Are you a Cycling Dork?

[Kupa]

Originally posted by Lazy legs
How the hell do you see them????

Hi, my name is Steve...

"Hi Steve"

And I'm a bit of a dork at times. I tried those itsy bitsy mirrors that are about a half inch in diameter that stick to the inside of your glasses. They never worked at all. I could not get the mirrors far enough away from my eyes to see around behind me. If I held them with my fingers, in front of the glasses they would show me what was over my shoulder pretty well, but they never would work when applied to the inside of the lens. I also was paranoid that if I crashed they would somehow pop off and get into my eye.

Cheers,

Steve Cooper

 

[Brizza]

Interesting thread.
I use a camel because it carries more water (2 litres) and helps me carry tools to and from the race.
On the topic of shaving, what about in winter if you don't have leg warmers?
Hair free legs is a lot cooler in summer and makes it eisier to massage your own legs, it doesn't really help a massuer as they have better access to your legs.

I'm tempted to try a mirror as it would save me time during breakaways or looking around during a sprint, has it worked for anyone?

I'm a Knobbly by nature so I don't mind standing out from the skinny tyre riders.

 

[prestonjb]

1. Never never never ever wear a mirror on your helmet. This one small thing will immediately put you in a major make-fun of position. Now, of course, some riders who live in major metro areas need a mirror when riding in traffic. But you if you choose this little glass helmet add-on, you will still be categorized immediately as a major stay-away-from dork.

Fred

2. For goodness sake, stop wearing Mercatone Uno or any other pro cycling apparel unless you perhaps actually ride for a pro team! Not many things will cause so many rolled eyes as a rider who shows up for a group ride completely decked out, from helmet to socks in some pro teams kit. YOU may think it is cool, but it is a major, major sign of dorkism. The only time this is allowed is when you are riding solo, and then only when no other riders will see you.

Fabio

3. Replace your 6-year old Bell helmet. The alarm bells go off instantaneously when a rider with a Bell Vector or some such antique helmet rolls up. Eeeeeeeek!

Fred

4. PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEZ take your cycling shoes off sometime within, oh, 3 or 4 hours after you are done riding. Do not clatter all over the parking lot, registration, awards ceremony (EGAD!) with your cycling shoes on. Besides the obvious signs of dorkism, YOUR CLEATS ARE WEARING OUT!

??
A. Never wear look cleats or road shoes. Wear carbon soled mountain bike shoes and SPDs on your road bike.
B. I always wear my shoes. I have high-end carbon ATB shoes I exclusively wear on my road bike with double-sided ATB SPD pedals. I ride a beater bike to work and on that I wear cannondale M series shoes... I get off the bike and lock it up and then walk into work, walk to lunch, drive the car, whatever. The only time I don't wear the cannondales is when I know I won't be on a bike all day.

5. GET OUT of your cycling shorts sometime within a week or so of completing your ride. Standing around the parking lot chatting for hours after your ride in your shorts (and shoes probably) is a big NO NO. Let me ask you this, do you see Lance hours after a race still with his shorts on ? UMMMM. NO. Pros immediately get out of their cycling clothes upon completion of the ride. For good reason. It is a good way to get saddle sores, not even counting the dork points you will pile up doing this.

A. Not if you work in them all day.
B. Not if you are working on a long-haul ride. What's wrong with eating lunch at a street side cafe' in your cycling duds?
C. When "you" fix my lunch, change my wheels, or better still give me the wheel off of your bike and stay behind waiting for the team car while I ride off into the sunset... Perhaps...

6. NEVER BUY A "BIKE BRA". Only shop owners and rich snobs who ride C-40's and go slow use these. Bugs on your bike are a part of life dammit!

When you was *MY* bike after I finish my ride then I'll think about it. In the meantime buy a van specifically for hauling the bike(s) then this is not a prolem...

7. DO NOT tuck your jersey into you shorts when you ride. Umm, a bike jersey was not made to be tucked in, hello, the pockets on the back and such? Geeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Man... I've never seen this one before... Guess I'm passing those guys too fast...

8. SHAVE YOUR LEGS! Hairy legs are a monster giveaway to either being a major cycling dork, or, perhaps a victim of a very domineering wife.[/QOUTE]

Why? If you never fall then you never have to shave them. Besides you will need something to slow me down...

