Bike ride turns into test of paternal instinct

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Mike Kruger, Feb 19, 2006.

  1. Mike Kruger

    Mike Kruger Guest

    Is there such a thing as paternal instinct? If there is, how does it differ
    from maternal instinct? Perhaps this story will illuminate.

    This morning I'm biking east about 8:30 a.m. in the cold (5F). As I go over
    the expressway, I see a black garbage bag in the middle of the opposite
    lane. Immediately, my thoughts turn to those stories about babies found in
    garbage bags in dumpsters. This seems to be a silly thought and I continue
    down the hill, but the thought won't go away. I turn around, ride back up
    the overpass, and stop. At the very least, I will at least get this bag out
    of the traffic lane and make the world a slightly better place.

    It's apparent when I pick it up that there's no baby inside, but I can't
    resist looking. Much to my surprise the bag is filled with -- used baby

    Was is the smell of the diapers that made me think of babies? This is
    unlikely. The bag was downwind, and sealed. In the extreme cold, the diapers
    didn't really smell much even after I opened up the bag.

    I saw two other black garbage bags farther off the road, as if they had
    blown off. One was partly open and contained plastic bottles. So, these
    people were good people who separated their recyclables. The fact that they
    were either careless or intentionally dumped them on the side of the road
    notwithstanding, they did sort their trash so they aren't completely
    irresponsible. At least, not irresponsible enough to leave their baby by the
    side of the road.

    I didn't open the third bag, but it definitely didn't have a baby in it. I
    think it was tin cans. I stacked the bags together where they weren't
    likely to get into more mischief and got back on the bike.

    Paternal instinct? Maybe. But mine needs improvement if all it's finding is
    soiled diapers.

  2. That's funny, everytime I see a trash bag by the side of the road on a
    bike ride I pray that it's not a dead baby. But I also cry and get mad
    everytime I read or hear about horror stories involving babies being
    killed or beaten.