2) I wear pro-type apparel, but only ones that are horribly bright and tacky, and at least 2 yrs out of style because they're cheaper-and that means I have more $$ to buy Granola or more Subway sandwiches so I can stay out on tour longer.
3) I wear a 6 yr-old Bell helmet- how'd you know? Reason- see both reasons above. I also attached some reflective tape to the back of the helmet. Take that.
4) I wear my shoes and cleats ALL DAY. I use Candy Eggbeaters, so a bit of dirt from camp doesn't matter. And guess what- until recently I wore TOE CLIPS AND STRAPS. Ha! The ultimate Dork item, so bad it didn't even make your list!
The reason- no room for two pairs of shoes. (OK sometimes I carry a pr of superlight 'camp shoes' - all plastic, cost $1.99 at the supermarket. Very dorky, I love them).
5) Wear my shorts ALL DAY, sometimes sleep in 'em. Of course I do carry two or more pairs, depending on length of tour and accessibility to laundromats. By the way, what's the Dork value for standing in a laundromat in swim trunks and a pro-team jersey with cycling shoes on? Funny, they say laundromats are a good place to meet women, I've never had any luck....
6)Bike bra. Not guilty of that one, unless I take up cross-dressing.
Oh, however I do wear my HEART MONITOR strap. Can that count?
7) Never tucked my shirt in. However, if it proved useful for some reason, I would. I have used platic bags wrapped around my feet for rain. Close enough?
8) Shaved legs. Nope. Wind resistance of leg hair is arguably less than 1% of the BRIGHT ORANGE FLAG (see above).
9) The only person I race against is myself, and occasionally ferry schedules. Hammering is what I do with bent tent stakes.
10) OF COURSE I wear a camelbak. 40 miles between sources of water on a hot summer day. It's called stayin' alive. And if that isn't enough..
I sewed a *****-pack onto the waist strap of my Camelbak for having wallet, etc. close at hand. It's bright blue. Looks REALLY stupid. Works great, thanks.
10a) Chainring marks. Yup. After some roadside maintenance I have them on my legs, arms, and face. And helmet mirrors aren't big enough to allow you to check out how you look. That's actually a good thing..
So. I completely agree with your Dork list, but I claim immunity.
The best part is when occasionally I do come across a roadie on his 10-pound bike, and manage to stay within a few hundred feet of him for a mile or two (on a good day, I can just manage it...)
Drives them crazy. Not only because I'm keeping up with them, but because they're terrified someone may think we're riding together...
LN
BUT... I'm a dedicated long-distance TOURING CYCLIST, so the beauty of it is,
I'm officially immune from any of the 'roadie' rules.
I'm free!
One of the great things about touring is that there are no rules-
it's function over form, necessity over style, survival over speed.
-Every cyclist for him/herself.
Actually there is one overriding rule for tourers- (tourists?)(tourites?)
SURVIVAL.
That means whatever it takes to stay alive- at the lightest possible weight
In other words, rampant dorkism.
Face it, it's going to be impossible to look cool towing a trailer with a bright yellow bag wrapped in plastic, with a frikkin ORANGE FLAG advertising your dorkosity for all to see.
And that's the point- you WANT to be seen, to be garishly ugly because otherwise- you're dead.
SO-
1) I wear a helmet mirror because IT WORKS. It's saved my life more times than I care to admit.
2) I wear pro-type apparel, but only ones that are horribly bright and tacky, and at least 2 yrs out of style because they're cheaper-and that means I have more $$ to buy Granola or more Subway sandwiches so I can stay out on tour longer.
3) I wear a 6 yr-old Bell helmet- how'd you know? Reason- see both reasons above. I also attached some reflective tape to the back of the helmet. Take that.
4) I wear my shoes and cleats ALL DAY. I use Candy Eggbeaters, so a bit of dirt from camp doesn't matter. And guess what- until recently I wore TOE CLIPS AND STRAPS. Ha! The ultimate Dork item, so bad it didn't even make your list!