9. DO NOT loudly describe to your friends after the ride how you "hammered" but then were dropped and finished 37th.

Unless they were dropped and came in at 120th

10. ROADIES w/ Camelbacks. Ummmmmm.. no..Acceptable only for RAAM riders and MTB, if you must.

You mean ULTRA-MARATHON Cyclist. And if I'm on a long haul training ride by-myself... in sunny Florida... Well you can see the reason... Otherwise I'll have to take a picture of you skating around in your look-cleated road shoes in the back of the cafe' trying to fill your bottles... In your soggy shorts... Did you tuck in your jersey first?

10a. And last but not least: The dreaded Chainring mark. These black greasy nasty marks consist of a chainring impression upon the calve. Amazingly, Cat 4's and citizens never seem to see these marks, riding and walking around parking lots (in their cleats, of course) decorated with these tattoes of cycling dorkdom proudly displayed.

What's CAT4. What is racing? Who is Lance?

I thought you would bad mouth those who dismount from the left over those who dismount from the right.

How about getting it tatooed?

How about leaving it there "AFTER" you change?

And lastly... Who really cares... I guess when you can catch me wearing my T-Shirt, my Bell helmet, my mirror and my non-road-shoes... Oh yea what about wearing glasses inside or outside the helmet straps...

Instead of worrying about the way everyone else looks just be glad they are on a bike... The more geeks on the roads the better the roads will be for the rest of us...<geeks>

BTW: I wear my glasses inside the helmet straps, tend to wear funky socks and will only go as far as wearing local club jerseys or my Lite-Speed specific jersey... And I don't wear the bell helmet but a pneumo because it fits well... I do wear ATB shoes instead of road shoes because I stop for traffic lights. I suspect that stopping for lights is a geek thing too? But watch out I cruise for 100 miles at 23mph so you better sprint through that intersection or I'll eventually catch you <dead or alive>...

JBP

 

[calibum]

Originally posted by Guest

hehe this one is a clasic

That's what I look like sometimes when I ride. Hairy legs, camelback, and kneepad. Helps keep the knee warm on cold days and stops it from hurting (old injury).

If you ride, ride. Who cares if you look like a dork?

 

[Ralph Ray]

I don't shave my legs but I shave my wifes legs for her. I do wear a Ultimate backpack on my 35 mile ride I do usually 6 days a week(it's hot here in Oklahoma) and I ocasionally wear my 91 team "Z" helmet on my rides. If your a decent cyclist and can hang with the rest, who cares. I love dropping all the legs shaving with all the latest tech stuff dweebs.And hey, if you like the pro team stuff, wear it! This is one hobby I been doing now for 16 years straight and no ones going to ruin it for me with their rules.

 

[NuTz4BiKeZ]

I just don't get recumbent bikes. (I guess they would be useful if you had back problems or something. But, seems like it would ruin your knees.

The opposite appears to be true... I suffer some knee pain on my road, tandem and mtb, especially in larger gears climbing but on the recumbent no pain at all.

But I guess riding a recumbent pretty much qualifies me as a dork in any case.

 

[Geonz]

Proud to be dorky. Would much rather be a total dork than an elitist snob inventing arbitrary coolness rules. I left that behind somewhere around fourth grade.

 

[Arsbars]

Being one of my first posts.. I'll grace this thread.. I'm a dork that uses a camelpak on hot days when I run outta water 2 hours into the ride if I dont. I'll sometimes wear my mtn bike helmet and take off the visor..I usually have tire/chain marks on my leg after long rides.. but thats from changing flats, or repairing others bikes. It also has to do with I am a dirt magnet. I work at a shop and I can't tell you the last time I went home clean...

 

[Randal Lovelace]

Well, guess this will qualify me as a "Fred Flinstone", currently ride a Huffy BlueRidge 18sp MTB to work, wearing a Goldberg T-Shirt, and Hiking shorts with Tennis Shoes....and WHITE socks.
My bike has one water bottle, with a air pump mounted under it, rear rack ('cause my lunch and work clothes got heavy on my back), I have a Bell Torchlight light kit (Halogen with side rays and a multi setting rear light)......can't wait to get my old Lotus Elan ready for riding.

Just call me 'Fred' lol......

 

[Memphmann]

I guess that I am safe from this list. I shave, just makes the girls go crazy. Wear team clothing fom the few teams that I have raced with. My helmet look cool, Specialized Sub 6.
Even for my longer rides, I carry four bottles on bike and an extra in my jersey that is not tucked in.

