On Mon, 19 Jun 2006 20:10:13 GMT, Ted Bennett
<
[email protected]> wrote:
>
>Can someone tell me where my 9mm wrench got to?
>
>I just set it down, and now it has apparently vanished into some
>alternate reality. My garage isn't THAT messy, is it?
>
>Ted
Dear Ted,
Was your wrench perhaps just a plain, simple wrench with no apparent
markings, unless you tossed it into a handy fire?
When I looked for it, I found only a somewhat corrupted voiceover from
a movie that I haven't seen:
http://www.silywily.com/fellowship.html
Much that once was, is lost. For none now live who remember it. It
began with the forging of the great wrenches. Three peanut-butter
wrenches were given to the Campagnoloans: immortal, wisest, and
fairest of all beings:
http://www.excelsports.com/new.asp?...ription=769+Crank+Bolt+Wrench&vendorCode=CAMP
Seven spoke wrenches to the Shimano lords: great minds and craftsmen
of the mountain halls:
http://www.rei.com/online/store/Pro...-1&color=&img=/media/692427Lrg.jpg&view=large
And nine. Nine dogbone wrenches were gifted to the race of BMX riders:
who above all else desire power.
http://www.sports-center.biz/cycling/c/Cycling_Tools_Lube_Kits/Bell_Deluxe_Cycling_866534.htm
For within these wrenches was bound the strength and will to govern
each two-wheeled race. But they were, all of them, deceived. For
another wrench was made. In the land of WalMart in the fires of Mount
Fury the dark Lord Fogel forged, in secret, a master wrench to control
all others:
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4810721
And into this wrench he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will
to dominate all threads - one wrench to rule them all. One by one, the
local bike shops of Middle-Earth fell to the power of the wrench.
But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of BMX riders and
Campagnoloans marched against the armies of WalMart. And on the slopes
of Mount Fury fought for the freedom of Rec-Bicycles. Victory was
near. But the power of the wrench could not be undone. It was in this
moment, when all hope had faded, that Jobst, son of Leland, took up
his sword. Fogel, the enemy of the free peoples of Rec-Bicycles was
defeated.
The wrench passed to Jobst, who had this one chance to destroy evil
forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the wrench of
power has a will of its own. It betrayed Jobst to his death. And some
things, that should not have been forgotten, were lost. History became
legend. Legend became myth.
And for two and a half thousand years the wrench passed out of all
knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer. The
wrench came to the creature Bennett, who took it deep into his garage.
And there, it consumed him. The wrench brought to Bennett unnatural
long life. For five-hundred posts it poisoned his mind. And in the
gloom of Bennett's garage, it waited.
Darkness crept back into the bicycle-paths of the world. Rumor grew of
a shadow in the West, near the Rockies, whispers of a nameless fear.
And the wrench of power perceived. Its time had now come. The wrench
abandoned Bennett.
But something happened then the wrench did not intend. It was picked
up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A local bike shop owner.
Sheldon Brown of West Newton. For the time will soon come, when local
bike shop owners will shape the fortunes of all.
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/tork-grip.html
Cheers,
Fran Walsh,
Philippa Boyens,
and Peter Jackson