The reason- no room for two pairs of shoes. (OK sometimes I carry a pr of superlight 'camp shoes' - all plastic, cost $1.99 at the supermarket. Very dorky, I love them).
5) Wear my shorts ALL DAY, sometimes sleep in 'em. Of course I do carry two or more pairs, depending on length of tour and accessibility to laundromats. By the way, what's the Dork value for standing in a laundromat in swim trunks and a pro-team jersey with cycling shoes on? Funny, they say laundromats are a good place to meet women, I've never had any luck....
6)Bike bra. Not guilty of that one, unless I take up cross-dressing.
Oh, however I do wear my HEART MONITOR strap. Can that count?
7) Never tucked my shirt in. However, if it proved useful for some reason, I would. I have used platic bags wrapped around my feet for rain. Close enough?
8) Shaved legs. Nope. Wind resistance of leg hair is arguably less than 1% of the BRIGHT ORANGE FLAG (see above).
9) The only person I race against is myself, and occasionally ferry schedules. Hammering is what I do with bent tent stakes.
10) OF COURSE I wear a camelbak. 40 miles between sources of water on a hot summer day. It's called stayin' alive. And if that isn't enough..
I sewed a *****-pack onto the waist strap of my Camelbak for having wallet, etc. close at hand. It's bright blue. Looks REALLY stupid. Works great, thanks.
10a) Chainring marks. Yup. After some roadside maintenance I have them on my legs, arms, and face. And helmet mirrors aren't big enough to allow you to check out how you look. That's actually a good thing..
So. I completely agree with your Dork list, but I claim immunity.
The best part is when occasionally I do come across a roadie on his 10-pound bike, and manage to stay within a few hundred feet of him for a mile or two (on a good day, I can just manage it...)
Drives them crazy. Not only because I'm keeping up with them, but because they're terrified someone may think we're riding together...
LN
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! That is the best post I've read on the subject, necessity is the mother of invention, and when you're really hardore you couldn't care less what other people think.
Lou N, you rule... Small question... I just bought a rearview mirror for my handlebars, is there some advantage to having it on the helmet?
I'm grinning ear to ear over your post. Puts a damper on all our non-biking bickering, though.
Sara
Lou N, you rule... Small question... I just bought a rearview mirror for my handlebars, is there some advantage to having it on the helmet?
I'm grinning ear to ear over your post. Puts a damper on all our non-biking bickering, though.
Sara
Hats off, lou n; wish I'da said that. And I'm glad my hubby doesn't shave his legs. And we won't ride without mirrors cuz that'd be stupid. And I wear my bike shorts to the grocery store all the time. Oh, the freedom of not caring what other cyclists think....
D
D
Not to mention our foremothers. People such as Memph, who spout racist nonsense, are apparently unaware of the fact that ALL our ancestors immigrated all over the earth for thousands and thousands of years, each group displacing or being absorbed by the one before it.
Now, now, now... that is just a myth that native indians crossed the Aleutian Islands once connected with Asia, and people crossed it... and that is how the first people come to North America.
Why bicker when you can out-and-out ridicule, I always say...
Regarding the helmet mirror...
The best answer I can give you is (and I hate it when people do this, but here goes...)
It's a matter of personal preference.
Most cyclists I know hate them. I love mine.
My local bikeshop guru says it drove him crazy when he tried it.. says it's the closest he's come to death-by-bicycle.
I beg to differ.
I used to use handlebar-end mirrors, but because there are several riding positions on a touring/road bike, I could never get the mirror right.
I also use Scott Aero bars, (anyone know the Dork rating for those?) so I had too many positions for the mirror to work.
And get this for Dorkisms.. so to try and solve the problem, I actually built a mount for 2 handlebar mirrors-- one below the bar end for riding drop position and one above and to the side for riding hands above or aero bar.
I got more incredulous stares for that piece of hardware than anything else I've hung off my bike.
Problem was, they were constantly getting bumped and moved out of position.
So I decided to try the helmet mirror...
