Beware of eBay scammers, but you're all too damn smart anyways... (long)

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by Zeeexsixare, Feb 4, 2004.

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  1. Zeeexsixare

    Zeeexsixare Guest

    So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel
    out for the reserve. Lo and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it
    offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is how it went (skip through
    the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):

    First solicitation:

    Hi there, I have this Kona Dawg 2004 Mountain Bike 18 at price 800 USD.If you are interested reply
    me soon for more details of info. Respects.

    ===================================================

    Note: Immediately contact Rules & Safety http://www.ebay.com.sg/help?page=helpPolicies if one of
    eBay's rules were violated, such as:
    - Your contact information was used for purposes unrelated to eBay business, published online
    or offline, or was used for the purposes of harassment.
    - You received contact information which you believe to be erroneous.

    Thank you for using eBay! http://www.ebay.com.sg/

    --------------------------------------
    My reply:

    Actually I'm looking for a Kona Stinky 2002 or 2003 for around the same price range. Do you have
    these? What is your phone number? Where are you located? How would I send payment?

    Phil, Squid-in-Training
    --------------------------------------
    His reply:

    Hi there,

    My phone doesn't work...Like you saw in the auction for the payment i accept money order transfers
    via MoneyGram or Western Union and i will ship the package via UPS Air Express, FedEx or DHL.But i
    think i will make the delivery via UPS Air Express becasuse you will receive the package must
    fast.I will pay the shipping and insurance costs and you must pay the money order fees because i
    think this is fair for both of us!Let's close this deal.Please let's close this deal using Western
    Union money transfers because i have an agent just around the corner and it will be much easy for
    me when i will pick up the money.So here's what you have to do.You must go to an Western Union
    office and make the payment on my name and address, after you made the payment people from Western
    Union will give you a MTC# (Money Transfer Control Number), you must mail me this number and i will
    check with this number at Western Union web page and if everything it's fine and you are a serious
    buyer i will go right away at UPS and send you the package and the tracking number from UPS in your
    e-mail to be able to check that the package is in your way.After you will receive the package you
    must mail me to pick up the money.Thanks and i will wait your full name and address because i need
    to know where i must shipp the package!
    ---------------------------------------
    My reply:

    Actually, I'd like to pay $2000 for this bike. I think it's worth that much. Please ship the bike
    first to 14923 Count Chocula Way, Miami, FL 38471. Once I receive the bike, I will send cash through
    the mail. I think that we'll both benefit from doing business this way. I'm sure you'll be
    comfortable sending me the bike based on my feedback. Let me know if this is ok. Have a nice day!

    --------------------------------------
    His reply:

    Hi there, I don`t make the same mistake to send the product first and no receive any money.I will
    wait your mail for more details. Respects John
    ----------------------------------------
    My reply:

    I thought that your name was Mike. Your e-mail address says Mike Elbe, but you signed your message
    John. Which is it? Oh well, it doesn't matter.

    I will have my mommy and daddy approve my purchase. I am 7 years old and think that they will pay
    for this. What do you think? How do you go potty?

    If they approve, I will have a money order sent out on Monday. What address should I send the
    money order to?

    Phil, Squid-in-Training
    -----------------------------------------
    His reply:

    Hi there, My name is John Nemor and Mike Elbe is my step brother. My full name and adress is John
    Nemor Address: Estrada da Outurela, 118 - A 2795-606 Carnaxide Portugal For payment accept only
    Western Union because i don`t have a Paypal acount and is muck easy.I will shipp via UPS EXPRESS AIR
    and arrive in 2 days.if you are agree reply me soon for more details or info. I must tell you that
    i'm a honest man.. I have a wife and I have two childrens.. One boy and one girl (Maria and
    Alexander).. I have a question for you: Do you think that I will risk my freedom going to jail for
    your money ?! I'm sorry but I will not do that because I have childrens to grow up !

    I have a proposition for you: You will go to any Western Union agency and you will send the money
    my address ! You will put a secret question and a secret answer to your money ! In that way I can't
    pick up the money !

