Bored with OLN commercials

[Mad Dog]

I'd like to see the Aussie chick drain the Fosters, then nail the dude in the
forehead with the empty. If not that, then the dude misses the throw and breaks
her window, then *****es her out for trashing his CDs.

I'd like to see the Levi chick kick the dude's ass for forging the worn jeans.
The kick should be to the balls, but apparently, he has none. Then she drops
the jeans he's wearing and takes her panties back.

We need rad biking commercials, like lightning-fast descents, lung-searing
climbs, wild crashes and women racers just racing, oh yea! Why not a Colnago
commercial or at least Shimano (oh, because, with OLN zooming in on a zillion
D/A 7800 drivetrains a day, why bother?)

It wouldn't be hard to make the Capital One commercials really go out of
control. That could be fun...

How about a spoof doping commercial? "Discount EPO sale begins right after the
end of the Tour". Or maybe a half hour special on the Tyler Crhonicles?

I'd like to see the announcers ride an HC ascent. And bonk on film while wired
up live. And make Jared work the feed zone, throwing foot long subs at them.

Or when the announcers do the Trek Lucky 7, Bob gets a terrorist-adulterated
"scratch and boom" card that blows his nose off?

Man oh man, another week and a half of these repeats is gonna suck! I'll never
buy a Subaru, that's fer certain. And I certainly didn't need reminding of why
I knew Survivor was lame the first time around.

 

[Eric Hill]

Mad Dog wrote:
> Or when the announcers do the Trek Lucky 7, Bob gets a terrorist-adulterated
> "scratch and boom" card that blows his nose off?

I'm probably in the minority here, but I think these commercials are
funny. I almost feel like visiting a Trek dealer (or website) to
participate. Almost.

-eric

 

[Raptor]

Mad Dog wrote:
> Man oh man, another week and a half of these repeats is gonna suck! I'll never
> buy a Subaru, that's fer certain. And I certainly didn't need reminding of why
> I knew Survivor was lame the first time around.

The Giro ad with the kid, the devil and the camera moto is very good.

--
--
Lynn Wallace http://www.xmission.com/~lawall

Conservative dictionary:
Judicial Activist: n. A judge who tends to rule against your wishes.

 

[Frank Drackman]

"Mad Dog" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I'd like to see the Aussie chick drain the Fosters, then nail the dude in
> the
> forehead with the empty. If not that, then the dude misses the throw and
> breaks
> her window, then *****es her out for trashing his CDs.
>
Two words

Ti Vo

 

[Tom]

Exactly my friend. Exactly. I don't even know what commercials this
guy is rambling on about.

Tom

 

[David Ferguson]

On 15 Jul 2005 14:03:56 -0700, "Tom" <[email protected]> wrote:

>Exactly my friend. Exactly. I don't even know what commercials this
>guy is rambling on about.
>
>Tom

I FF the commercials but always stop right when the Aussie chick says
"ok, i forgive you".

Smokin' hot.

 

[[email protected]]

To me, the weirdest thing about the OLN coverage of the Tour de France
is that it's on OLN. When Armstrong signed with Discovery I was sure
that they would cover the Tour.

-ilan

 

[Frank Drackman]

<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> To me, the weirdest thing about the OLN coverage of the Tour de France
> is that it's on OLN. When Armstrong signed with Discovery I was sure
> that they would cover the Tour.
>
>

OLN had a multiyear TDF broadcast contract before Discovery Channel signed
up.

 

[[email protected]]

RonSonic wrote:
> On 14 Jul 2005 21:50:02 -0700, Mad Dog <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> "It was the most powerful experience of my life!" I suppose he's never been
> kneecapped with a .38, set afire and extinguished with a shovel.

Few of us have, come to think of it.

> Subaru? Like a Costco store-brand Volvo.

"Doctors and lawyers buy Volvos; quixotic engineers buy Subarus."
- Car Talk guys. They forgot to mention lesbians, though.

> Hand puppet fronting for a loan company - so obviously risible nothing I say can
> compare.

Worst part is it's the Pets.com puppet. But the good thing is
the sock puppet is the only survivor of Pets.com that has a
paying job.

> They really need to work on the market scale of their advertising. The cycling
> crowd ain't the guys who never get out to do any actual fishing instead of
> drinking beerskees and watching it.

It's the advertisers who look at the demographic of the channel,
more than the channel looking at the demographics of the advertisers.
Apparently, OLN cycling watchers drink Fosters while driving Subarus,
munching on Subway sandwiches, and talking to sock puppets. That's
our demographic niche.

Just one thing: the OP probably hasn't, but you may have been
watching the Tour on OLN long enough to remember the days of the
incessant "Runawayshoes dot com!" ad. If you have, you should know
better than to complain. You'll get a Fosters ad and a sock puppet
and like it.

 

[sonarrat]

[email protected] wrote:

>>Subaru? Like a Costco store-brand Volvo.

