Cow/Lake/Bomb [OT]

Discussion in 'UK and Europe' started by Guy Chapman, Jun 2, 2003.

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  1. Guy Chapman

    Guy Chapman Guest

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  2. The Mark

    The Mark Guest

  3. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

    On Mon, 2 Jun 2003 19:53:25 +0000 (UTC), "the Mark" <[email protected]> wrote:

    >Guy Chapman wrote:
    >> If you didn't hear it, then you really need to!
    >>
    >> <http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?clue> should find it.
    >
    >Thanks for that. It had me in stitches.

    Excellent, Guy. At the first hearing I thought the round was called Cow/Lake/Bong. Not too far from
    the mark, come to think of it.

    Boris J. was on "good form" on <http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?newsquiz>, which I
    also listened to.

    The words "Boris J" and "good form" in conjunction naturally take a slightly strange meaning.

    James

    --
    http://homepage.ntlworld.com/c.butty/Dscf0632.jpg
     
  4. Graeme Dods

    Graeme Dods Guest

    [email protected] (Guy Chapman) wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > If you didn't hear it, then you really need to!
    >
    > <http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?clue> should find it.

    This was on in the background when we had dinner last night round at my parents. My dad and I were
    in absolute stitches and my wife and my mum were looking at each other as if they were wondering
    which one should call the men in white coats. Some people just don't appreciate ISIHAC, probably one
    of the best programmes on the radio (a closely run competition with JAM).

    Have (silly) fun!

    Graeme
     
  5. Peter Clinch

    Peter Clinch Guest

    Graeme Dods wrote:

    > This was on in the background when we had dinner last night round at my parents. My dad and I were
    > in absolute stitches and my wife and my mum were looking at each other as if they were wondering
    > which one should call the men in white coats.

    Sounds familiar. I'm a fan, as are several friends including one who's partner just stares at us in
    blank bemusement when it comes to ISIHAC, occasionally blurting out "but it's not funny!" at us.
    "It's crap!", she says; "that's the whole point!" we reply, but she can't see it. She hates the
    Archers! What can you do...?

    Never mind, how about a joke to cheer up the readers... "My dog has no nose!" "But how does he
    determine aromas?" "Not awfully well, I'm afraid!"

    Pete.
    --
    Peter Clinch University of Dundee Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Medical Physics, Ninewells Hospital
    Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net [email protected]
    http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/
     
  6. Henry Braun

    Henry Braun Guest

    On Tue, 3 Jun 2003, Peter Clinch wrote:
    > Never mind, how about a joke to cheer up the readers... "My dog has no nose!" "But how does he
    > determine aromas?" "Not awfully well, I'm afraid!"

    My wife's just gone My wife's just gone to the West Indies. to the East Indies. ---Jamaica?
    ---Jakarta? No, she went of her No, she went of her own accord! own accord!
     
  7. Al_mossah

    Al_mossah Guest

    Boris J was on Top Gear. He was suitably aghast when JC revealed that he (JC) drove in bus lanes.
    JC's views on cyclists (they shouldn't be on the road, they don't pay anything for the privilege)
    turned Boris from a gibbering wreck into, well, a gibbering wreak.

    The trouble with Boris is that he always appears completely flumoxed by a question. It appears that
    he genuinely had never considered that anyone would adopt JC's approach on bus lanes ("of course
    they're empty- that's why I use them- they're great"), and isn't quick-witted enough to counter with
    a coherent argument. It is a shame, because as a polititian who actually cycles (I know- I saw him
    once), I respect him.

    Peter.

    "James Hodson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > On Mon, 2 Jun 2003 19:53:25 +0000 (UTC), "the Mark" <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > >Guy Chapman wrote:
    > >> If you didn't hear it, then you really need to!
    > >>
    > >> <http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?clue> should find it.
    > >
    > >Thanks for that. It had me in stitches.
    >
    > Excellent, Guy. At the first hearing I thought the round was called Cow/Lake/Bong. Not too far
    > from the mark, come to think of it.
    >
    > Boris J. was on "good form" on <http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?newsquiz>, which I
    > also listened to.
    >
    > The words "Boris J" and "good form" in conjunction naturally take a slightly strange meaning.
    >
    > James
    >
    > --
    > http://homepage.ntlworld.com/c.butty/Dscf0632.jpg
     
  8. Peter Clinch

    Peter Clinch Guest

    Henry Braun wrote:

    > My wife's just gone My wife's just gone to the West Indies. to the East Indies. ---Jamaica?
    > ---Jakarta? No, she went of her No, she went of her own accord! own accord!

    Apologies in advance for this one...

    My wife just returned from a Barry Manilow concert in a far eastern city-state.

    -- Singapore?

    quite dreadful, apparently...