    You will e-mail me with your full name and address and I will go right to UPS to ship you the
    package ! I will contact you with the UPS scaned paper and that alows you to see that the package
    has been sent already to your address !The only way in that we can close this deal is Western Union
    ! Don't forget that I can't pick up your money without my address and without the secret question
    and the secret answer.I will wait your mail with your decision.

    Respects John
    ----------------------------------------
    My reply:

    How do I know that you won't just take the money and run away? I heard from friends that people
    often offer deals outside of eBay, ask for money by Western Union, and then disappear, never to
    return. They also speak broken English because they're from a country in which English isn't the
    primary language (Mr. Matthews would enjoy that, huh? lol)

    Did I mention that I'm an honest man too? I work 3 jobs, 120 hours per week, and I have 18 kids to
    feed. I also have 5 wives, but that's besides the point. Anyways, I work my ass off dealing crack
    and heroin... I need this bike for transportation. Granted, I like to jump off of buildings too, but
    the cops probably dont' care about the bike jumping compared to the drug trafficking.

    Anyways, despite all the obvious warning signs that this is a scam, I think I'll buy this bike from
    you. I will have the secret message and password ready for you by tomorrow. I'm sending you
    $328,315,342,682,231.22 by Western Union to the address you gave me. Of course I only have $168 in
    my bank account, but since I'll be scamming you, I'm sure you won't mind.

    Thanks for doing business with me!

    Phil, Squid-in-Training
    ---------------------------------------
    His reply:

    Hi there, The bike cost 800USd including the shipping taxes and all insurances.I`m not aa scammer.l
    m not a scammer.So email me your decision. Respects John
    ---------------------------------------
    My reply:

    Alright. I'll buy your bike! I've sent out the money order for $2 billion dollars (say it like, "Two
    beeeeeleeeyon dollars" for maximum effect) to the Portugal address. The secret password question is:
    "Who?" and the answer me, "Me!"

    You wouldn't happen to live in Singapore, would you?

    I am an FBI agent (You've watched those Hollywood government conspiracy movies, where the innocent
    scammer was taken to the secluded area where nobody could hear his screams as they disembowled him
    and such, right?). So basically, I'm going to kick your little patootie to "Federal Pound-me-in-the-
    ass prison." Hmm... another cultural reference you might not know. Oh wait, it's from a scamming
    movie, so maybe you've seen it! Problem is, you probably have virtually no idea what I'm talking
    about or what I'm saying to you, so the point is moot.

    Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah... neither do I, but that's ok. I'm
    sure they rip off your testicles regardless of the offense.

    Have a nice day! :)
    ---------------------------------------

    --
    Phil, Squid-in-Training
     
    Tags:


  2. Tcmedara

    Tcmedara Guest

    ZeeExSixAre <[email protected]> wrote:
    > (snip)> Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah... neither do I, but
    > that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles regardless of the offense.
    >
    > Have a nice day! :)

    Well done! Worth the read. I'm amazed that people actually fall for this stuff.

    Tom
     
  3. Rocketman

    Rocketman Guest

    "ZeeExSixAre" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun...
    <friggin' hilarious story snipped>

    > basically, I'm going to kick your little patootie to "Federal Pound-me-in-the-ass prison." Hmm...
    > another cultural reference you might not know. Oh wait, it's from a scamming movie, so maybe
    > you've seen it!

    "Conjugal visits? Not that I'm aware of. You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a
    client in there once. He said the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become
    somebody's bitch."

    "Hey, Peter, man! It's the breast exam lady!"

    Mike Judge is a friggin' geeeenius.

    r0cK3T/\/\4|\|
     
  4. Slacker

    Slacker Guest

    tcmedara wrote:
    > ZeeExSixAre <[email protected]> wrote:
    >> (snip)> Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah... neither do I, but
    >> that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles regardless of the offense.
    >>
    >> Have a nice day! :)
    >
    >
    > Well done! Worth the read. I'm amazed that people actually fall for this stuff.
    >
    > Tom

    lol excellent
    --
    Slacker
     
  5. Westie

    Westie Guest

    ZeeExSixAre wrote:
    > So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel out for the reserve. Lo
    > and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is
    > how it went (skip through the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):
    >
    ><snip>

    Good stuff. Had a great laugh over it. :)
    --
    Westie (Replace 'invalid' with 'yahoo' when replying.)
     
