Best doping excuse to date! Better than Tyler's Twin!

Discussion in 'Professional Cycling' started by Serafino, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. Serafino

    Serafino New Member

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    Wheelchair racing star Jeff Adams says an unknown woman stuffed cocaine into his mouth as he sat beside her on a sofa in the Toronto goth bar Vatikan.

    Adams said that bizarre scenario led to his positive doping test for cocaine at a race a week later in Ottawa.

    Adams testified at a hearing before an independent arbitrator that the woman forced cocaine into his mouth with her fingers in the Vatikan bar on May 21, 2006. He said he washed it out immediately.

    Adams said the catheter he used after that incident to extract urine was the same one he used to give a urine sample a week later after a race at the Canadian wheelchair marathon championships in Ottawa. He said that contaminated catheter caused his positive test for a cocaine metabolite.

    http://www.thestar.com/Sports/article/224737
     
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  2. Wayne666

    Wayne666 New Member

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    That's good, but VDB's "they're for my dog" is always going to be the one to beat. Rumsas gave it a run with replacing the do with his mother-in-law but I still say VDB's excuse is the best.
     
  3. helmutRoole2

    helmutRoole2 New Member

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    I'd say for a single excuse, this one at least deserves a podium placing, maybe even top step. VDB is also on the podium with his dog excuse. But comparing either to Hamilton is like comparing apples and oranges. Let me tell you why.

    VDB, this wheelchair guy and many others have concentrated on a single excuse and stuck to it, and that's very impressive. They've come up with many creative twists and subplots to explain their single excuse.

    But people, it's still just a single excuse. Did they have to explain it multiple times? Yes. Where there multiple explanations for the single excuse? Of course. Several presses conferences held with each twist and subplot? You bet. But still, it's one excuse. It's like comparing a stage racer to a classics man. Can't really be done. Or, like comparing the riders who once raced a full season to riders who concentrate on one or two races.

    It's like comparing EM to LA.

    Using this analogy, Hamilton is like EM and VDB and the wheelchair guy are like LA. Sure, they excelled brilliantly with a single excuse, but the volume of Hamilton's excuses combine with the flamboyant, creative and unabashed stupidity in which they were presented puts Hamilton, IMHO, in a class by himself.

    With Hamilton we have dogs, twins, conspiracy, ibelieve.com, defense funds, buttons, shoddy test procedures and blackmail. The way Hamilton has taken his positive test result and turned into a cottage industry clearly puts him in a league of his own. No doper has ever shown such brilliance.

    Are there also-rans who give Hamilton a run for his money? Sure. Armstrong rates very high. IMHO, I believe Hamilton lifted some of his best stuff from Armstrong. But like good artists who steal ideas, Hamilton melded those excuses into a distinct body of work using ground breaking techniques that will be used by generations of cyclists to come.

    Landis has -- again IMHO -- stolen from Hamilton but lacks the artistic tools to make those excuses his own. In fact, it's apparent that Landis has stolen all his excuses from other athletes. Let's examine:

    1) French conspiracy... LA
    2) Shoddy lab techs... LA and Ham
    3) I'm an alcoholic... okay, I'll give him that one.
    4) Lemond is somehow involved... LA
    5) Mystery caller... Ham
    6) Justifiable performance... LA
    7) PEDs don't work for me... Carl Lewis.
    8) Defense fund... Ham

    I respect Serf and his many ideas. I also have to give Wayne666 credit for having a solid thought process, but I must respectfully disagree with their approach on this subject and ask that Lim throw them off the forum for six weeks for their flawed thinking.
     
  4. Flyer

    Flyer Banned

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    Nike scripted responses:

    1) superior work ethic
    2) belief in miracles
    3) claims of never failing a drug test (even after failing a drug test)
    4) pitching cool $300 sneakers
    5) Just do it!
     
  5. Bro Deal

    Bro Deal New Member

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    You forgot Frigo's suitcase full of dope, none which he was using but he just kept the stuff with him just in case he needed it.

    Here's a few more:

    JAVIER SOTOMAYOR, TRACK AND FIELD Busted for: Cocaine in 1999
    Excuse: The Cuban high jumper blamed the Mafia. His government blamed the CIA.

    JUNSUKE INOUE, BILLIARDS Busted for: Methyltestosterone in 1998
    Excuse: The 58-year-old wasn't taking the stuff to improve his pool game but to keep his cue stiff. "My wife deserved to be satisfied," he said.

    PETR KORDA, TENNIS Busted for: Nandrolone in 1998
    Excuse: He ingested it accidentally while dining on steroid-fed veal.
    Outcome: One-year ban; testing found that he would have needed to wolf down 40 calves a day for 20 years to account for the levels in his system.

    DENNIS MITCHELL, TRACK AND FIELD Busted for: Testosterone in 1998
    Excuses: An evening of frolicking raised the sprinter's level to unnatural heights. The three-time Olympic medalist blamed excessive beer drinking and sex with his wife the night before testing.

    DANIEL PLAZA, TRACK AND FIELD Busted for: Nandrolone in 1996
    Excuse: Prolonged oral sex with his pregnant wife caused the race walker to absorb the steroid, which pregnant women may produce naturally.

    ADRI VAN DER POEL, CYCLING Busted for: Strychnine in 1983
    Excuse: His pigeon-racing father-in-law fed him pie made from doped-up birds.
     
  6. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    How about this one?
    " Honey ,I was just changing my clothes when this naked woman came in and started taking things from the house. I was holding her down in hopes that you would get home soon and call the police. I am so glad to see you!
    Why don't you take your clothes off hold her down for a while and I will take some photos for evidence".
     
  7. Flyer

    Flyer Banned

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    wwee
     
  8. Flyer

    Flyer Banned

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    ewwwew
     
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