Being Teased/bullied?

[niightwind]

I've mentioned this a bit before here on Cycling Forums, but I only just noticed this section of the forum recently, and thought maybe some people here might be able to offer encouragement or have gone through similar experiences.

I'm sure it is like this everywhere, but where I live I've noticed an exceptional amount of pressure put on people to look good, especially with notice to weight. I've had a lot of problems with my weight ever since I began to get sick. Not being able to exercise often because of pain caused by fibromyalgia & an autoimmune disorder mixed with medication that causes weight gain had my weight double in less than a year. I'm doing my best to lose weight - thought having difficulties that my doctor is trying to help me get through - as well as to get back into good shape again. Biking is my favorite way to go about that.

However, I'm made fun of & bullied a lot for my weight. I hopped onto my bike one time and some boys that were walking home from the high school nearby saw me and called out to me, calling me hurtful names that I would rather not repeat; some about my weight, other words just being mean in general. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I doubt it will be the last.

I'm not the only overweight person trying to get in shape that suffers from this sort of treatment. When an old friend of mine had a membership at the local gym, people would often made rude, hurtful comments or tell her she doesn't belong there.

Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of treatment? How do you deal with it? I find it really hurtful & hard to ignore. When someone makes a nasty comment, it sticks with me throughout the whole day. Have you found any methods that help with ignoring it and just going on with your biking?

 

[AtlantaSports]

Just know that you're a better person than whoever is bullying you. Only the lowest of the low bully people because of what they look like. Keep doing you. I promise you'll better yourself by keeping your head up.

 

[Mr. Beanz]

Just know there are a lot of jerk face cyclists out there! That's how I deal with it!

Just keep riding you will improve. I actually have fun being a big guy. I've been called fat by a lot of riders who are totally surprised when they find they can't keep up with me.

Just keep riding and pay no mind to jerk face cyclists! B)

 

[Uawadall]

Firstly, never let teasing/bullying prevent yourself from bettering yourself. You realize that you would like to be healthier to better enjoy life, don't let some punks stop you from doing this. One thing i'd suggest is joining a cycling group. Here are some benefits

I'm a "fit" 28 year old and joined a group that has mostly middle aged and older riders. People always tell me I "look like a cyclist", but some of these people much older with the "less fit" appearance are very skilled cyclist! Some of these crazy's do full centuries(100 miles), i'm not capable of doing one yet,lol...
Many people in are group overweight, some of them joke about it themselves, but they are never bullied for it. Theirs a sense of camaraderie among are group and its nice to be able to get cycling tips from people who love the sport. Also, in a group ride you will be much safer and won't be bullied by random people. Power in numbers, its much easier to pick on a cyclist when their alone then with a group.

 

[AtlantaSports]

Just know there are a lot of jerk face cyclists out there! That's how I deal with it!

Just keep riding you will improve. I actually have fun being a big guy. I've been called fat by a lot of riders who are totally surprised when they find they can't keep up with me.

Just keep riding and pay no mind to jerk face cyclists! B)

I agree. Just keep improving yourself and ignore all the douche riders.

 

[Ulysses31]

Ignore them, keep cycling, there are lots of scum bags in the world; dont let them stop you doing what you want to.
Get out and ride your bike, enjoy it for all the good things, being outside, seeing new places. Eat well, keep riding and eventually you'll loose some weight, ride further and have more fun.

Screw what douche bags thing!

 

[artyarson]

There's a universal rule and it sounds like: HATERS GONNA HATE. And it's pretty stupid to get uspet just because a bunch of pretty random and distant people are making fun of you. In fact, you've gotta embrace your weight and make fun of it too until it's gone. In this case you will seem invincible on the mental level.

 

[Zhen25]

That's just how the entire society is. It is geared toward some people and against others. You just have to be confident in yourself and know that you are better than that. Bullies will always be bullies so just find a way to ignore them

 

[Corzhens]

Pardon me but in one thread in this site, I was bullied by a guy on the issue of gender. My take is that the female is a weaker sex and he disagreed. But later, his ulterior motive surfaced that he is a bully and he was bullying me. I've met guys like that who are actually sissies since they can only pick on women like me. But I wonder how he would fare if he would encounter my husband. There were several times that my husband had displayed his karate skills for my sake, hahahaaah.