  6. Kumkaneco

    Kumkaneco Guest

    I´m ashamed that this guy lives in the same country as I do.

    KK

    "ZeeExSixAre" <[email protected]> escreveu na mensagem
    news:[email protected]...
    > So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel out for the reserve. Lo
    > and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is
    > how it went (skip through the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):
    >
    >
    > First solicitation:
    >
    > Hi there, I have this Kona Dawg 2004 Mountain Bike 18 at price 800 USD.If you are interested reply
    > me soon for more details of info. Respects.
    >
    > ===================================================
    >
    > Note: Immediately contact Rules & Safety http://www.ebay.com.sg/help?page=helpPolicies if one of
    > eBay's rules were violated, such as:
    > - Your contact information was used for purposes unrelated to eBay business, published online
    > or offline, or was used for the purposes of harassment.
    > - You received contact information which you believe to be erroneous.
    >
    > Thank you for using eBay! http://www.ebay.com.sg/
    >
    > --------------------------------------
    > My reply:
    >
    > Actually I'm looking for a Kona Stinky 2002 or 2003 for around the same price range. Do you have
    > these? What is your phone number? Where are you located? How would I send payment?
    >
    > Phil, Squid-in-Training
    > --------------------------------------
    > His reply:
    >
    > Hi there,
    >
    >
    > My phone doesn't work...Like you saw in the auction for the payment i
    > accept money order transfers via MoneyGram or Western Union and i will
    ship
    > the package via UPS Air Express, FedEx or DHL.But i think i will make the delivery via UPS Air
    > Express becasuse you will receive the package must fast.I will pay the shipping and insurance
    > costs and you must pay the
    money
    > order fees because i think this is fair for both of us!Let's close this deal.Please let's close
    > this deal using Western Union money transfers because i have an agent just around the corner and
    > it will be much easy
    for
    > me when i will pick up the money.So here's what you have to do.You must go to an Western Union
    > office and make the payment on my name and address, after you made the payment people from Western
    > Union will give you a MTC# (Money Transfer Control Number), you
    must
    > mail me this number and i will check with this number at Western Union web page and if everything
    > it's fine and you are a serious buyer i will go
    right
    > away at UPS and send you the package and the tracking number from UPS in your e-mail to be able to
    > check that the package is in your way.After you will receive the package you must mail me to pick
    > up the money.Thanks and
    i
    > will wait your full name and address because i need to know where i must shipp the package!
    > ---------------------------------------
    > My reply:
    >
    > Actually, I'd like to pay $2000 for this bike. I think it's worth that much. Please ship the bike
    > first to 14923 Count Chocula Way, Miami, FL 38471. Once I receive the bike, I will send cash
    > through the mail. I
    think
    > that we'll both benefit from doing business this way. I'm sure you'll be comfortable sending me
    > the bike based on my feedback. Let me know if this is ok. Have a nice day!
    >
    > --------------------------------------
    > His reply:
    >
    > Hi there, I don`t make the same mistake to send the product first and no receive any money.I will
    > wait your mail for more details. Respects John
    > ----------------------------------------
    > My reply:
    >
    >
    > I thought that your name was Mike. Your e-mail address says Mike Elbe,
    but
    > you signed your message John. Which is it? Oh well, it doesn't matter.
    >
    > I will have my mommy and daddy approve my purchase. I am 7 years old and think that they will pay
    > for this. What do you think? How do you go
    potty?
    >
    > If they approve, I will have a money order sent out on Monday. What
    address
    > should I send the money order to?
    >
    > Phil, Squid-in-Training
    > -----------------------------------------
    > His reply:
    >
    > Hi there, My name is John Nemor and Mike Elbe is my step brother. My full name and adress is John
    > Nemor Address: Estrada da Outurela, 118 - A 2795-606 Carnaxide Portugal For payment accept only
    > Western Union because i don`t have a Paypal acount and is muck easy.I will shipp via UPS EXPRESS