    Pete.
    --
    Peter Clinch University of Dundee Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Medical Physics, Ninewells Hospital
    Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net [email protected]
    http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/
     
  9. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

  10. Henry Braun

    Henry Braun Guest

    On Tue, 3 Jun 2003, James Hodson wrote:
    > >My wife's just gone My wife's just gone to the West Indies. to the East Indies. ---Jamaica?
    > >---Jakarta? No, she went of her No, she went of her own accord! own accord!
    >
    > <V B GRIN>

    Oh, and I was forgetting:

    My husband's just gone to East Africa. ---Djibouti? No, he went of his own accord!

    <bang><splash><moo
     
  11. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

    Apologies in advance for all these - just received ...

    Subject: Delia vs. Real Women

    Delia’s Way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
    ice-cream drips.

    The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are
    probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

    Delia's Way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    The Real Women's Way: Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

    Delia’s Way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix
    instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    The Real Women's Way: Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

    Delia's Way #4: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
    potato slice.

    The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Please
    recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad
    it tastes."

    Delia's Way #5: Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep
    for weeks.

    The Real Women's Way: It could keep forever. Who eats it?

    Delia’s Way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield beautiful
    glossy finish.

    The Real Women's Way: Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg white over
    the crust so I don't do that.

    Delia’s Way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The
    throbbing will go away.

    The Real Women's Way: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of
    tequila. Drink the tequila. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a sh*t and chances
    are you will probably pass out anyway - problem solved!

    Delia's Way #8: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a
    non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    The Real Women's Way: What's the point of blokes then?

    And finally, the most important tip ... Delia's Way #9: Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for
    future use in casseroles and sauces.

    The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine????

    James

    --
    http://homepage.ntlworld.com/c.butty/Dscf0632.jpg
     
  12. Al_mossah

    Al_mossah Guest

    Superb! Cut, pasted and distributed. Cu-ching.
     
  13. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

  14. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

    With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the
    death of a very important person which went almost un-noticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who
    wrote "The Hokey Kokey" died peacefully aged 83.

    The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

    They put his left leg in - and things just started to go downhill from there.

    James

    --
    http://homepage.ntlworld.com/c.butty/Dscf0632.jpg
     
  15. James Hodson <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > On Mon, 2 Jun 2003 19:53:25 +0000 (UTC), "the Mark" <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > >Guy Chapman wrote:
    > >> If you didn't hear it, then you really need to!
    > >>
    > >> <http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?clue> should find it.
    > >
    > >Thanks for that. It had me in stitches.
    >
    > Excellent, Guy. At the first hearing I thought the round was called Cow/Lake/Bong. Not too far
    > from the mark, come to think of it.

    Indeed - another superb edition this week, featuring yet another top quality double entendre from
    Humph, at the expense of poor old Lionel Blair (so no change there)!

    David E. Belcher

    Dept. of Chemistry, University of York
     
  16. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

  17. Guy Chapman

    Guy Chapman Guest

    James Hodson <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...

    > The words "Boris J" and "good form" in conjunction naturally take a slightly strange meaning.

    Kind of reminds you that he was Head Boy at Eton, doesn't it?
     
  18. James Hodson

    James Hodson Guest

    On 3 Jun 2003 09:17:18 -0700, [email protected] (Guy Chapman) wrote:

    >> The words "Boris J" and "good form" in conjunction naturally take a slightly strange meaning.
    >
    >Kind of reminds you that he was Head Boy at Eton, doesn't it?

    Head boy? Is this one leading us back to "Bum a Fag"?

    James

    --
    http://homepage.ntlworld.com/c.butty/Dscf0632.jpg
     
  19. On Tue, 03 Jun 2003 16:38:20 +0100, James Hodson <[email protected]> wrote:

    >On 2 Jun 2003 12:08:52 -0700, [email protected] (Guy Chapman) wrote:
    >
    >>If you didn't hear it, then you really need to!
    >>
    >><http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?clue> should find it.
    >
    >As much as I enjoy the Mornington Crescent round I have to admit I have little idea what's going on
    >or what the rules, if any, are.
    >
    >Help is needed, people.

    There's a couple of MC newsgroups. Or you could drop Mrs. Trellis an e-mail, although I haven't been
    able to get hold of her since she moved to a Welsh separatist ISP. Still, her e-mail is
    [email protected] if that's any use to you.

    Dollis Hill.

    --
    DG

    Bah!
     
  20. Tony Raven

    Tony Raven Guest

    In news:[email protected], James Hodson
    <[email protected]> typed:
    >
    > As much as I enjoy the Mornington Crescent round I have to admit I have little idea what's going
    > on or what the rules, if any, are.
    >

    That's probably the most succinct explanation of the game and rules I've yet heard ;-)

    Tony

    --
    http://www.raven-family.com

    "All truth goes through three steps: First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.
    Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." Arthur Schopenhauer
     
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