AND.... (sorry for this)
I NEVER LOOKED BACK
- HA
(sorry again)
There are several advantages in my opinion:
Not gettting constantly bumped outta position- good for parking/leaning/squeezing between semi tractor-trailers on a ferry.
I do however, usually need to adjust the helmet mirror (only once) at the beginning of each ride, due to throwing my helmet down in a victory dance after every safe ride.
With the helmet mirror, I don't have to move my head down and take my eyes off the road to check the mirror. It did take awhile to get used to quickly focusing with one eye only on the helmet mirror, but once I got good at it, it became natural. And because it's so much easier, I find myself checking the mirror regularly and constantly. Every 10-20 seconds or so.
This is great for traffic, knowing what's developing behind you on a constant basis.
The mirror, once adjusted, covers all riding positions. So again I tend to use it more because it's always in a usable position.
It's great for checking someone out behind you while standing in a lineup.
They can't tell you're looking at them.
And if they do notice, you're wearing a helmet, so the punch doesn't hurt as much...
So to summarize:
Good things-
Smaller, stays in position, less adjusting, tend to use it a lot more with less effort, - gets you mentioned on Dork lists.
Bad things-
May be difficult or impossible to get used to, depending on the person. Does get moved when you drop your helmet. Possibly gets you in trouble in lineups.
So, hope that helps. IMPORTANT- I always check over my shoulder before changing lanes, entering traffic or doing any move.
The mirror is a great addition for constant checking, but always check over you shoulder as well. Your life depends on it.
Enough preaching. End of sermon.
Cheers
LN
Regarding the helmet mirror...
The best answer I can give you is (and I hate it when people do this, but here goes...)
It's a matter of personal preference.
Most cyclists I know hate them. I love mine.
My local bikeshop guru says it drove him crazy when he tried it.. says it's the closest he's come to death-by-bicycle.
I beg to differ.
I used to use handlebar-end mirrors, but because there are several riding positions on a touring/road bike, I could never get the mirror right.
I also use Scott Aero bars, (anyone know the Dork rating for those?) so I had too many positions for the mirror to work.
And get this for Dorkisms.. so to try and solve the problem, I actually built a mount for 2 handlebar mirrors-- one below the bar end for riding drop position and one above and to the side for riding hands above or aero bar.
I got more incredulous stares for that piece of hardware than anything else I've hung off my bike.
Problem was, they were constantly getting bumped and moved out of position.
So I decided to try the helmet mirror...
AND.... (sorry for this)
I NEVER LOOKED BACK
- HA
(sorry again)
There are several advantages in my opinion:
Not gettting constantly bumped outta position- good for parking/leaning/squeezing between semi tractor-trailers on a ferry.
I do however, usually need to adjust the helmet mirror (only once) at the beginning of each ride, due to throwing my helmet down in a victory dance after every safe ride.
With the helmet mirror, I don't have to move my head down and take my eyes off the road to check the mirror. It did take awhile to get used to quickly focusing with one eye only on the helmet mirror, but once I got good at it, it became natural. And because it's so much easier, I find myself checking the mirror regularly and constantly. Every 10-20 seconds or so.
This is great for traffic, knowing what's developing behind you on a constant basis.
The mirror, once adjusted, covers all riding positions. So again I tend to use it more because it's always in a usable position.
It's great for checking someone out behind you while standing in a lineup.
They can't tell you're looking at them.
And if they do notice, you're wearing a helmet, so the punch doesn't hurt as much...
So to summarize:
Good things-
Smaller, stays in position, less adjusting, tend to use it a lot more with less effort, - gets you mentioned on Dork lists.
Bad things-
May be difficult or impossible to get used to, depending on the person. Does get moved when you drop your helmet. Possibly gets you in trouble in lineups.
So, hope that helps. IMPORTANT- I always check over my shoulder before changing lanes, entering traffic or doing any move.
The mirror is a great addition for constant checking, but always check over you shoulder as well. Your life depends on it.
Enough preaching. End of sermon.