 

[Mr. Beanz]

Pardon me but in one thread in this site, I was bullied by a guy on the issue of gender. My take is that the female is a weaker sex and he disagreed. But later, his ulterior motive surfaced that he is a bully and he was bullying me. I've met guys like that who are actually sissies since they can only pick on women like me. But I wonder how he would fare if he would encounter my husband. There were several times that my husband had displayed his karate skills for my sake, hahahaaah.

Hahaha! We were on a ride then stopped to use a restroom at a park. While I was in the restroom some dude walked up and started hassling my wife. First off I would say he was stupid seeing there were 2 bikes there and not just one. Second off, he probably didn't think cyclists came in the 6'1 240 lb range .

He was really shocked when I got out and saw what was going on. He was a big dude too but you pair up a big dude to a really ****** off big dude and I'd bet my money on me!

I jumped in his face and he was not so tough after all! Others were out there to witness the event so he was pretty embarrassed. I see him at the park every now and then. He just walks by with his head down and doesn't say a word.

 

[Corzhens]

Hahaha! We were on a ride then stopped to use a restroom at a park. While I was in the restroom some dude walked up and started hassling my wife. First off I would say he was stupid seeing there were 2 bikes there and not just one. Second off, he probably didn't think cyclists came in the 6'1 240 lb range .

He was really shocked when I got out and saw what was going on. He was a big dude too but you pair up a big dude to a really ****** off big dude and I'd bet my money on me!

I jumped in his face and he was not so tough after all! Others were out there to witness the event so he was pretty embarrassed. I see him at the park every now and then. He just walks by with his head down and doesn't say a word.

That's an incident worth remembering. I'm glad you have the patience to think well and bully that bully. With my husband, he might be black and blue that could bring my husband to jail. But that's a very nice anecdote to read for women like me because in all honestly, I find so many male cyclists looking down at female cyclists like me as if saying we have no right to ride on 2 wheels.

 

[Mr. Beanz]

You know, I hate bullies! Before I started riding I used to run a lot, play ball and pump iron. I was always in real good shape. We worked at a place with a good mix of people. There were a few guys that used steroids to get muscle. I was always an athlete and always did well at all sports.

I think those steroid guys were insecure with themselves, probably why the needed drugs to make themselves bigger or at least feel bigger.

One day I was in the break room when a short round girl bought some Twinkies from a vending machine. I happened to be walking by when a steroid bully said to her, "hey fatso, don;t you think you had too many twinkies already?".

Oh my! The girl started to laugh hysterically as if she was trying not to cry, almost in a panic. Poor girl! I blew up though! I got in that guy's face and said, "you fat f#$K, it looks to me as if you have had too many frijoles and tortillas yourself!"

I jumped all over that guy and even challenged him to bully me with a few guarantees that I'd embarrass him in front of his friends in the parking lot. I actually brought a tear to his eye. He acted pretty stupid and asked me why I was picking on him. Why, cause Mr. Beanz don't play that sheot! I can;t stand to see someone pick on helpless people!

This was about the time of the incident 6'1 and 220 lbs. I was involved in several sports including work leagues and he knew he'd take a beating!

 

[Bicycleman]

I've mentioned this a bit before here on Cycling Forums, but I only just noticed this section of the forum recently, and thought maybe some people here might be able to offer encouragement or have gone through similar experiences.

I'm sure it is like this everywhere, but where I live I've noticed an exceptional amount of pressure put on people to look good, especially with notice to weight. I've had a lot of problems with my weight ever since I began to get sick. Not being able to exercise often because of pain caused by fibromyalgia & an autoimmune disorder mixed with medication that causes weight gain had my weight double in less than a year. I'm doing my best to lose weight - thought having difficulties that my doctor is trying to help me get through - as well as to get back into good shape again. Biking is my favorite way to go about that.

However, I'm made fun of & bullied a lot for my weight. I hopped onto my bike one time and some boys that were walking home from the high school nearby saw me and called out to me, calling me hurtful names that I would rather not repeat; some about my weight, other words just being mean in general. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I doubt it will be the last.

