Ashes to Ashes : Here comes the Prickly Pear Tree

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by Jonkoot, May 21, 2003.

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  1. Jonkoot

    Jonkoot Guest

    El Toro told the little heifers and calves that if they messed with the Bull they were gonna get the
    horn.Ha ha the little urchins laughed, we'll show you Toro, and they proceded to teach the Lonely
    Bull a lesson they would never forget.

    Their surprise began when the spirit of the air began clipping their horns simultaneously, and this
    dismayed the little critters who hadn't been aware that they even had horns. Now rubbing their tiny
    knobs where their horns were they were scared, and then the next thing happened El Toro had warned
    them of, they felt and saw an American Flag waving where their hearts had once been?

    Now fear gave way to panic,and the little herd started scampering around the border like a
    chicken with its head cut off.Which way did he go the little calf swore,and the sky is falling
    chimed his little sister. Then the shit really hit the fan, and their was a tornado black as
    hells midnight raging within them as they were petrified by the awareness that they indeed were
    being spanked by the very one they set out to spank! This was what El Toro called Dads discipline
    and it was his pleasure to spank these know it all infants and give them a real education that
    they would never forget. After the tornado subsided from a black hole of turmoil to a dispelled
    clear water whirl they found themselves drowning in their own conceits.This was overpowering and
    they were overcome , all drowning ,and sinking into oblivion hlepless to defend against the
    almighty horror which was Grampa Moses spanking them soundly ,that they would never raise their
    fists to Grampa and Nana again.

    As they found themselves drowning, they were somehow changed into fish, and these fish sank deep
    into the abyss ,following some senseless direction which guided them down into the belly of the
    beast,and on through the other side of the world. The fish let go of the drowning victims,and
    miraculously they began rising from the depths of the bottomless pit, where they had just passed
    through from life to death and were rising now to a small spot of light at the end of the tunnel.
    They followed the light ,and singularily found themselevs rising out of the sea,as the sea gave up
    its dead, they rose like small lizards and crawled out of the abyss. When they found themsleves on
    dry land, the hole they had come through was gone. They were alone except for the spirit of a woman
    that was Mom watching over dads punishment of the kids.

    They drifted off into a circus like atmosphere where dancing bears and elephants paraded with them
    as if in some victory dance ,but they knew very well they were not out of the wooods yet. The
    fairy tale delsuion tried to seduce them up into the clouds where they would be like rain falling
    down into the sea,in an endless cycle of perpetual watering falling and rising,but one little
    bastard refused to go along for the ride, foiling the almighty scheme at enslaving Israel to egypt
    once again.

    Instead this little monster we call Jacob called silently to his brethen cautioning them to shut
    their mouths and come into him.His

    mouths shut whatever they did or they would all die if one of them

    had its tongues split in half like snakes, and these were marked for the snake ,and slithered out of
    Jacobs heart,where they hissed don't tread on me, they would be the guides to the little mice on
    their way to the big mountain of crap which was about to come crashing down like humpty dumpty. Then
    Jacob washed in the nearets pool a stinking pool of water which was used to flush the crap out of
    the cell where they found themselves trapped, between a rock and a hard spot. Then Jacob whispered
    to them inside of him , like a mighty whale, he warned them , now we are about to be killed so
    whatever you do keep your goddamned mouths shut! The passengers obeyed ,terrified to do otherwise
    lost in space up a creek without a paddle,and then the gendarmes came into the prison cell, in the
    depths of hell,and laid the vessel out drawing and quartering jacob to the four corners of his
    prison cell. Then the earth swallowed up the nemisis ,and four explosions each greater than the one
    before detonated killing the four horseman that were attempting to sodomize jacob.After this, A cop
    came into the cell and untied jacob,and there he waited to be judged, and they led him and thise
    captive within him before the judge where he was found guilty, and sentenced to 180 days without the
    spirit of 76 which was some kind of gas station they used to blame him for a crime of theft which
    had gotten him into the prison cell to begin with. He was returned to the prison cell, where the
    four corners of the cell began closing in on him as they grew in proportions to their specific

