Bents Offroad, Pics.



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D

Derek Swift

Guest
> et on dit que les anglais sont fous

chacun croit qu'un certain aspect de la vie d'une autre personne est aliene. ce n'est
typiquement pas vrai.

Derek
 
M

Mike O'Brien

Guest
"Derek Swift" <[email protected]> wrote

| > et on dit que les anglais sont fous

| chacun croit qu'un certain aspect de la vie d'une autre personne est aliene. ce n'est typiquement
| pas vrai.

whata hecka youse gys sayin heer?
 
D

Derek Swift

Guest
> whata hecka youse gys sayin heer?
"and it is said that English is insane" was the first from whoever that was.

I responded:

"each one believes that a certain aspect of the life of another person is insane. it is typically
not true."

Derek
 
M

Mikael Seierup

Guest
King Arthur and his knights of the round table, along with their servants, "ride" up to a castle.
King Arthur's servant, Patsy, blows a horn.

Arthur: HELLO!

(waits)

Bedevere: HELLO!

(waits)

An armor-clad face appears at the top of the rampart. It speaks in an outrageous French accent.

Soldier: 'Allo! 'Oo is it?

Arthur: It is I, King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?

S: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.

T: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us
food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.

U: Well, I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen-- 'e's already got one, you see?

V: What?

Lancelot: He says they've already *got* one!

W: (confused) Are you *sure* he's got one?

X: Oh yes, it's ver' naahs. (to the other soldiers:) I told 'em we've already *got* one!
(they snicker)

Y: (taken a bit off balance) Well... ah, um... Can we come up and have a look?

Z: Of course not! You are English types.

Z: Well, what are you then?

Z: (Indignant) Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous accent, you silly king?!

Galahad: What are you doing in *England*?

Z: Mind your own business!

Z: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

Z: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! Ah blow
my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"! You and all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!

(the soldier proceeds to bang on his helmet with his hands and stick out his tongue at the knights,
making strange noises.)

Galahad: What a strange person.

Z: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--

Z: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your
general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?

Z: No!! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

(pause)

Z: Now this is your last chance! I've been more than reasonable....

Z: (to four other soldiers, standing behind him on the rampart) Fetchez la vache.

Other Soldier: qua?

Z: Fetchez la vache!

(the other soldiers are seen leading a cow... mooing noises)

Z: (continued) ...if you do not agree to my commands, than I shall--

(Boing! The cow goes flying through the air over the rampart...

Z: Jesus Christ!

(...and lands, amid great mooing, on one of the footmen. Various crying-outs from Arthur's party.)

Z: (determined) Right! (drawing sword) CHARGE!

Rest of Arthur's Party: CHAAAARGE!

(As they run towards the French Castle, swords drawn, they are met by a huge onslaught of live
animals of all sizes, that come plummeting down from the ramparts of the castle. Amid screams, they
all turn back before even reaching the castle walls, save Launcelot, who reaches the stone wall in
time to give it one stroke with his sword before retreating.)

French Soldier: (throwing down a goose) Hey, this one is for your mother! (and a duck) And this
one's for your gran!

Arthur's party: (hastily retreating) Run away! RUN AWAAAAY!
 
D

David & Niamh

Guest
And this is a fine example of why France should be an island a long way from anyone else ; )