I'm not the only overweight person trying to get in shape that suffers from this sort of treatment. When an old friend of mine had a membership at the local gym, people would often made rude, hurtful comments or tell her she doesn't belong there.

Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of treatment? How do you deal with it? I find it really hurtful & hard to ignore. When someone makes a nasty comment, it sticks with me throughout the whole day. Have you found any methods that help with ignoring it and just going on with your biking?

I have said it before on another thread here that I have ridden with some heavy cyclists, who could kick my butt any day of the week. I know one particular guy, who originally was thin but was in a bad car accident and gained a lot of weight. When he started back cycling again, it was hard to lose the weight, but he was an awesome rider, just the same.

 

[Swamp_Monkey]

Bullying sucks, don't let it get you down. It boggles the mind to think about how anyone could say a cross word to someone who is trying to improve himself.

 

[cycle93]

It is so sad, to hear about things like this.
I mean exercising and doing stuff is so admirable on the first place, but for some to bully others just because their some kind of otherness (we are all different by the way) is also bumming me out.

 

[Fatguyonbike]

**** like this happens. First I was mocked for my size on a bike. First group ride I went on, I was mocked for not having roadie shoes, hairy legs, and two water bottles. So just because you may lose the weight, be ready for someone to pick on you. Just ignore them and enjoy your ride. I ride to better myself, not for the approval of others around.

 

[Gnufrau]

I've mentioned this a bit before here on Cycling Forums, but I only just noticed this section of the forum recently, and thought maybe some people here might be able to offer encouragement or have gone through similar experiences.

I'm sure it is like this everywhere, but where I live I've noticed an exceptional amount of pressure put on people to look good, especially with notice to weight. I've had a lot of problems with my weight ever since I began to get sick. Not being able to exercise often because of pain caused by fibromyalgia & an autoimmune disorder mixed with medication that causes weight gain had my weight double in less than a year. I'm doing my best to lose weight - thought having difficulties that my doctor is trying to help me get through - as well as to get back into good shape again. Biking is my favorite way to go about that.

However, I'm made fun of & bullied a lot for my weight. I hopped onto my bike one time and some boys that were walking home from the high school nearby saw me and called out to me, calling me hurtful names that I would rather not repeat; some about my weight, other words just being mean in general. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I doubt it will be the last.

I'm not the only overweight person trying to get in shape that suffers from this sort of treatment. When an old friend of mine had a membership at the local gym, people would often made rude, hurtful comments or tell her she doesn't belong there.

Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of treatment? How do you deal with it? I find it really hurtful & hard to ignore. When someone makes a nasty comment, it sticks with me throughout the whole day. Have you found any methods that help with ignoring it and just going on with your biking?

Nightwind, you are not alone. Know this first. Many of us have been bullied, for many reasons. Often, the ones doing the bullying are doing so to make themselves feel more powerful because they feel powerless in some way. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but there it is. The best I can offer you (besides what has already been said), is all the support that electrons, bits and bytes can carry to you. Again, you are not alone! When you ride, know that I, at least, ride with you!

 

[FetishRider]

I had an LBS owner tell me i'd have to join a gym and lose weight if I wanted to work there. Among other things he said that were completely out of line. That's one shop that's not getting my money ever again.

 

[Belovedad]

Unfortunately, I don't share the same situation as you. However, I see it happening to others way too often. There isn't a set fix to the problem as it is really hard to counter. Most of the time, it will be dependent on how you can soak up the damage and move on. Just keep your mind on your goal and think about how life will be different after you accomplish it.

 

[Veater]

I have a distant family member who judges people based on their weight. He talked to me at length about it last time I saw him as I said I had joined a gym. He mentioned that there are lots of overweight people in the gym, but he doesn't mind them there because at least they're trying to do something about it. I felt like saying, "Well how nice of you to allow people to live their lives how they want to ". Because who made him the judge of where fat people are allowed to exist and what activities they're allowed to participate in?

The people who think it is ok to judge other people, and to openly express their judgement, are the ones who should be judged.