Here is another one for the list. A few years back, my team would have a Thursday night club ride for anyone to join. This 40's dude would show up on a hybrid with a child seat on the back. We made so much fun of him......

Memph

 

[DurangoKid]

A dork is usually easy to spot in any field endeavor. This person hasn’t mastered any of the finer points and, worse still, doesn’t seem to care to. Their lives are devoid of nuance and introspection. The tragedy in dorkism is that if the dorks would only get over themselves they would do better with the same effort and have more fun. This begs the question of what to do about dorks. Is it better to take the W.C. Fields approach and ‘never wise up a chump’? To let dorkism go unchecked could leave us the less-dorkish open to accusations of haughtiness and snobbery. Do we tolerate dorks only for the sake of having someone to laugh at? This seems to run counter to good sportsmanship.

What if a dork could be helped out of his dorkishness? Often a simple question will get someone to consider something that hadn’t occurred to him or her. A kind suggestion in the form of a question is less confrontational and accusatory. It functions as an invitation to a finer appreciation without making target feel coerced or derided. Of course, there are those dorks who are impervious to knowledge and to those I say, “You Dork!”

 

[Geoff Hall]

Damn! Can't be a dork. Anybody want to buy a mirror? Cheap!!

 

[Memphmann]

Thinking of mounting alittle 12v battery and hooking up rear turn signals. Mount a switch on each handle bar. This could be way cool....

Memph

 

[heater]

Ok, I know a guy who wears boxers under his lycra! They bunch up around the leg. It looks awful. What is he thinking? I can't imagine it's comfortable.

Saw a guy today riding a road bike and the only thing he was wearing was a speedo.

The ultimate dork thing though, kickstands! Especially on mt bikes!

 

[wamara]

Saw a guy wearing a life jacket while mtb....Dorkish. Turns out he had broken some ribs a while back and his wife wouldn't let him ride again without wearing the thing. Time to take up road riding perhaps?. He was also wearing full pants and arm warmers (did I mention it was 90 degrees out) apparently to ward off the chiggers. Anyway, I wish I would have taken a picture of him.
Dork or Die hard...?? You decide.

 

[Memphmann]

You got to be kidding me. A life jacket. Did you notice if there was a small school bus near by? If the pants were jeans, then I am LMAO.....

Memph

 

[NuTz4BiKeZ]

Originally posted by heater
Ok, I know a guy who wears boxers under his lycra! They bunch up around the leg.

You sure... This sounds like one of those "I have a friend" type comments

 

[Fatherzen]

I have been riding to work for a little over two years, so I may be somewhat new to cycling, but I am not new to being a dork.

I had a mirror on my helmet for a while, but it came unglued. Now I have a mirror on my handle bar. I don't care if it is dorkish, I do care about seeing the traffic behind me.

I have a team logo skinsuit I wear some of the time. I have limited funds, and I got it cheap on Ebay. I don't wear it to be cool.

I wear a camebak. I have the Hi-Viz model, the kind that is international orange with reflective stripes. I wear it instead of a reflective vest.

If that isn't dorkish enough for you, I also do my grocery shoping and errands on the way home from work. That means (horrors) that I some times wear my cycling shoes (with white socks and cleat covers), team logo skinsuit, and hairy legs into the bank and the commisary.

I am almost 40 years old, somewhat overweight, and balding. I stopped worrying about what other people think of how I dress a very long time ago and I am much happier because of it.

 

[NuTz4BiKeZ]

Good for you Fatherzen... The important thing is that you enjoy cycling

 

[JohnO]

So what's wrong with a camelbak? I kept it from the MTB, and especially in the hot summer, it's terrific. Toss in some ice cubes, and it keeps cool until you drink it dry. Try that with a water bottle, and it's lukewarm in an hour.

And I'm not shaving my legs - riding in skintight lycra is bad enough. I have a wife and two daughters that blunt every razor in the house, if I started that, I'd never hear the end of it.

The ultra-traditionalist can reach absurd heights at time. Here I am, just out for an afternoon 50 miler, and they rag on me for my carbon beam bike (oooh - no seat tube!), tell me my helmet is out of style, don't like the way I carry water... the next thing, they'll be making snide remarks about my black socks.

Geez, if it has two wheels and human power, it's a bicycle. If it holds water and keeps it cool, it's a good thing to carry on a hot day. And if I'm propelling myself instead of burning hydrocarbons, I'm doing something good.