Cheers
LN
I find the helmet mirrors hard to focus, but perhaps I should keep trying. The handlebar end mirrors break a lot due to the bike falling over on its handlebars. Also, my hand tends to push the velcro strap off the bar end over a period of time.
I also use a tricycle bell and a can of Halt! strapped to my handlebars.
I also use a tricycle bell and a can of Halt! strapped to my handlebars.
I'm speechless. Thanks for the genuinely informative AND entertaining advice on the dorky-or-dead way of looking at cycling. Hands-down, you have BECOME the guru... VIVE LE DORK!
You've obviously made a tour of the question and I now I am doubly excited to try out my newly installed mirror (handlebar for now), counter, and reinforced kickstand (I have stuff to carry, -- I can carry 3 days of groceries in my big saddlebags plus a kid in the kid's seat - or the groceries and two six packs of 1 liter water/milk bottles, roughly 12-16 kilos, in back, same diff. ).
Has anything been said about the dorkiness of us commuters who use duct tape on their pants? Y'know, to tape them back? I just wear normal clothes (avoid miniskirts) when I bike, doesn't change much in terms of "wind drag".
On the contrary, I figure the heavier my bike and the more bulky my clothing, the more muscleI use. When I finally get to try one of those fancy 5 pound bikes,I'll leave a trail of fire in my tracks, à la Wyle E. Coyote. !
Ever ride in France and see some of these Euro-cycling dorks (of which I am one)?
Sara
You've obviously made a tour of the question and I now I am doubly excited to try out my newly installed mirror (handlebar for now), counter, and reinforced kickstand (I have stuff to carry, -- I can carry 3 days of groceries in my big saddlebags plus a kid in the kid's seat - or the groceries and two six packs of 1 liter water/milk bottles, roughly 12-16 kilos, in back, same diff. ).
Has anything been said about the dorkiness of us commuters who use duct tape on their pants? Y'know, to tape them back? I just wear normal clothes (avoid miniskirts) when I bike, doesn't change much in terms of "wind drag".
On the contrary, I figure the heavier my bike and the more bulky my clothing, the more muscleI use. When I finally get to try one of those fancy 5 pound bikes,I'll leave a trail of fire in my tracks, à la Wyle E. Coyote. !
Ever ride in France and see some of these Euro-cycling dorks (of which I am one)?
Sara
I feel at least that I somehow qualify; I ride a thirty plus year old bike to work every day, am approaching 60 years of age and am 110 kg plus.
Perhaps a cycling pork?
Perhaps a cycling pork?
I for one never said a bad word against the French. Tere wee one of the first three groups here, English and Indian being the others. Since I have Indian in me, this gives me a greater right to complain.
The French Canadians were just doing what it took to keep their culture alive. Rest of Canada should have followed. Maybe we would not be so watered down.
Fear? You are correct, am frightened to lose my country and culture to immigrants and their way of life. If their way of life was so great, then why move? Follow our culture first or move back.
This is the way I feel. Most of the **** drivers out there that nearly hit me are not white. ALL of the ones who have argued with me, have not spoken English clearly....
Memph
You are missing the point. Who cares about thousands of years or even a couple hundred years ago. I am talking about the ones that 1st or 2nd generation. These immigrants seem to be the ones that would like to change my country. Not the ones who came over 100 years ago and have taken Canada's culture as their own (damn rats keeps running over the keyboard).
How can I be racist for believing in my countries culture and keeping it alive? So being proud of Canada makes me racist.....
Memph
I'm not missing the point; you are. You are saying that ONLY the predominating culture at the point in time that Memphmann happened to be born is appropriate. All others, before and after, are bogus, not the "real thing." YOUR ancestors changed what existed before they were there. Now you object to others merely doing what your ancestors did.
Because you are trying to exclude other so-called races (which is an illegitimate term; there are no "pure" strains - we're all descended from the same stock) from what you consider Canada's true culture. Why should the determinate of what is "true" be YOUR criteria? At what point in time is true culture determined? Culture is an ever-evolving phenomenon, just like language.
Of course not; let's not parade that straw man out just yet, Hallowe'en's two weeks away.
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