Bush and Hussein Debate!



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A

Al Kubeluis

Guest
Benters, Please excuse off-topic matter, but in case you missed it live on tv.
~~~al.kubeluis..md.usa.earth.sun.milkyway.virgo.universe..corsa~~~

Bush and Hussein Debate! Tuesday February 25, 2003

Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between George W Bush and Saddam
Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters in New York. We will begin with a brief opening
statement from each of you.

Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN, one of the great American
institutions for the propulsion of freedom throughout the world.

Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find some common ground
between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and human progress and America's desire to destroy
the Middle East.

Bush: Do I answer that?

Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links with al-Qaida?

Bush: I do not.

Blair: The question is for President Saddam.

Saddam: As I told Mr Tony Bennet clearly and simply, if I had links with al-Qaida and I enjoyed
those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the world, but since I am ashamed to tell the world
of this, it follows that I have no such links.

Bush: Neither do I.

Blair: The second question is for Mr Bush. Mr Bush, if America and Iraq were to go to war tomorrow,
who would win?

Bush: That's easy. America, right?

Saddam: Even I knew that one.

Bush: That's because the great United American States of America are on the side of rightliness and
Americanity, against an evil Axis of Evil made up of Iraq, North Korea and... how many are in an
axis? Three?

Blair: I think you're allowed as many as you like.

Bush: OK, Iraq, North Korea and France.

Saddam: I will tell you frankly and directly that Iraq is not part of any Axis of Evil.

Bush: Who am I thinking of then? Irania?

Blair: Let's move on. Saddam, are you willing to destroy your stockpile of Samoud 2 missiles in
accordance with UN weapons inspectors' orders?

Saddam: I explain to you now that if Iraq possessed these so-called weapons, we would never destroy
them, but since we do not have any such weapons, we are happy to comply, even though these
non-existent weapons certainly do not exceed the proscribed range of 150 kms. I've tested them
myself, and we don't have any.

Blair: The final question is for George Bush. Mr President, is there any way that Saddam Hussein can
avoid war, and what steps must he now take in order to reach a negotiated solution?

Bush: Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with the UN inspectorers, and I
mean activated compilation, not passivist compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping with
UN revelation 1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even more fully
that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other weapons of mass destruction he's found,
or not found, to be possessive of, without being asked. Finally, there is one more task he must
perform, which I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough.

Blair: The translator would like to take your answer home with him and work on it over the weekend.

Bush: Fine, but we require nothing less than total disarmature.

Saddam: OK.

Blair: Sorry, but I'm not sure that "disarmature" is a word. I defer to the UN Keeper of the
Dictionary, Mr Richard Stilgoe.

Stilgoe: Yes, you can have disarmature. It means, "the action of disarming" according to the OED.

Bush: Exactly. He must cut his own arms off.

Saddam: If it means peace, I will do it.

Bush: Too late.

Stilgoe: Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram of 'Demands a Sushi'?

Saddam: Yes, I've heard them all.

Bush: I don't eat sushi. Is there a fish option?

Blair: I'd like to remind everyone at home that the Monica Lewinsky-Tonya Harding fight follows
after the break.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
M

Maria Teresa Ch

Guest
Funny. I'd have thought that Bush would have defended "Resolved: Recumbent bicycles are in all
respects superior to Wedgies".

Gotta give Saddam some style points, but all in all I think Bush kicked his butt.

I think it was all for show, though. I think Bush would have argued with equal skill for the
recumbent side, and I think that if the truth were known he'd opt for a recumbent. Probably a SWB,
USS because he's an athlete and a former fighter pilot.

Hussein is most assuredly a "comfort bike" type. He's woefully fluffy and out of shape, and it would
be terribly difficult for him to ride a recumbent with no hands whilst shooting a gun off into the
air. I'll bet he'd wear some version of his stupid Fred hat while he is out cycling, and wouldn't be
caught dead wearing a helm*t.

Those are just my opinions. I could be wrong.
 
X

x

Guest
RE/
>Bush and Hussein Debate!

W.C. Fields had an another alternative method for resolving international conflict.

Don't have the exact words, but it was to the effect of:

"Put the leaders in a closed arena, give each one a sock filled with horse manure, and let 'em
slug it out."
-----------------------
PeteCresswell
 
F

Freewheeling

Guest
Al:

I heard that Saddam is going to open the debate, and Bush will hone in on the uplink and reply by
cruise missile.

--
--Scott [email protected] Cut the "tail" to send email.

"Al Kubeluis" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Benters, Please excuse off-topic matter, but in case you missed it live on tv.
> ~~~al.kubeluis..md.usa.earth.sun.milkyway.virgo.universe..corsa~~~
>
> Bush and Hussein Debate! Tuesday February 25, 2003
>
> Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between
George
> W Bush and Saddam Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters in New York. We will begin with a
> brief opening statement from each of you.
>
> Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN, one of the great
> American institutions for the propulsion of freedom throughout the world.
>
> Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find some common ground
> between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and
human
> progress and America's desire to destroy the Middle East.
>
> Bush: Do I answer that?
>
> Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links with al-Qaida?
>
> Bush: I do not.
>
> Blair: The question is for President Saddam.
>
> Saddam: As I told Mr Tony Bennet clearly and simply, if I had links with al-Qaida and I enjoyed
> those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the world, but since I am ashamed to tell the
> world of this, it follows that I have no such links.
>
> Bush: Neither do I.
>
> Blair: The second question is for Mr Bush. Mr Bush, if America and Iraq
were
> to go to war tomorrow, who would win?
>
> Bush: That's easy. America, right?
>
> Saddam: Even I knew that one.