> "Doctors and lawyers buy Volvos; quixotic engineers buy Subarus."
> - Car Talk guys. They forgot to mention lesbians, though.

My dad had a Subaru SVX, that funky $30,000 GT coupe with the
Lamborghini-style segmented windows the company built from '92-'97. It
was mostly remarkable for burning oil in the engine compartment, blowing
wheel bearings and making the drive-thru at McDonald's an impossible dream.

 

[RonSonic]

On 15 Jul 2005 21:50:39 -0700, "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>RonSonic wrote:
>> On 14 Jul 2005 21:50:02 -0700, Mad Dog <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> "It was the most powerful experience of my life!" I suppose he's never been
>> kneecapped with a .38, set afire and extinguished with a shovel.
>
>Few of us have, come to think of it.

True. But if it happened to him I wouldn't laugh my ass off.

>> They really need to work on the market scale of their advertising. The cycling
>> crowd ain't the guys who never get out to do any actual fishing instead of
>> drinking beerskees and watching it.
>
>It's the advertisers who look at the demographic of the channel,
>more than the channel looking at the demographics of the advertisers.
>Apparently, OLN cycling watchers drink Fosters while driving Subarus,
>munching on Subway sandwiches, and talking to sock puppets. That's
>our demographic niche.

The OLN sales department should have something to say about that.

>Just one thing: the OP probably hasn't, but you may have been
>watching the Tour on OLN long enough to remember the days of the
>incessant "Runawayshoes dot com!" ad. If you have, you should know
>better than to complain. You'll get a Fosters ad and a sock puppet
>and like it.

No, I don't remember those. Don't know if it was during a lapse of interest in
the sport of in cable television, but I seem to have missed the experience.

Sounds painful.

Ron

 

[Steven L. Sheffield]

On 07/15/2005 08:12 PM, in article
[email protected], "[email protected]"
<[email protected]> wrote:

> To me, the weirdest thing about the OLN coverage of the Tour de France
> is that it's on OLN. When Armstrong signed with Discovery I was sure
> that they would cover the Tour.



You expected OLN to forget they have a multi-year contract to cover the Tour
and just hand over the reigns to another channel with little or no
experience covering sporting events?



--
Steven L. Sheffield
stevens at veloworks dot com
bellum pax est libertas servitus est ignoratio vis est
ess ay ell tea ell ay kay ee sea eye tee why you ti ay aitch
aitch tee tea pea colon [for word] slash [four ward] slash double-you
double-yew double-ewe dot veloworks dot com [foreword] slash

 

[[email protected]]

Steven L. Sheffield a écrit :
>
> You expected OLN to forget they have a multi-year contract to cover the Tour
> and just hand over the reigns to another channel with little or no
> experience covering sporting events?

I just checked out the Discovery Channel website. It looks like they
have enough resources to buy OLN.

-ilan

 

[Frank Drackman]

<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...


Steven L. Sheffield a écrit :
>
> You expected OLN to forget they have a multi-year contract to cover the
> Tour
> and just hand over the reigns to another channel with little or no
> experience covering sporting events?

I just checked out the Discovery Channel website. It looks like they
have enough resources to buy OLN.

Let me get this straight, you looked at the discovery Channel website and
determined that they have enough resources to buy OLN? What metrics did you
use for selling price, payment method, goodwill, and all of the other
variables that are required evaluate the purchase?

 

[Nev Shea]

"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in
news:[email protected]:

>
> <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>
> Steven L. Sheffield a écrit :
>>
>> You expected OLN to forget they have a multi-year contract to cover
>> the Tour
>> and just hand over the reigns to another channel with little or no
>> experience covering sporting events?
>
> I just checked out the Discovery Channel website. It looks like they
> have enough resources to buy OLN.
>
> Let me get this straight, you looked at the discovery Channel website
> and determined that they have enough resources to buy OLN? What
> metrics did you use for selling price, payment method, goodwill, and
> all of the other variables that are required evaluate the purchase?

How about the star power they can afford?

Discover Channel can afford Lance Armstrong
OLN can afford Bob Roll.

NS

 

[RonSonic]

On Sun, 17 Jul 2005 16:50:29 GMT, Nev Shea <[email protected]> wrote:

>"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in
>news:[email protected]:
>
>>
>> <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>
>>
>> Steven L. Sheffield a écrit :
>>>
>>> You expected OLN to forget they have a multi-year contract to cover
>>> the Tour
>>> and just hand over the reigns to another channel with little or no
>>> experience covering sporting events?
>>
>> I just checked out the Discovery Channel website. It looks like they
>> have enough resources to buy OLN.
>>
>> Let me get this straight, you looked at the discovery Channel website
>> and determined that they have enough resources to buy OLN? What
>> metrics did you use for selling price, payment method, goodwill, and
>> all of the other variables that are required evaluate the purchase?
>
>How about the star power they can afford?
>
>Discover Channel can afford Lance Armstrong
>OLN can afford Bob Roll.

I'd much rather hang, ride and drink beer with Bob than Lance.

Ron