Mikael Seierup <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> King Arthur and his knights of the round table, along with their servants, "ride" up to a castle.
> King Arthur's servant, Patsy, blows a horn.
>
> Arthur: HELLO!
>
> (waits)
>
> Bedevere: HELLO!
>
> (waits)
>
> An armor-clad face appears at the top of the rampart. It speaks in an outrageous French accent.
>
> Soldier: 'Allo! 'Oo is it?
>
> Arthur: It is I, King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
>
> S: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
>
> A: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give
> us food and shelter for the night, he can join
us
> in our quest for the Holy Grail.
>
> S: Well, I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen-- 'e's already
got
> one, you see?
>
> A: What?
>
> Lancelot: He says they've already *got* one!
>
> A: (confused) Are you *sure* he's got one?
>
> S: Oh yes, it's ver' naahs. (to the other soldiers:) I told 'em we've already *got* one! (they
> snicker)
>
> A: (taken a bit off balance) Well... ah, um... Can we come up and have a
look?
>
> S: Of course not! You are English types.
>
> A: Well, what are you then?
>
> S: (Indignant) Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous accent, you silly king?!
>
> Galahad: What are you doing in *England*?
>
> S: Mind your own business!
>
> A: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
>
> S: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son
of a
> silly person! Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"! You
and
> all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!
>
> (the soldier proceeds to bang on his helmet with his hands and stick out
his
> tongue at the knights, making strange noises.)
>
> Galahad: What a strange person.
>
> A: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--
>
> S: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your
> general direction! Your mother was a hamster,
and
> your father smelt of elderberries!
>
> Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
>
> S: No!! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
>
> (pause)
>
> A: Now this is your last chance! I've been more than reasonable....
>
> S: (to four other soldiers, standing behind him on the rampart) Fetchez la vache.
>
> Other Soldier: qua?
>
> S: Fetchez la vache!
>
> (the other soldiers are seen leading a cow... mooing noises)
>
> A: (continued) ...if you do not agree to my commands, than I shall--
>
> (Boing! The cow goes flying through the air over the rampart...
>
> A: Jesus Christ!
>
> (...and lands, amid great mooing, on one of the footmen. Various
crying-outs
> from Arthur's party.)
>
> A: (determined) Right! (drawing sword) CHARGE!
>
> Rest of Arthur's Party: CHAAAARGE!
>
> (As they run towards the French Castle, swords drawn, they are met by a
huge
> onslaught of live animals of all sizes, that come plummeting down from
the
> ramparts of the castle. Amid screams, they all turn back before even
reaching
> the castle walls, save Launcelot, who reaches the stone wall in time to
give
> it one stroke with his sword before retreating.)
>
> French Soldier: (throwing down a goose) Hey, this one is for your mother! (and a duck) And this
> one's for your gran!
>
> Arthur's party: (hastily retreating) Run away! RUN AWAAAAY!
>
 
A

A&B

Guest
Thank-you bg Mikael Seierup wrote:
>
> King Arthur and his knights of the round table, along with their servants, "ride" up to a castle.
> King Arthur's servant, Patsy, blows a horn.
>
> Arthur: HELLO!
>
> (waits)
>
> Bedevere: HELLO!
>
> (waits)
>
> An armor-clad face appears at the top of the rampart. It speaks in an outrageous French accent.
>
> Soldier: 'Allo! 'Oo is it?
>
> Arthur: It is I, King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
>
> S: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
>
> A: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give
> us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
>
> S: Well, I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen-- 'e's already got one, you see?
>
> A: What?
>
> Lancelot: He says they've already *got* one!
>
> A: (confused) Are you *sure* he's got one?
>
> S: Oh yes, it's ver' naahs. (to the other soldiers:) I told 'em we've already *got* one! (they
> snicker)
>
> A: (taken a bit off balance) Well... ah, um... Can we come up and have a look?
>
> S: Of course not! You are English types.
>
> A: Well, what are you then?
>
> S: (Indignant) Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous accent, you silly king?!
>
> Galahad: What are you doing in *England*?
>
> S: Mind your own business!
>
> A: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
>
> S: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! Ah
> blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"! You and all your silly English
> Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!
>
> (the soldier proceeds to bang on his helmet with his hands and stick out his tongue at the
> knights, making strange noises.)
>
> Galahad: What a strange person.
>
> A: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--
>
> S: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your
> general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
>
> Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
>
> S: No!! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
>
> (pause)
>
> A: Now this is your last chance! I've been more than reasonable....
>
> S: (to four other soldiers, standing behind him on the rampart) Fetchez la vache.
>
> Other Soldier: qua?
>
> S: Fetchez la vache!
>
> (the other soldiers are seen leading a cow... mooing noises)
>
> A: (continued) ...if you do not agree to my commands, than I shall--
>
> (Boing! The cow goes flying through the air over the rampart...
>
> A: Jesus Christ!
>
> (...and lands, amid great mooing, on one of the footmen. Various crying-outs from Arthur's party.)
>
> A: (determined) Right! (drawing sword) CHARGE!
>
> Rest of Arthur's Party: CHAAAARGE!
>
> (As they run towards the French Castle, swords drawn, they are met by a huge onslaught of live
> animals of all sizes, that come plummeting down from the ramparts of the castle. Amid screams,
> they all turn back before even reaching the castle walls, save Launcelot, who reaches the stone
> wall in time to give it one stroke with his sword before retreating.)
>
> French Soldier: (throwing down a goose) Hey, this one is for your mother! (and a duck) And this
> one's for your gran!
>
> Arthur's party: (hastily retreating) Run away! RUN AWAAAAY!
>
>
 
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