>
> Bush: That's because the great United American States of America are on
the
> side of rightliness and Americanity, against an evil Axis of Evil made up
of
> Iraq, North Korea and... how many are in an axis? Three?
>
> Blair: I think you're allowed as many as you like.
>
> Bush: OK, Iraq, North Korea and France.
>
> Saddam: I will tell you frankly and directly that Iraq is not part of any Axis of Evil.
>
> Bush: Who am I thinking of then? Irania?
>
> Blair: Let's move on. Saddam, are you willing to destroy your stockpile of Samoud 2 missiles in
> accordance with UN weapons inspectors' orders?
>
> Saddam: I explain to you now that if Iraq possessed these so-called
weapons,
> we would never destroy them, but since we do not have any such weapons, we are happy to comply,
> even though these non-existent weapons certainly do
not
> exceed the proscribed range of 150 kms. I've tested them myself, and we don't have any.
>
> Blair: The final question is for George Bush. Mr President, is there any
way
> that Saddam Hussein can avoid war, and what steps must he now take in
order
> to reach a negotiated solution?
>
> Bush: Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with the UN inspectorers, and
> I mean activated compilation, not passivist compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping
> with UN revelation 1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even more
> fully that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other weapons of mass destruction
> he's found, or not found, to be possessive of, without being asked. Finally, there is one more
> task he must perform,
which
> I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough.
>
> Blair: The translator would like to take your answer home with him and
work
> on it over the weekend.
>
> Bush: Fine, but we require nothing less than total disarmature.
>
> Saddam: OK.
>
> Blair: Sorry, but I'm not sure that "disarmature" is a word. I defer to
the
> UN Keeper of the Dictionary, Mr Richard Stilgoe.
>
> Stilgoe: Yes, you can have disarmature. It means, "the action of
disarming"
> according to the OED.
>
> Bush: Exactly. He must cut his own arms off.
>
> Saddam: If it means peace, I will do it.
>
> Bush: Too late.
>
> Stilgoe: Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram of 'Demands a Sushi'?
>
> Saddam: Yes, I've heard them all.
>
> Bush: I don't eat sushi. Is there a fish option?
>
> Blair: I'd like to remind everyone at home that the Monica Lewinsky-Tonya Harding fight follows
> after the break.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
K

Kirt Bowman

Guest
Now lets go to the Thunder Dome 2 men enter 1 man leaves, 2men enter 1 man leaves, That right ladies
and gentleman dying time is here!!

"Al Kubeluis" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Benters, Please excuse off-topic matter, but in case you missed it live on tv.
> ~~~al.kubeluis..md.usa.earth.sun.milkyway.virgo.universe..corsa~~~
>
> Bush and Hussein Debate! Tuesday February 25, 2003
>
> Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between
George
> W Bush and Saddam Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters in New York. We will begin with a
> brief opening statement from each of you.
>
> Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN, one of the great
> American institutions for the propulsion of freedom throughout the world.
>
> Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find some common ground
> between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and
human
> progress and America's desire to destroy the Middle East.
>
> Bush: Do I answer that?
>
> Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links with al-Qaida?
>
> Bush: I do not.
>
> Blair: The question is for President Saddam.
>
> Saddam: As I told Mr Tony Bennet clearly and simply, if I had links with al-Qaida and I enjoyed
> those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the world, but since I am ashamed to tell the
> world of this, it follows that I have no such links.
>
> Bush: Neither do I.
>
> Blair: The second question is for Mr Bush. Mr Bush, if America and Iraq
were
> to go to war tomorrow, who would win?
>
> Bush: That's easy. America, right?
>
> Saddam: Even I knew that one.
>
> Bush: That's because the great United American States of America are on
the
> side of rightliness and Americanity, against an evil Axis of Evil made up
of
> Iraq, North Korea and... how many are in an axis? Three?
>
> Blair: I think you're allowed as many as you like.
>
> Bush: OK, Iraq, North Korea and France.
>
> Saddam: I will tell you frankly and directly that Iraq is not part of any Axis of Evil.
>
> Bush: Who am I thinking of then? Irania?
>
> Blair: Let's move on. Saddam, are you willing to destroy your stockpile of Samoud 2 missiles in
> accordance with UN weapons inspectors' orders?
>
> Saddam: I explain to you now that if Iraq possessed these so-called
weapons,
> we would never destroy them, but since we do not have any such weapons, we are happy to comply,
> even though these non-existent weapons certainly do
not
> exceed the proscribed range of 150 kms. I've tested them myself, and we don't have any.
>
> Blair: The final question is for George Bush. Mr President, is there any
way
> that Saddam Hussein can avoid war, and what steps must he now take in
order
> to reach a negotiated solution?
>
> Bush: Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with the UN inspectorers, and
> I mean activated compilation, not passivist compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping
> with UN revelation 1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even more
> fully that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other weapons of mass destruction
> he's found, or not found, to be possessive of, without being asked. Finally, there is one more
> task he must perform,
which
> I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough.
>
> Blair: The translator would like to take your answer home with him and
work
> on it over the weekend.
>
> Bush: Fine, but we require nothing less than total disarmature.
>
> Saddam: OK.
>
> Blair: Sorry, but I'm not sure that "disarmature" is a word. I defer to
the
> UN Keeper of the Dictionary, Mr Richard Stilgoe.
>
> Stilgoe: Yes, you can have disarmature. It means, "the action of
disarming"
> according to the OED.
>
> Bush: Exactly. He must cut his own arms off.
>
> Saddam: If it means peace, I will do it.
>
> Bush: Too late.
>
> Stilgoe: Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram of 'Demands a Sushi'?
>
> Saddam: Yes, I've heard them all.
>
> Bush: I don't eat sushi. Is there a fish option?
>
> Blair: I'd like to remind everyone at home that the Monica Lewinsky-Tonya Harding fight follows
> after the break.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
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