    > AIR and arrive in 2 days.if you are agree reply me soon for more details or info. I must tell you
    > that i'm a honest man.. I have a wife and I have two childrens.. One boy and one girl (Maria and
    > Alexander).. I have a question for you: Do you think that I will risk my freedom going to jail for
    > your money ?! I'm sorry but I will not do that because I have childrens to grow up !
    >
    > I have a proposition for you: You will go to any Western Union agency and you will send the money
    > my address ! You will put a secret question and a secret answer to your money ! In that way I
    > can't pick up the money !
    >
    > You will e-mail me with your full name and address and I will go right to UPS to ship you the
    > package ! I will contact you with the UPS scaned paper and that alows you to see that the package
    > has been sent already to your address !The only way in that we can close this deal is Western
    > Union ! Don't forget that I can't pick up your money without my address and
    without
    > the secret question and the secret answer.I will wait your mail with
    your
    > decision.
    >
    > Respects John
    > ----------------------------------------
    > My reply:
    >
    > How do I know that you won't just take the money and run away? I heard
    from
    > friends that people often offer deals outside of eBay, ask for money by Western Union, and then
    > disappear, never to return. They also speak
    broken
    > English because they're from a country in which English isn't the primary language (Mr. Matthews
    > would enjoy that, huh? lol)
    >
    > Did I mention that I'm an honest man too? I work 3 jobs, 120 hours per week, and I have 18 kids to
    > feed. I also have 5 wives, but that's besides the point. Anyways, I work my ass off dealing crack
    > and heroin... I need this bike for transportation. Granted, I like to jump off of buildings
    too,
    > but the cops probably dont' care about the bike jumping compared to the
    drug
    > trafficking.
    >
    > Anyways, despite all the obvious warning signs that this is a scam, I
    think
    > I'll buy this bike from you. I will have the secret message and password ready for you by
    > tomorrow. I'm sending you $328,315,342,682,231.22 by Western Union to the address you gave me. Of
    > course I only have $168 in
    my
    > bank account, but since I'll be scamming you, I'm sure you won't mind.
    >
    > Thanks for doing business with me!
    >
    > Phil, Squid-in-Training
    > ---------------------------------------
    > His reply:
    >
    > Hi there, The bike cost 800USd including the shipping taxes and all
    insurances.I`m
    > not aa scammer.l m not a scammer.So email me your decision. Respects John
    > ---------------------------------------
    > My reply:
    >
    > Alright. I'll buy your bike! I've sent out the money order for $2
    billion
    > dollars (say it like, "Two beeeeeleeeyon dollars" for maximum effect) to
    the
    > Portugal address. The secret password question is: "Who?" and the answer me, "Me!"
    >
    > You wouldn't happen to live in Singapore, would you?
    >
    > I am an FBI agent (You've watched those Hollywood government conspiracy movies, where the innocent
    > scammer was taken to the secluded area where nobody could hear his screams as they disembowled him
    > and such, right?).
    So
    > basically, I'm going to kick your little patootie to "Federal Pound-me-in-the-ass prison." Hmm...
    > another cultural reference you might not know. Oh wait, it's from a scamming movie, so maybe
    > you've seen it! Problem is, you probably have virtually no idea what I'm talking about or what I'm
    > saying to you, so the point is moot.
    >
    > Do you know what the penalties for fraud are in Singapore? Yeah...
    neither
    > do I, but that's ok. I'm sure they rip off your testicles regardless of
    the
    > offense.
    >
    > Have a nice day! :)
    > ---------------------------------------
    >
    >
    > --
    > Phil, Squid-in-Training
     
  7. Jonesy

    Jonesy Guest

    "ZeeExSixAre" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > So here's the background story. I bid on a Kona Dawg just for fun to feel out for the reserve. Lo
    > and behold, a scammer that saw that I bid on it offered me a new 2004 for $800 shipped. Here is
    > how it went (skip through the long section that he writes, but read all my stuff):

    Freakin' hilarious.

    Good job.
    --
    Jonesy
     
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