    faggot,and another the nigger and the last a honky ,and these spirits were the spirits of delusion
    that had led Jacob into the prison cell,and now they were defeated ,they wanted to kill jacob , and
    escape,but Jacob stood in the middle of the cell, as they were stopped from growing.and then the
    four stone figures ceased growing and died ,making horrible faces as they expired/they left behind a
    delusion of many eagles flying within the wall and these birds beckoned to jacob who refused to join
    them and they disappeared, as a shaolin priest and his cohorts came to defeat jacobs qquest for
    liberty telling him they were his saviors. Jacob spit in the face of this vision, which laughed and
    imagined it would defeat him,but to this visions surprise ,jacob walked away ,and the vision was
    trapped within the cell it had prepared for jacob where it was destroyed, as Jacob walked out of the
    prison cell scot free so to speak.

    Then Jacob told the passengers to get out of him most did ,but some were afraid to so he had to cuss
    and scram and convince these spineless worms to get the hell out of him and stand on their own two
    feet, but some refused so Jacob Condemned himslef ,and made sure these

    finally they abandonned ship.and when they did Jacob left them to their own destructions free at
    last from baby sitting these worthless spineless worms.

    And that is how Jacob escaped baby sittinmg duty . ha ha . grow up you pukes. ha ha! it was real and
    it was fun , but it wasn't real fun.

    and so a saying went out from then on to these worms and their descendants you can pick your nose
    and you can pick your friends but you can't pick your friends nose you little boogers. and then
    Jason blew his nose and the last of the klingons was removed from him .

    and these he tossed into the toilet to enjoy the same baptism just described, as they grew up from
    childhood to adulthood themselves and these ones were called faithful and true. and they were equal
    with jaacob in the land of oz.

    from then on they went out to live happily ever after ,and raised their kids to beleive in
    themsleves and not some fairytale gods or devils or demons or angles ,and the spirits of gods and
    ancestors shit themselves.

    and God said it is good and rested from his eternal labor to get the human race to grow up and face
    reality. From then on kids would be kids and they werre all born stupid, and folks would be folks,
    ,and thats just the way it was is and will be forever, amen.

    snatch ,and she ovulated and eggs fell from her uterus and were fertilized in her vagina or
    something like that,and it was good, and thats the way it is here in the real world.

    so get a life and pull your heads out of your asses,this is the truth that sets you free, believe it
    or not, ,I dont give a rats ass either way its your problem. and Jacob was greatly blessed and not
    married at all, so he was a batchelor ,and as such he was eligible to go out and fund a pussy of his
    own as these beavers we call women are known, but jacob liked pussy too much to have only one, so he
    went out and hosed one after another ,as long as he was young, but when he got old and bald, he

    ,so he had to start sweet talking the bitches, in an effort to get one to live with him.But
    thankfully women are pretty stoopid, so he didnt have that much trouble, and he probably had about
    100 wives before he finally died, but at least he was never alone, well maybe a little ,but for the
    most part women wanted his cock as much as he wanted

    and no one wanted to be queen shit, so Jacob was a lone Turd, and he escaped another trap. finally
    early to bed early to rise fish like hell and make up lies, and never try to bullshit a bullshitter,
    cause you mess with the bull your gonna get the horn.

    lol, the end maybe ?

  2. Technician

    Technician Guest

  3. Westie

    Westie Guest

  4. Gabrielle

    Gabrielle Guest

  5. Jimbo

    Jimbo Guest

  6. Sorni

    Sorni Guest

    "jimbo(san)" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Westie wrote:
    > > "Technician" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > > news:[email protected]...
    > > > In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says... <snip...
    > > > something>
    > > >
    > > > uhhhh.... WTF?????
    > > > --
    > > > ~Travis
    > > >
    > > > travis57 at megalink dot net
    > >
    > > I think that we've found someone more insane than Vanderman....
    > > --
    > > Westie
    > or is he so sane he just blew your mind!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Kramer. (san :)
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